One Neigh at a Time

08/16/2026

People are at war with themselves… I can relate

08/14/2026

Horses aren’t responding to your words…
They are responding to your state of being. - Melisa Pearce

One of the things we love most about horses is that they reveal the parts of ourselves that we simply cannot hide.

They're not responding to our words nearly as much as they're responding to our state of being.

They immediately notice the tension behind the smile. They feel the grief behind the smile, the fear that's hidden inside confidence, and the exhaustion people carry underneath achievement.

It's not because they're trying to expose us. They're responding to what is truly present.

That may be one of the reasons being around horses feels so healing, but also uncomfortable. Some people feel like the horse can look through them and to the other side.

But horses are not judging us. They respond to congruence.

It's as if they're asking:
"Are you truly here?"
"Are you truly where your feet are?"
"Are you truly feeling what you're saying?"
"Is your mind in agreement with your heart?"

08/13/2026

Let the healing energy flow.

Sometimes we walk into the barn carrying things we don’t even realize we’re carrying.

Our minds are racing. Our thoughts are negative. We’re angry, hurt, overwhelmed, afraid, or simply exhausted from life. And when our thoughts are scattered, our actions often follow. What we think about shapes how we move through the world.

I’ve experienced something with my horses that has taught me the importance of stopping long enough to become aware.

There are times I walk into the barn carrying a heaviness, and my horses will stand at a distance. They don’t rush in to fix me. They simply wait.

But when I stop… when I become aware of them… when I acknowledge that they can help me, something changes.

I give myself permission to pause, and I give them permission to be part of the process.

I can feel the energy shift.

I believe horses have an incredible ability to meet us where we are. They can stand beside us in our sadness, our anger, our fear, and our confusion without judgment. Somehow, in their presence, we begin to breathe differently. We become quieter. More aware. More present.

It feels as though they help us release what we have been carrying and make room for something lighter.

Maybe they are doing something to us. Maybe they are simply helping us become aware enough to do something for ourselves.

Either way, we leave different than we arrived.

I’ve watched people walk into my round pen carrying darkness and walk out feeling lighter. More vibrant. More connected to themselves.

And I experience it myself.

But I’ve also learned that I have to stop long enough to receive it.

When my mind is so busy that I don’t pause, I may miss what is right in front of me. The healing may be there, but I’m not present enough to accept it.

That lesson reaches far beyond the horse.

We can do this for ourselves.

Stop.
Breathe.
Become aware of what you are thinking.

Then ask yourself: Is this something I want to carry forward?

Breathe in the good.
Release the fear.
Release the anger.
Release the hurt.
Release the doubt.

Let healing energy flow into you, through you, and out of you.

Because when we change what is happening inside of us, something changes in what happens next.

Our thoughts become our actions.

So if we fill our minds with fear, anger, and negativity, our actions will often follow.

But when we create space for hope, gratitude, love, peace, and healing, our actions can follow that energy too.

Maybe that is one of the gifts our horses give us.

They remind us to stop.

To breathe.

To become present.

To let go of what no longer serves us.

And to make room for what can heal us.

Sometimes the first step toward healing isn’t doing more.
It’s becoming still enough to receive what’s already waiting for us.

Living life One Neigh at a Time
~ Kathy Slagter

07/21/2026

Don’t let empathy rob people of experiencing the consequences of their actions.

Empathy is a beautiful gift, but sometimes it can lead us to step in too quickly.

It’s easy to see someone in pain and want to help them get to the other side. We want to ease their suffering, solve the problem, or carry part of the burden. But sometimes pain is the very thing that teaches the lesson.

A friend of mine once said, “Don’t be quicker than God.” Those words have stayed with me.

Too often, we rush to rescue before we pause to ask whether this is ours to carry. Offering support, encouragement, or helping someone think through their next step is an act of kindness. But that doesn’t mean we have to become responsible for taking that step with them.

When we insert ourselves into someone else’s struggle, we may unintentionally prevent them from experiencing the growth that comes from working through it themselves. Their consequences are often their greatest teacher.

So where in your life are you stepping into someone else’s problem?

What would happen if, instead of pouring all of your energy into rescuing them, you redirected some of that care toward yourself? By stepping back, you create space for them to discover their own strength, their own wisdom, and their own next step.

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is stand beside someone—not in front of them. ~ Living life One Neigh at a Time ~ Kathy Slagter

06/17/2026

Were Entirely Ready to Have God Remove All These Defects of Character

At first, I struggled with the word defect. I didn't like thinking of any part of my character as defective. Over time, however, I came to understand that these traits are not necessarily bad in themselves. Sometimes our tough, rough, protective parts developed for a reason. They helped us survive difficult situations.

The problem is not that these parts exist. The problem is how we use them.

When I am hurt, afraid, angry, resentful, or grieving, I can misuse those parts of myself. I can become rude, mean, impatient, irresponsible, blunt, or harsh. Instead of dealing with my own pain, I may aim it toward someone else—a family member, a friend, a stranger on the road, or even the dog that happens to be nearby. Many of us learned to push our emotions away rather than process them.

