Patti Tutalo Consulting

Patti Tutalo Consulting Patti is a Holistic Counselor and passionate about joining people on their journey to find purpose and live more authentically.

Tutalo Consultants partners with organizations to improve culture, leadership, and retention through training, workshops, data, and a deep commitment to creating workplaces where people feel valued. Whole Authentic You has been years in the making. After spending 20 years in the Coast Guard, Patti knows what it is like to pretend to be someone else be seen as a good performer, leader, and often co

mprised who she was to fit in. She soon realized many of the women she worked with were also doing the same thing. She decided it was time to take her holistic counseling, leadership, education, and experience and start a company dedicated to helping women step into their authentic selves so they can give a more purposeful meaningful life. Patti has a Master degree in Holistic Counseling and a Bachelor's degree in Management. She has certificates from Dartmouth's Tuck School of Business New Step Program, Harvard Kennedy School's Women and Power program and Strategies for Building and Leading Diverse Organizations program. She is also a certified Reiki Master. During her military career, she served as the Coast Guard's Gender Policy Advisor, advocating for women's issues, led a million dollar study on women's retention bringing light to women's issues in a very public way. She also managed three medical clinics, supervised a staff of social workers helping military members balance their work and life, worked at the Pentagon and honed her leadership skills. Outside of the military, she has worked in private practice counseling individuals and volunteered at a non-profit organization where she counseled groups of grieving children. She currently serves in the External Relations Position on the Governance Committee for the Coast Guard's Women's Leadership Initiative, is a member of Women in Government Relations and a Girl Scout troop leader.

“You do not have to be good.”That first line from Mary Oliver’s Wild Geese has stayed with me for years.But what does it...
09/08/2026

“You do not have to be good.”

That first line from Mary Oliver’s Wild Geese has stayed with me for years.But what does it actually mean to be “good?” Following the rules? Being successful? Being liked? Doing everything right?

I’ve been sitting with that question lately, and with how exhausting it can be to try to live up to all the different versions of “good” we carry. Maybe we don’t have to earn our worth or our belonging. Maybe we are already enough.

Read more here:

https://pattitutalo.substack.com/p/you-do-not-have-to-be-good?r=6avwm6&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=tru

A reflection on being messy, imperfect, human, and still worthy

As an athlete and a military member, I learned to push through pain, exhaustion, and discomfort. For a long time, that s...
09/01/2026

As an athlete and a military member, I learned to push through pain, exhaustion, and discomfort. For a long time, that served me well. But lately, my body has been telling me something different.

Sometimes healing requires slowing down enough to actually listen. So in this Substack, I’m sharing a personal experience with physical therapy, the symptoms that led me there, and the unexpected emotions that surfaced along the way.

I’m sharing it because women don’t talk about this enough. We normalize symptoms, push through discomfort, and sometimes spend years looking for answers without realizing how connected everything in our bodies can be. This experience has reminded me that strength doesn’t always mean pushing harder, but trusting your body enough to let it lead. I’m finally learning to do that, and I’m finding my power again.

Read the full piece below:

What pelvic floor physical therapy taught me about healing, slowing down, and finding my power again

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by how many things in the world need our attention. I see an issue and immediately want to...
08/25/2026

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by how many things in the world need our attention. I see an issue and immediately want to learn more, help, advocate, or find a solution. But we can’t take on everything. And maybe we aren’t supposed to.

So how do we choose the causes that truly matter to us, protect our capacity, and allow others to do the same? We can care deeply about something without making it ours to carry.

In this Substack, I’m reflecting on where we put our energy, the different ways we can create change, and why saying no doesn’t mean we don’t care.

How I am learning to choose where I put my time, energy, and advocacy

When something good happens, do you celebrate it... or do you immediately move on to the next thing?Recently, I made a c...
08/18/2026

When something good happens, do you celebrate it... or do you immediately move on to the next thing?

Recently, I made a conscious decision to celebrate a few wins in my life and stay in that feeling a little longer. It changed my mood, my perspective, and even the conversations I had with others.

Celebration doesn't erase the hard things happening around us. It just reminds us that joy and hardship can exist at the same time.

