Merriness

10/08/2020

Without getting to personal, I am a fan and a believer in the points made in this article. Give it a try, you too can be happier and healthier.

https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.healthdigest.com%2F258076%2Fsurprising-things-that-happen-when-you-start-sleeping-naked%2F%3Fzsource%3Dsmartnews%26fbclid%3DIwAR2dHgf45YKWADlzRCFE5CWaNFCryF6ay34KKP_gyWUOzY7S3HmacZVScyI&h=AT29N_mPYNS1PijqpiRPU7kILSCNLwbOceQDssehBDWCvwnoeLgHYep0t8kWSLq4GWfQgwGjLw6XFpIGrO8bA7H0VOSKg7dA9j0AbGM94Vu8kvRDJxf9hntK7CqDkRV7HXosQKTaUB-3AXgq4FD0&__tn__=%2CmH-R&c[0]=AT2YwaIr7XL5rmJ96UafbcMXyiFfjcmBnf48QzdXar5CWQlBAmuuUv42ugooUlI67CJtXEf1aV9M9luG91Obp1CY4_DLVOIWb1TPmPaOUM90otvJJdsV44Y6magbfRxpNmK9QlvI1LyV2DDe5NAq0ZXgGL0PniNAyq4ra2g8eorr9v4qwboJA0fzKoBHrFsCwZDkrxxzSnkA1A_hKsV43A

Sleeping naked comes with all sorts of unexpected positives — enough of 'em to make you toss those PJs and ditch those undergarments for good -- well, at least during after hours. Here's a look at all the surprising things that can happen when you start sleeping in the buff.

10/03/2019

The confidence to bring joy to the lives of others

I have made it a habit to deliver at least one compliment a day to a completely random stranger. It wasn't easy in the beginning. Our society is suspicious of anyone walking up to a stranger and then deliver a compliment. The "complimentor" is thought of as either one card short of a full deck or has some nefarious anterior motive. Imagine for a moment someone approaching you and complimenting you on your good looks, some kind gesture you may have just done, or a meaningful "thank you" for holding or opening a door. You know, more than just that automatic less than appreciative "thanks" we usually get. Aren't you, for just a moment, a little startled, hesitant to fully engage that person due to the strangeness of their behavior only to then recognize it as a genuine desire to appreciate something about you or something you have done. A slight smile comes across your face and a bubble of joy rises from your gut. Your reaction is "Wow", I guess all of humanity doesn't suck. Congratulations, feels pretty good, doesn't it.

In some cases, I have even asked; "Do you accept random compliments from a complete stranger? The responses have been everything from a flat emphatic "NO" to "where is the hidden camera?". Fortunately, the large majority of people are curious enough to just say, "yes". The compliment that follows is a personal recognition unique to that person at that moment and/or a day brightener. Do you know how many people go through the day, the week, or maybe even the month without even a slight recognition of just them as a person? A lot. Positive recognition and a word of encouragement go a long way. A few kind words can change the trajectory of a life when given at the right time and in the right place. People have responded to me with; "you just made my day!", "thank you, I needed that", and just a hug. I get something out of this practice too. Being a giver of kind words randomly to complete strangers keeps me close to my humanity, keeps me present looking for opportunities to brighten a day, and builds my reservoir of joy and happiness.

You never know when you are the catalyst to change a life. You are the person at the right time with the right words who contributes that last nudge to cause a person to become better. Building my confidence to bring joy to the lives of others has blessed them, blessed the next person they interact with and blessed me. Finding the opportunities to pay joy forward is a simple as being present to your day. Give it a shot. I think you will like it.

09/23/2019

The Courage to Live Gratefully

When I rewrote the Serenity Prayer to focus more on the Joy of living and personal happiness the goal was to positively impact the individual, provide a base for joyful and happy living and pay it forward by proactively increasing spreading joy.

How does being courageously grateful fit in?

Gratitude is the attitude. Who knew? It is easy to be grateful when life is smooth sailing. When the planets are aligned, and life is good. It takes courage to be grateful when life gets stormy. The mailman delivers an unexpected bill. You are passed over for a well-deserved promotion and "let go let God" doesn't seem to be work'in for yah. This is when it is tough to be grateful. Throughout history, throughout theology, throughout philosophy, there are examples of those who had a very difficult time being grateful in the face of adversity. All of us have seen the tornado, hurricane or flood victim standing in front of their demolished house being grateful that all family members are OK. I can guarantee being grateful would be much easier if their home had not been destroyed. A definition of courage is "strength in the face of adversity". Life is nothing if not a series of adversities. Therefore living gratefully takes courage.

But why gratitude?

