12/08/2019
My first ever blog post.
Today’s my birthday, and I’m on the road again to speak. This time it's for the second of three EXPOs for the Texas Society of CPAs and the Young Professionals track. My topic? “How to Say Anything to Anyone without Offending or Conceding.”
Nearly seven years ago, I was deep in PTSD and so far from understanding the path of least resistance in order to avoid unnecessary conflict, unnecessary emotional drama and health risking trauma, and unnecessary financial loss.
Nearly five years ago, I was already fully recovered - having experienced a swift path of posttraumatic growth and realizing I had not been a victim, but contributing to my own and other’s misery. And, I began envisioning “Resolve the past. Manage the present. Real-time resolution. For real.”
Nearly three years ago, I was delivering the commencement speech on behalf of my fellow colleagues for our celebratory graduation from SMU’s Master of Arts program in Dispute Resolution.
Today, I give thanks and am so grateful to everyone who helped me on my journey to where I am. My birthday wish is that someone may gain much needed ease from, and possibly be able to avoid, unnecessary hardship in some way via the essence of "real-time resolution, for good."
So, when you feel “wronged,” or desperately need relief from serious conflict:
One. Right away, put yourself in the other person’s shoes, and without judgment. This may seem counter-intuitive and may seem to dismiss your own needs and values, but trust me - it is the path to self-preservation.
Two. Clarify the true “why” underneath your feelings, without reference to anyone else, and without self-blame.
Three. Reflect on the your choices that have lead up to this moment - recent and past. How have these impacted where you are now? What are your choices moving forward?
While we can’t control what others say or do, we are fully capable of arriving at what’s at the heart of our challenges. Once we know how to tap into that, that’s all the control we need to find resolution and peace.
Thanks for listening.
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