08/26/2026
I have struggled to put into words the recent loss our BST family has suffered. As if refusing to acknowledge it, refusing to say it out loud, refusing to let it fully sink in will somehow change the reality. Heartbreakingly, the reality has not changed, and our family and the IDD community have lost an incredible person with the death of Sharlene Kobb on August 21.
I had heard of the infamous “Pastor Shar,” but had not had the pleasure of crossing her path until I received a random email from her applying to work at BST in October 2015. I was intrigued, met with her, and an instant friendship was born.
To know Shar was to both love her and fear her just a tiny bit. She never pulled a punch, told it like it was, fiercely protected others, held strong opinions, and gave and gave and gave of herself. With a personality like that, it made for some very interesting and intense conversations—which she relished.
It got to the point that she would call or text me after such exchanges to “tell on herself” before I got a call from someone else, letting me know that she “thought she’d smoothed it over pretty well.” I would just laugh, shake my head, and say, “Thanks for the heads up.”
Shar wore so many hats—advocate, behavior consultant, aunt, pastor, friend, guardian, concerned community member. She was known to say, “I had to remove my pastor hat for that conversation,” or, “I had to say I’m not a BC right now; I’m putting my advocate hat on,” so she could speak her mind. She simply didn’t know any other way to live in this world.
You knew when Shar shared her thoughts, they were her true thoughts, coming straight from her heart.
It’s unimaginable that I will never get to hear how the “young ladies” on her caseload got THE look when they needed to rein themselves in and remember “how a young lady should act and talk to others.”
Her email to me in 2015 said:
“Behavior changes as the person becomes the person they were created to be (sometimes a person needs a support plan to help them do that). Always it requires strong relationship building skills that can only be learned by the people in their circle of community building those relationships with them by example.”
Shar set that example every day.
The pain of being left behind to mourn someone so impactful is physical and crushing. At some point, I hope I can focus on the good memories and remember Shar with a smile on my face. But for now, I, as well as her BST family, am struggling to get past the tears and grief.
Rest easy, Shar.
You left an indelible mark on our lives, on BST, and on our community. We were better for having you among us, and we will carry a piece of you—and the example you set—with us always.
The family is planning a service for September 26 at Clay United Methodist Church on Ironwood. Details will follow.