Whether I believe it or not, I do have control over my attitude throughout my day. Regardless of how I feel when the morning alarm goes off it is my decision how I want to live that day. In fact, the only thing I have control over is how I respond to what life throws at me. As I go through the list of emotions, from admiration to triumph, gratitude puts me in the best place. For me, gratitude brings a calmness and a sense of presence. I am in a position to appreciate good things happening and to also have a reservoir of gratefulness to help me with the challenges as they reveal themselves throughout the day. Good events of the day refill my reservoir to handle the challenges. No other of the over 400 human emotions provides a sense of wellbeing no matter what happens throughout the day. The added benefit of living gratefully is facing each challenge with a greater sense of serenity, affording me the opportunity to create the best response to any event unfettered by emotions that may inhibit creativity.

Living gratefully has become a popular trend and has such is beginning to take a hit from overexposure. Gratitude for a loving family is an important recognition. Gratitude for your Eggo waffle not burning in the toaster is something else completely. The first certainly replenishes the reservoir while the second trivializes gratitude. So be careful not to abuse gratitude. Being grateful requires us to stop and recognize that for which we are grateful. Stopping puts us in the present if only for a couple of moments. It is very difficult to be grateful while racing into the future or tormenting ourselves with the past. yes, we are grateful for what has and is happening but it still requires us to stop and be in the moment. A place that it is very good to be.

08/15/2019

God Grant Me the Vision to Enjoy Life Fully

Even a small step in the right direction is a big step.

When I rewrote the Serenity Prayer to focus more on the Joy of living and personal happiness the goal was to positively impact the individual, provide a foundation to live joyfully....., and pay it forward by proactively spreading joy.

God grant be the vision to enjoy live fully.

So why is vision important to live fully?

By nature, we are leery of our environment. As humans, we are watchful with a predisposition to assume that danger is just around the corner. It was/is necessary for survival. Today, the threats may have changed but they are still out there. Most of us do not worry about being attacked by a tiger. However, we are all aware that there are sharks (real and metaphorical) in the water. For some, like police officers, their sense of danger must be honed to even a greater degree. For the rest of us, every day we receive news of dangers influencing our outlook on life.

Along with the everyday physical dangers are the everyday societal dangers we must survive. We are taught to "watch out for number one". In business, traffic, and even in home life, situations arise that can make us feel the entire cosmos is against us. There are evenings we fall into bed feeling beaten and abused wondering how we will make it through the next day. As songwriter put it, "Its a jungle out there", and every day we face that jungle.

Each morning we awaken and go through our morning routine steeling ourselves for the world that awaits us. We make our mental list what we need to accomplish that day and who or what may get in the way of our success. Then, just before we walk out the door most of us put on blinders. We become so focused on our mental to-do list, the problems we have to solve at the office and latter at home and the slights we are going to endure over the day that we become oblivious to most of what is going on around us. We are prepared to see the obstacles, the challenges, and the threats to our lives with great clarity. Unfortunately, that laser focus keeps us from seeing much of the good going on around us.

NO WONDER IT IS TOUGH TO HAVE AN ENJOYABLE DAY! JOY JUST DOESN'T MAKE THE CUT FOR MOST OF US AS WE START OUR DAY!!

When I get into the car before the key goes into the ignition, I have to take a moment and a breath to remove the blinders. My "to-do list" is still very much present, but I also make an effort to be present, "to see", all there is to see going on around me. Yes, the bad will still be there, but if I expand my vision, and be present I get to see the good, and that brings me Joy. By opening my eyes, and really seeing what is going on I will notice so many pleasant exchanges and sights. They can only be seen with the blinders off and my being open to the world (and people) around me. The puppy in the car next to me (literally saw one a pug wearing a Minnesota football jersey), a waitress and a diner exchanging a laugh, the infant's and the toddler's love for one another. or a child succeeding riding a two-wheeler for maybe the second or third time. All are moments of joy, positive and uplifting events that I would miss if I didn't take a moment to remove the blinders. All providing the joy I need to get through the tough parts of my day.

Life, being has challenging as it, is some mornings requires divine intervention to remove the blinders and gain a present perspective. This is why my rewrite of the serenity prayer begins with the line "God grant me the vision to enjoy life fully".

08/02/2019

DO YOU KNOW WHO (OR WHAT) YOU SERVE?

Happiness and fulfillment can only be achieved when you know WHO you serve.

You must serve somebody - inanimate objects cannot provide happiness and fulfillment

Living through service is living in gratitude.

In a perfect world, life's rewards would be generated by how well we served others. Our currency would be a combination of the joy we have in doing for others and the gratefulness others have for what we do for them. In my life, I have found when I focus my talents, gifts, and skills to serving others I am more joyful and generally more financially happy. I tell my kids all the time that you only have to be in the top five percent of what you do to be financially successful. The trick is finding what you really enjoy doing. Love surfing, be in the top five percent of surfers and you will make a good living. Love figuring out financing. Be in the top five percent of financial people and you will make a good living. Just keep it about doing what you are naturally good at and love doing. Put that in service to others and enjoy the benefits.