What are you celebrating today? I'd love to hear and celebrate with you!

Read the full article here:

Even on the hardest days, there is still goodness worth noticing.

For a long time, I've believed that if I was going to share something, it needed to be complete. Well researched. Helpfu...
08/11/2026

For a long time, I've believed that if I was going to share something, it needed to be complete. Well researched. Helpful. Wrapped up with a lesson or a solution.

I have more than a dozen unpublished essays sitting on my computer because I kept waiting until they felt "ready." But I'm learning that not every experience needs to be explained or solved. Sometimes we just need to be present with it.

My latest Substack is about learning to let go of perfection and trust the journey, even when it feels unfinished.

Read it here:

Remembering that being human is enough.

I've been sitting with a question lately. Why is it that you can spend time with two people who are both going through s...
08/04/2026

I've been sitting with a question lately. Why is it that you can spend time with two people who are both going through something difficult, yet one interaction leaves you feeling connected while the other leaves you feeling completely drained?

I've learned that it often has less to do with the circumstances and more to do with emotional awareness. It's something I've been reflecting on, along with the importance of protecting our own energy while still showing up with compassion for others.

I share more in this Substack:

Why some people leave us feeling lighter while others leave us feeling depleted.

Have you ever walked away from a conversation totally convinced someone was upset with you, only to realize later that y...
07/28/2026

Have you ever walked away from a conversation totally convinced someone was upset with you, only to realize later that you had filled in the blanks yourself?

I do that often, and it happened again recently. A simple situation reminded me how quickly old patterns can take over and how easy it is to assume responsibility for things that aren't actually mine to carry.

In this Substack, I share how this experience led me back to the Ladder of Inference, a tool I learned in grad school. It helped me slow down, question my assumptions, and see the situation differently.

Read the full article here:

What if the story in your head isn't the whole story?

Summer has a way of inviting us to slow down, but many of us don't know how.I've been thinking about just how much press...
07/21/2026

Summer has a way of inviting us to slow down, but many of us don't know how.

I've been thinking about just how much pressure we place on ourselves and our children to keep achieving. More accomplishments. More activities. More productivity. Somewhere along the way, even summer has started to feel like another opportunity to get ahead.

So this week's Substack is about learning to embrace a different pace. It's a reminder that rest isn't something we have to earn. It has value on its own.

I share some of what I've been wrestling with this summer, from balancing work and family to questioning whether our culture's definition of success is actually serving us. I hope it encourages you to pause, take a breath, and enjoy this season a little more.

What does your ideal summer pace look like? Have you found ways to truly slow down, or are you still learning?

Read the full article here:

Learning to slow down in a world that rewards constant achievement.

A dear friend introduced me to the Merlin Bird ID app during our retreat in Oak Island, and what started as a fun way to...
07/14/2026

A dear friend introduced me to the Merlin Bird ID app during our retreat in Oak Island, and what started as a fun way to identify birds quickly became something more. Instead of filling every walk with a podcast or audiobook, I find myself listening to nature.

It made me realize how often I notice what I can see, but overlook what I can hear. As I dug into the research, I discovered that listening to birdsong has measurable benefits for our mental and physical well-being.

In this Substack, I share how a few birds changed the way I think about being present, why I am turning into a birder, and what the science says about the healing power of birdsong.

I'd love to know - when was the last time you took a walk without headphones and just listened?

Read the full article here:

How learning to listen changed the way I experience nature.

Heal your heart.It sounds simple, but those words carry so much meaning. Our hearts hold our grief, our joy, our compass...
07/07/2026

Heal your heart.

It sounds simple, but those words carry so much meaning. Our hearts hold our grief, our joy, our compassion, our fears, and the experiences that shape who we become. Yet many of us spend far more time listening to our minds than we do our hearts.

In my latest Substack, I explore what it means to heal your heart, why that healing looks different for each of us, and a few simple practices to help us slow down and listen rather than push everything aside.

If you took five quiet minutes today to listen to your heart, what do you think it would tell you?

Read more here:

Learning to slow down, listen deeply, and begin the work of healing.

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Centreville, VA
20120

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