Cole Wellness

10/14/2026

Most people I see in my office aren't struggling because life is hard. They're struggling because they're out of order.

I call it the order of operations.

Just like math, if you follow the basic order you get a valid answer. If you don't, you won't.

The first order is staying connected to source. You have to stay connected to something greater than yourself. Something that spiritually fills your cup and overflows into everything below it.

When you're connected to something greater you can then connect with your primary relationship. That overflows into family, into friends, into work, into hobbies and all the other wonderful gifts of this life.

Get out of order and you lose focus. Lose focus and you start prioritizing everyone else first. And that will invariably lead to tension, frustration, and a power struggle.

Here's my order of operations.

Level one is source. Staying connected to God.
Level two is my partner.
Level three is family.

Below that comes work, friends, and below that is everything else.

Today write out your own order of operations and let it help guide your focus.

What have you been focused on lately that may be out of order?

Have a great day.

10/12/2026

10/09/2026

What do I need to let go of today?

Expectations. Fear. Resentment. Negativity.

None of these serve me well. They only lead to disappointment. They are thought patterns focused entirely on what I don't want — and carrying them guarantees more of the same.

By letting go of these barriers I open space for something better. Spontaneity. Faith. New perspectives. Optimism.

Fear is the common thread running through everything I don't want to carry. And here's what I've learned — when I can let go of fear, confidence and contentment follow. Every time.

Sit with this today: what do you need to let go of?

Have a great day.

09/25/2026

Our ego is the enemy. And it shows up at precisely the worst possible moments.

Ryan Holiday defines ego in his book Ego is the Enemy as the enemy of what we want and of what we currently have. That the ego is defensive precisely at the times and in the ways that we need it not to be.

This hit me hard this week because I see it in myself and in my clients constantly.

The ego is the exact thing that will hear a single word or phrase out of your partner's mouth and immediately lock in on it. It decides that this is precisely the hill it's going to die on today. And it launches into defending that position and protecting you from a perceived threat it created entirely on its own.

The truth is nothing major is actually happening. But the ego doesn't know that. It's trying to protect you from things that haven't even happened yet.

So if you find yourself getting reactive and defensive — stop. Breathe. Take a moment to relax and ask yourself — what do I appreciate about this person, this situation, or this experience?

We have to intervene and redirect that energy before it builds momentum and becomes self destructive.

Appreciation and humility are the antidote to ego.

The ego always fights hardest when it's needed the least. Instead of letting it run your life — learn to recognize it before it costs you something major.

Have a great day.

09/24/2026

No one is coming to save you.

Before you freak out about that — hear me out for a second.

A lot of people hear that saying and immediately think — I'm stuck figuring this out on my own. That's not completely true.

Let me nerd out on some Harry Potter for a minute.

In The Prisoner of Azkaban Harry spends part of the story excitedly anticipating this vision he saw of what he believed to be his dad showing up to save his life. He waits and waits. And at the last possible moment — nobody comes.

That's when he realizes it's actually his future self that has to show up.

The truth is it's really the same for us.

We spend most of our lives waiting around for somebody to show up and save us. When the real gift is becoming the person who can show up and save yourself. Becoming the person who can actually overcome the challenges you're facing.

In our own stories we get to be both the antagonist and the protagonist. We are our greatest enemy and our greatest ally.

It is on us to show up for ourselves.

One last thought — what if the reason you can so vividly envision the future you want — the money, the relationship, the family, all of it — what if the reason you can see it so clearly is because your future self is already preparing you for it?

All you need to do is trust yourself and keep going.
The person you've been waiting for is the person you're becoming.

Have a great day.

09/22/2026

Habit building is about momentum. And your bad habits already have a head start.

Bad habits reward you quickly. Healthy habits have a more delayed sense of gratification. That's precisely why bad habits are easier to develop and harder to break.

It can take months of healthy eating to build the habit. One weekend of mindless eating can break it.

But here's what changes if you keep going — momentum starts to build. And momentum changes everything.

Just like riding a bike. As you build speed balancing gets easier. The bumps in the road don't affect you quite as much. And more importantly — once you find a little balance you can actually start enjoying the ride instead of just focusing on staying upright.

That's the tipping point.

When the healthy habit has built enough momentum that instant gratification can't shake you from it anymore.

So keep going.

