Martha the Death Doula

Directions Website Contact the business

Martha the Death Doula Published Author, Breathwork Facilitator, Life/Death Coach

Trained, non-medical professional who provides holistic emotional, spiritual, and practical support to individuals and their families during the end-of-life process.

Surprised by Pearl šŸ«‚C.S. Lewis wrote Surprised by Joy and, later, A Grief Observed.Lately, I’ve been surprised by someth...
10/07/2026

Surprised by Pearl šŸ«‚

C.S. Lewis wrote Surprised by Joy and, later, A Grief Observed.

Lately, I’ve been surprised by something else entirely.

Pearl.

ā€œPoor Pitiful Pearlā€ was a strange little doll I had as a child. And apparently, somewhere deep inside me, she became the perfect image of the little girl who learned that when life feels frightening, you get small.

You become shy.
You apologize.
You criticize yourself before anyone else can.
You shrink for safety.

I thought I knew Death.

For nearly 20 years, Death has been one of my greatest teachers. I’ve studied grief, consciousness, spirituality and what it means to stand at the threshold. I became a certified Death Doula. I’ve sat with mortality, explored it, written about it, even learned to regard Death as an old companion walking beside me.

A Threshold Walker. An adventurer.

And then mortality knocked on my door.

Suddenly it wasn't philosophy.

It was my heart.
My arteries.
My body.
My life.

And much to my surprise, the fearless Threshold Walker didn't stride confidently toward the mystery.

Poor Pitiful Pearl came out. šŸ˜‚

She was scared.

And I've watched her appearing in the strangest ways—apologizing too much, second-guessing myself, making self-deprecating comments that don't even sound like me.

At first, I was embarrassed by her.

After everything I've learned, why am I behaving like this?

And then I finally recognized her.

Oh, PEARL!! There you are!

You don't need another lesson about Death, sweetheart.

You need a hug. šŸ«‚

Maybe this is the lesson I couldn't learn from studying death, accompanying others through thresholds, or exploring the mysteries of consciousness.

Knowing Death philosophically is not the same thing as discovering your own frightened little animal body whispering:

But I don't want to die yet.

And perhaps wisdom isn't making that voice disappear.

Perhaps wisdom is taking her hand.

Death can keep walking beside us, as He always has.

Pearl can come too.

She doesn't have to be fearless.
She doesn't have to shrink.
She doesn't have to apologize for being frightened.

And neither do I.

What a wild ride this being-human business is. šŸ«‚ā¤ļøā™¾ļø

Whereever you are, you stand atop the bodies of the dead. Your feet touch dirt—that has built up over time through the d...
10/03/2026

Whereever you are, you stand atop the bodies of the dead. Your feet touch dirt—that has built up over time through the decaying bodies of plants, insects, small beings and large, branches, stones worn down that are themselves the calcified bodies of lost oceans. Whether you are in a house with a basement, or standing in the penthouse of a skyscaper, it is the ancestors who are beneath you, bearing you up.

The whole earth is an ancestor altar and there is not one moment on any day that those in the shadowlands are not reaching out and speaking to us in the ten thousand lost languages of the natural world.

In my dining room is an ancestor altar with photos of long-gone relatives, dead friends and neighbors and pets, mementos of beings I never even knew when they were alive. Each morning I begin in conversation with them, placing each of my worries and cares in someone’s hands on the other side. Because of this relationship, my entire relationship to the living has transformed. Because, of course, the dead are always coming back to new bodies. I pray to my father and the oak tree lets fall in a flurry of leaves as I pass under it. I pray to a old friend and the goldfinch emerges from the forest. I pray to a forgotten saint—and an owl follows me on my walk, hooting and calling.

The whole earth is an ancestor altar and everything alive has died and come back ten thousand times ten thousand times. To live in these merciful circles of transformation and becoming is to know what it is to belong.

We are the dead to whom we pray.
Whereever you are, you stand atop the bodies of the dead. Your feet touch dirt—that has built up over time through the decaying bodies of plants, insects, small beings and large, branches, stones worn down that are themselves the calcified bodies of lost oceans. Whether you are in a house with a basement, or standing in the penthouse of a skyscaper, it is the ancestors who are beneath you, bearing you up.

The whole earth is an ancestor altar and there is not one moment on any day that those in the shadowlands are not reaching out and speaking to us in the ten thousand lost languages of the natural world.

In my dining room is an ancestor altar with photos of long-gone relatives, dead friends and neighbors and pets, mementos of beings I never even knew when they were alive. Each morning I begin in conversation with them, placing each of my worries and cares in someone’s hands on the other side. Because of this relationship, my entire relationship to the living has transformed. Because, of course, the dead are always coming back to new bodies. I pray to my father and the oak tree lets fall in a flurry of leaves as I pass under it. I pray to a old friend and the goldfinch emerges from the forest. I pray to a forgotten saint—and an owl follows me on my walk, hooting and calling.

The whole earth is an ancestor altar and everything alive has died and come back ten thousand times ten thousand times. To live in these merciful circles of transformation and becoming is to know what it is to belong.

We are the dead to whom we pray.

The Way Back to Magic - perditafinn

Address

Dallas, TX

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Martha the Death Doula posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Business

Send a message to Martha the Death Doula:

Shortcuts

Share