04/25/2026
https://theonion.com/regulars-angry-dive-bar-now-popular-enough-to-be-financially-solvent/
COLUMBIA, MO—Growing increasingly irate that the new customer base had actually made the place profitable, regulars of local dive bar The Drunken Rooster were reportedly upset Friday after the business had become popular enough to be financially solvent. “This place used to be cool and undergrou...