Because once you build enough momentum it becomes extremely difficult for anything to disrupt those healthy habits.

Have a great day.

09/17/2026

The quality of your relationships is directly proportional to how effective your communication is.

In the same way a muscle can't work properly if the communication between your brain and that muscle is impaired — a relationship can't function properly when communication breaks down.

Think about an electrical system. It's resistance that slows down the signal. In communication that resistance shows up as disagreements, differing points of view, dishonesty, deceit — and sometimes just a lack of clarity on our own part.

Here's the important piece though — communication is a two way street. But you can't control what the other person does. You can't rely solely on them.

It is your job to get clear about what you're actually trying to communicate.

Pay attention to your own resistance. Where are you disagreeing? Where are you unwilling to see another person's point of view? Where is anger, jealousy, or prejudice getting in the way of you being able to communicate what's actually going on with you?

Take the time to figure out what you actually want to say.

Then say it directly. And say it with kindness.

Have a great day.

09/14/2026

Most men don't really know who they are outside of what they do.

When asked "tell me about yourself" most men answer with what they do for a living, their marital status, or their role as a parent.

Those are things you do and roles you play. Not who you are.

Who you are is created by your mindset, the words you choose, and the actions you take while playing those roles.

Father is not who you are. It describes a role you play.
Kind or rude. Honest or dishonest. Thorough or half ass. Disciplined or undisciplined. Consistent or inconsistent. Lighthearted or serious.

Those describe who you are.

Here's a challenge — ask yourself how would my coworkers, my partner, and my family describe me right now? What words would they use?

Who you really are is most simply reflected in how others speak of you. It's also reflected in how you choose to speak of others.

Knowing yourself better isn't just about knowing what you do.

It's about taking the time to honestly assess how you are doing it.

Have a great day.

09/13/2026

Self sabotage is not just a character flaw. It's a habit. And habits can be changed.

Self sabotage is just your brain resorting to familiar patterns it's been running for a long time. It defaults to these patterns even when they consciously don't serve you. That's a sign your mind is undisciplined and running on autopilot.

Here are three things you can do to stop it.

1. Awareness.
Get honest about the fact that you're doing it. You can't change what you won't acknowledge. Ask yourself — where do I keep getting in my own way? Where do I keep practicing stories I don't want to occur? You end up so focused on avoiding the bad thing that you actually create it and sabotage yourself.

2. Change the story you tell yourself about yourself.
Self sabotage is almost always rooted in an old belief. A belief that no longer serves you. Find the belief underneath the behavior and challenge it.

3. Take one small aligned action in the direction you actually want to go.
Instead of focusing all of your energy on what you don't want to create — focus on what you do want and make one small move in that direction. You don't need a perfect plan. You just need to move in the right direction immediately.

Self sabotage loses its power the moment you start to see it clearly.

Have a great day.

08/19/2026

Sometimes it just gets exhausting.

Wake up. Get the kids ready. Get them to school. Go to work. Work all day. Get off work. Get groceries. Cook dinner. Get homework done. Get them to bed.

Rinse. Wash. Repeat.

Over and over and over again.

And hardly any of us are stopping to catch a sunset or a sunrise. We're not slowing down to actually enjoy the gift of the life we've been given. Running around worried about the dumbest stuff.

What is really important to you?

What do you want to be remembered for? The money, the cars, the degrees, the stuff? Or how you enjoyed yourself. How you inspired others. How you made people feel. The experiences you got to witness while you were here.

Did you laugh? Did you cry? Did you get passionate about things?

Or did you just watch the news and be a good little boy — scared, upset, and angry at all your neighbors because they don't think or believe or act the way you want them to. Did you go buy all the products they designed to make you feel a little better about the life you're not really enjoying — just to distract you from how unhappy you really are.

Are you exhausted because this stuff is worth giving all of your energy to?

Or is it exhausting because deep down you know it's all pointless.

The only thing that really matters is that you are alive. You have breath in your lungs. And there is still time.

Still time to laugh. Still time to hold hands. Still time to enjoy a sunset. Still time to be with the people you actually want to be with and experience everything this life has to offer.

Are you exhausted or are you just tired of playing the pointless games they keep putting in front of us?

I know I'm ready for more.

Focus on the beauty. Not the busy.

Have a wonderful day.