12/25/2024
**A Plumber’s Night Before Christmas**
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the shop,
Not a wrench was a-turning, no faucet to stop.
The pipe wrenches hung on the tool rack with care,
In hopes that no leaks would spring anywhere.
The plumbers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of gaskets danced in their heads.
And I in my coveralls, boots by my chair,
Had just settled down from a long day of repair.
When out in the yard there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew in a flash,
Tripped over a toolbox and upturned the trash.
The moon on the puddles from last week’s big storm
Gave the shop’s snowy roof a radiant form.
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.
With a driver so jolly, all covered in soot,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick!
More rapid than water his reindeer they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Copper! Now Pex! Now Cast Iron and Brass!
On Fl**ge! On Valve! On Elbow and Mass!
To the top of the roof! To the plumbing display!
Now dash away, dash away, dash all the way!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
They soared to the rooftop and parked in the sky.
Then down through the chimney, Saint Nick made his way,
With a bag full of tools for plumbers’ payday.
He was dressed all in denim, from his cap to his boot,
And his beard was all dusted with PVC soot.
A bundle of fittings he had on his back,
And he looked like a plumber unpacking his pack.
His eyes—how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry.
His calloused old hands gripped a shiny pipe wrench,
And he smelled faintly of solder and a workbench.
He spoke not a word but went straight to his task,
Fixing the drip from a poorly sealed gask.
He tightened the fittings and checked the main line,
Then gave me a nod that said, “It’s all fine.”
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the spray from a bristle.
But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
“Happy Plumbing to all, and to all a dry night!”