As alcoholics and addicts, we often used substances to change the way we felt. Now, in recovery, we are learning to rely on something different: awareness, honesty, acceptance, and inner strength. We are learning to pause and ask ourselves, What am I really feeling? Where did this begin? Why am I reacting this way?

Today, when one of my character defects shows up, I don't always recognize it immediately. But I am getting better. Recovery has taught me to slow down, process the hurt, anger, fear, or grief, and move through it instead of stuffing it down. Once I get to the other side of the emotion, I can usually see where I misused that part of myself. Sometimes I need to make an amends—not necessarily for what I said, but for how I said it.

The horses have helped me tremendously with this process. Horses recognize our energy before we ever speak a word. When my energy is high with anger, frustration, or anxiety, they respond to it. When my energy is low with sadness or depression, they notice that too. Their presence helps me become aware of what is happening inside of me. They create a safe space where I can process my emotions, move toward acceptance, and find balance.

Instead of blocking my feelings with alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, anger, or any other escape, I can learn to experience them, understand them, and move through them.

For me, Step Six is not about becoming perfect. It is about becoming willing. It is about recognizing the parts of myself that create problems in my relationships and being willing to let God transform them. At the same time, it helps me recognize the parts of myself that are loving, kind, courageous, and strong.

The more aware I become, the more willing I am to grow. And that willingness is where true change begins.

06/04/2026

Yes!

Hello. Hope you’re ok wherever you are. It’s been so hot here I melted.

05/16/2026

There are moments in life when we are invited to look honestly at the stories we tell ourselves — the quiet beliefs that shape how we love, respond, apologize, stay silent, or shrink to keep peace.

Sometimes those stories are obvious.
Sometimes they are deeply hidden beneath years of trying to be kind, helpful, loving, accommodating, or “easy” for others to be around.

In my work with women, I often create space for those hidden truths to finally come to the surface.

Sometimes that looks quiet and reflective.
Sometimes it looks emotional and raw.

Clients may stand firmly grounded and speak their truth out loud. Some scream into the wind. Some cry. Some use movement or physical release — pounding safely against a padded surface with a tennis racket — allowing years of pressure, pain, anger, fear, or self-abandonment to finally move out of the body.

Not as violence.
Not as loss of control.
But as release.

Because so many people spend years holding everything in:

• swallowing words,
• silencing hurt,
• carrying tension,
• minimizing pain,
• trying to keep everyone else comfortable.

Eventually that pressure has to go somewhere.

And often, underneath all the emotion, there are lies that have quietly taken root:

• “My feelings don’t matter.”
• “I have to keep everyone happy.”
• “If someone leaves, it must be my fault.”
• “I should stay quiet to keep the peace.”
• “Love means sacrificing myself.”

As those lies begin to release, something powerful happens:
The truth finally has room to rise to the surface.

And that is where healing begins.

05/08/2026

Death by Su***de is a mental health disease,
i understand dedicates themselves to supporting and loving those that have been pulled into the turmoil surrounding the side of the disease, please connect and join this loving community, because they understand 💖

💗💚It’s Mental Health Awareness Month!

This month we are moving beyond awareness and into action! We will be showing up for our community in meaningfulways.

All month long, we’ll be sharing the different ways we’re supporting, connecting, and creating space for healing.

🤗But this month isn’t just about what we’re doing… it’s about YOU, too.

👉What are you doing for your own mental wellness?

💗Whether it’s something big or small, taking a walk, reaching out to a friend, setting a boundary, or simply giving yourself a moment to breathe or going for a relaxing massage, we want to hear.

👟Drop it in the comments or share your story. You might inspire someone else to take that first step.

💝All month long, we will be watching for comments on how YOU are taking care of yourself. One lucky winner randomly chosen will get a $100 self-care kit!! It could be YOU, so share below or on any of our posts!

05/07/2026

That’s why we are here, to love and be loved.

05/07/2026

One Neigh at a Time Reflection 🐴

Horses do not spend their energy trying to prove they are right.
They respond to energy, pressure, fear, softness, and trust.

As humans, when we feel hurt or called out, our instinct is often to defend ourselves. We put up our dukes, shut down, lash out, or try to make the other person wrong so we can feel safe again.

But healing asks us to do something different.

A horse teaches us that tension creates more tension. Pressure creates resistance. And when fear takes over, connection gets lost.

Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is pause long enough to look at our own part with honesty and compassion.

What was my tone?
What energy did I bring into this moment?
Was I trying to connect… or control?
Was I trying to be understood… or simply trying to win?

Awareness is where healing begins.

And then comes the amends — taking responsibility without blame, excuses, or “buts.” Just honesty. Just ownership.

Not every relationship will mend.
Not every hurt disappears overnight.
But grace has a way of softening even the hardest places in us when we are willing to stay open and learn.

One Neigh at a Time, we learn to respond instead of react.
To soften instead of strike.
To lead with awareness instead of fear.

And that changes everything.
~ Kathy Slagter