11/09/2013
In case you haven’t seen any of my recent posts, I’ve decided to shut down this page. This is the latest in a series where I explain why.
Facebook is like a roach motel. You put things into it--words, pictures, videos, links--but they don’t come out.
Facebook is like Crystal M**h for the entire world. Facebook makes Walter White look like a piker. He never figured out how to distribute his addictive blue crystal in phones.
Facebook is like the NSA. All your content, every word you write in a status, every like, every comment, every share, is sliced, diced, pureed, put in slides and examined by electron microscopes, looking for atomic particles of money-producing matter.
Facebook is also the biggest archive in the history of the universe. It takes all the content that people put into it, and houses it forever in its 200,000 servers. These huge warehouses in Oregon, Virginia, North Carolina, and Lulea, Sweden, are like the end of “Citizen Kane.” The only difference is their vast size, which makes it a lot harder to find the sled, something that might come in handy in northern Sweden. I am particularly fascinated with this particular Facebook data center on the edge of the Arctic Circle as I sometimes wonder if the Man of Steel is the caretaker.
Thousands of the smartest people alive get up every day and try to figure out how to squeeze additional billions out the data you have so blithely handed to them on a plate. Eventually they come up with delightful notions like adding videos of beheadings and making the networking service more pedophile-friendly.
They rarely tell anybody about the changes they make. Most are discovered by bloggers who study Facebook as if it was the Talmud written in Mercury, and pass on their discoveries to the armies of compulsive Facebook nerds, ninjas, and noodniks. Sometimes there are announcements that are so vague that they get a lot of press about how indecipherable they are. Sometimes they do something grand with tremendous hoopla, like redoing the analytics. (I'm sorry Mark, you're never going to be Steve Jobs, just like graph search will never be the iPad.)
Let me be clear: all this stuff is just dandy with me.
The thing that made my head explode was when I read their description of how I could use the word “Facebook.” Certain things are not allowed. For example, you can’t use a term like “Facebookify,” “Facebookicize” or “FacebookLeanOverTheTablePullDownYourPantsAndThinkofEngland.”
This was the last straw.