05/14/2026
This morning I’m moving slowly on purpose. ☕
My son had a necessary surgery yesterday, and he’s doing well — resting and recovering, exactly as he should be.
For those who know a little of my story, you know that caregiving isn’t new territory for me. And one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn over the years is this: when someone you love needs you, it’s incredibly easy to disappear into that role. To absorb all of the extra — the logistics, the worry, the emotional weight — on top of everything else that still has to get done.
Work doesn’t pause. The house doesn’t pause. Life doesn’t pause. But somehow you do.
Many years ago a therapist reframed something for me that I keep coming back to:
It’s not selfish. It’s self-responsible.
There’s a difference. Selfish takes from others. Self-responsible makes sure there’s still something left of you to give.
So this morning, instead of jumping straight into the day, I made a slower cup of coffee. I sat on my porch. I gave myself a few quiet minutes before I gave them to anyone else.
It’s a small thing. But small things add up.
If you’re in a season of caregiving — whether that’s for a child, a partner, a parent, or a friend — I want you to hear this: you are allowed to still exist inside that season. Your needs don’t disappear because someone else’s are louder right now.
You can hold space for someone you love and still hold a little space for yourself.
That’s not weakness. That’s how you stay.
💛