The best CEO I ever worked for understood the importance of working in service to company employees. She knew if employees are not happy and empowered to do their job the business would eventually fail. The CEO's success has more to do with serving employees than worrying about stockholders. Her success was also more fun for her because she had a great deal more control over empowering and supporting employees than all the factors influencing stockholders. Employees came first, customers came second, community came third, and shareholders came forth. Employees first has been a business philosophy for quite some time and are well understood by the leadership of today's most successful companies. Working in service to the company is hollow and leaves an emptiness. Working in service to employees and co-workers delivers joy in achievement, trustful teaming, and gratefulness for working in such an empowering environment.

Living in service to others at home is modeling successful and happy behavior. I know for me that I am less angry and much more approachable with a philosophy of service leading my way and have found that service to others creates an atmosphere of thankfulness and gratitude. It will help deliver positive outcomes and teach children how to be successful in life. Does this mean allowing yourself to be taken advantage of? Absolutely not! Providing a list of chores for children also teaches valuable lessons. Finding time for myself is necessary and important. Keeping your primary relationship first in the home focuses living in service on the foundation of the family. If you want a loving family environment bring a "living through service" attitude into the home and watch life blossom.

I am asked, what about living in service to God, and have wrestled with this question myself. Whether right or wrong, I have come to this. Serving others ethically and morally will be graced with God's love. My challenge is to learn and understand the ethical and moral teaching of my faith and then apply that in service to others. All that is in my control is how I treat and serve others, praying for the guidance and, when needed, strength from God. By using my talents, gifts, and skills in service to others, I enjoy the service I provide and am grateful to be living in service to others. Delivering my service in an ethical and morally just way in the grace of God's guidance gives me joy.

Finally, living through service requires us to recognize and appreciate the service of others. Being joyful recipients acknowledging the service of others completes the service circle, and raises the level of joy and happiness as both the producer and recipient of good deeds.

07/13/2019

You be You

I grew up in Minneapolis close to several of its’ famed chain of lakes. As a child and into my very early teens swimming and boating on these lakes was a great joy in my life. In my late teens I got a job as a cook at a fairly large restaurant chain. I would often work until 3am on Friday nights. On my way home, in the wee hours of the morning on warm summer nights, I would stop and go skinny dipping in Lake Harriet. It was delightful, relaxing, a little exhilarating and exactly what was needed after a 10-hour shift in a hot kitchen. It was me being me in those moments. The question became if this was a part of me, would it be accepted by others? I kept that secret for fear of not being accepted. It was me being me but afraid you might find out.

Recently I had a conversation with several “boating buddies” and the expression “you be you” became a focal point of our discussion. Being decades-long friends we had the benefit of time together and knew each other very well. In this company “you being you” and “me being me” was very easy. When I told them of my teenage escapades, they nodded acceptingly.

So how do we make “You be You” a mantra of acceptance to the point that you and I can feel comfortable enough to share some of those secrets we keep. Why is this so important? Because the fear of secrets being known is a happiness killer. The more genuine we can be the happier we will be. If we enjoy activities outside of societal norms. I enjoy skinny dipping. Does that need to be a reputation killer? If “You be You” is our mantra and our activity is not done when it may hurt others, then I say, I am going skinny dipping!

My Merriness succeeds when I am accepted, secrets and all.

Happily,
Tim Grant

07/31/2017

I found this article to be right on the money for greater happiness. Skim over the medical terms (mostly brain anatomy, physiology) and focus on the the behaviors that trigger happiness.

Put some into practice and let me know your results

https://www.theladders.com/p/21219/neuroscience-4-rituals-happy

You get all kinds of happiness advice on the internet from people who don’t know what they’re talking about. Don’t trust them. Trust neuroscience.

06/20/2017

I have a couple of openings two to four weeks out. Would love to do a couple of presentations for marketing purposes. If you have a group and would like a presenter, please give me a shout.

05/28/2017

No matter your age or perceived ability, there are certain exercises that have incredible benefits for every body. These functional strength exercises ...

04/10/2017

The following article does a great job of defining, explaining and promoting GRATITUDE.

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/gratitude-appreciation/

What is gratitude exactly? Gratitude is an important positive emotion that has many benefits. Think you know about them? Read more about it here.

04/04/2017

Here are some nuggets just for you and perfect for a beautiful day.

http://greatist.com/live/how-to-be-happier-in-3-steps

It has way less to do with current conditions than you think.