The Passive-Aggressive Lab

The Passive-Aggressive Lab Our mission is to provide the best @ #&% advances in %$£! science through serious, %&*§ methodological research!

10/30/2025

Due to our signing of the Trump compact, all DEI initiatives are currently on hold.

Yes, Juan, that includes your promotion. Go back to your desk.

03/19/2025

To all associates: SOP-54 explicitly prohibits drinking games, especially the one routinely performed during literature reviews wherein the players drink when finding an article by "Zhang et al."

The author of this strip has been fired, FYI
03/18/2025

The author of this strip has been fired, FYI

11/30/2024

PAL has won the contract to build the next generation of the Glowburst-Yetititrator southern apextron. Work will be performed by the newly-established apextron division in lab 41, starting with the important question: what exactly is a Glowburst-Yetititrator southern apextron?

10/14/2023

The article with the results of the XENOHIP project is out, but don't bother reading it. We asked ChatGPT to write it, and it's a load of made-up crap wrapped into a perfect English.

On another note: as this approach proved extremely successful, all of our research will now be made up directly by ChatGPT. Consider yourselves fired.

09/07/2021

Notice: we are sending some interns to water the man-eating bushes in building 5b. They are getting angry.

08/31/2021

Associates are kindly reminded that flirting is forbidden outside of "flirting hour" (odd-numbered mondays, from 10.00 to 11.00 AM)

08/30/2021

✏️✏️✏️ Notice from Ops ✏️✏️✏️

If you enrolled in the "No vaccines, pah! God is my copilot" clinical trial back in July, please be advised that you are forbidden from getting severly ill and especially from dying.

It messes up the sponsor's statistics.

08/28/2021

Attention associates: all who did not complete their vaccination and therefore cannnot produce an european green pass by monday 9 AM will be required to fill out form B309-II ("Last rite preferences").

02/25/2021

Dissemination of the results of the BOGOMEISTER project has started.

To anyone saying that the BOGOMEISTER project cannot disseminate any result since it produced no results whatsoever, we reply that science is made a k very) small step at a time: if you cannot see a result it doesn't necessarily mean it's not there!

12/24/2020

The CEO during the yearly Passive-Aggressive Party presented his warmest season's greetings to the staff and added: "Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away this year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special"

12/23/2020

Our PROVAX vaccine for the n-FATAL-51 highly infectious disease that has required the quarantining of building 31 has been approved by the FDA - we have shown it is safe, effective, and also quite tasty.

Subministrations will begin today in the cafateria, leading to the reopening of building 31 after 9 months, and possibly avoiding the collapse of western civilization.

HR reminds everyone that you can opt out of the vaccination by presenting form 3/c (certificate of stupidity).

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