08/19/2026
It isn't unusual for me to receive a fair amount of pushback from potential parties to a mediation when I describe all of us being together in the same virtual or physical room as the default setting. There is often a fear of the conversation "blowing up" or just a general discomfort with a direct, difficult conversation. Taking the emotion out of the room by taking the people to different rooms seems easier. And, I suppose, it can be. However, SO MUCH is lost when folks aren't engaging directly with each other. There is a monumental difference between understanding something in the abstract and feeling the weight of that very same something in person.
As such, my role as a mediator isn't to cajole or educate parties, to deliver offers or steer towards solutions. I am tasked with creating an environment where parties can both hear and be heard, focus the conversation on those things important to the parties and allow them to paint a fuller picture of what this all means to them.
This feedback from a recent mediation really exemplifies what I am trying to do in the room. It may not seem mind-blowing, but it meant the world to me.
"I was able to explain my side, and ask questions when I had them. The mediator repeated back what was being said on both sides just to verify that he was comprehending the conversation on every level.. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be.... I love that it was via zoom, mainly. And I love that it didn't feel rushed. The mediator really took his time to make sure both sides reach an amicable agreement... Honestly, there was nothing I did not like..."
