01/09/2019
In light of this R Kelly debacle, I would like to open up Herolov to anyone who is or was s*xually abused. Especially victims of child abuse. This is a real problem that needs to be talked about more. I feel this is the perfect time to highlight this atrocity that plagues our society, mainly because no one has the courage to speak up! Well guess what I Do.
Everyone, including myself initially, is bashing R. Kelly, and rightfully so to some degree. The heinous abuse of women both s*xually and physically is a horrible thing to hear and impossible to defend. However, once I found out that Kelly, and his brother, were repeatedly s*xually abused by their pubescent sister (15) for seven years from ages 7-14, I felt really bad for him. Furthermore, the entire situation started to make more sense and it humanized him for me.
"Hurt people hurt people" is a well-known phrase, but nevertheless a phrase that is not followed up with love or support for the all victims involved. I encourage all of us to ask WHY more often. Instead of doing these easy thing and blindly joining the angry internet mob only so we can feel part of something in our own pathetic lives. When you ask why here, the answer is simple: s*xual abuse is LIFE-CHANGING. For the victim, and everyone close to them. Sexually abused child males are approximately 40% more likely to s*xually abuse someone else in their life if their abuse came from within the house (family). In Kelly's case, I'm just thankful his s*xual promiscuity was aimed at pubescent girls and not pre-pubescent children like he endured.
I personally know very many victims of Child Sexual Abuse (CSA). And everyone of their stories breaks my heart. Which is why we need to move the focus on kids who ran away from their parents, to the Pied Piper, and start focusing on how to stop Pied Pipers from ever being created. Why is no one blaming Kelly's sister? How does she get a pass on all this? If I found out a 15 was touching on my seven year old son, there would be hell to pay. More importantly, there's a conversation that would need to be had with that girl and with my son. But simply don't talk about these things with our children SMH. One of the hardest conversations I've ever thought I was gonna have, was talking to my son around age 7 or 8 about s*x and about what's appropriate and what's not. It was actually easy easier than I thought. Now if he had told me someone had molested him when I asked him about that, obviously things would have been a bit tougher, but HERE'S THE KEY;
I had a healthy educational conversation about s*x with my child so that he would know how to put himself and possibly others from s*xual deviances. In the case he had been molested, I could then preemptively address the mental side affects that come with being introduced to s*x at such a young age. As well as any other complexities that may come from any pre-pubescent s*xual experience. This type of talk could have saved Kels, which would have saved so many people so much pain. So when we're all done bashing a seven year old r**e victim, can we please have this talk with our children.... Thank You.
