08/14/2026
WEEKEND SAFETY BRIEF
Alright, listen up. It’s Friday. The end of day is here, the beer is cold, and your judgment is already packing a rucksack for the weekend. Before you scatter like roaches, we are going to cover the standard “don’t die and don’t get me a phone call from the MP desk” brief.
1. Alcohol
Yes, you may drink. No, you may not drink like it’s your last night on Earth and then decide you’re “basically fine” to drive.
If your BAC is high enough that your battle buddy starts looking attractive… stop. Hydrate, eat something that isn’t pure grease, and Uber/Lyft/taxi/battle buddy.
Drunk + vehicle = career su***de with extra paperwork. Drunk + barracks + stupid ideas = same result, just louder.
Remember: the only thing that should be blacked out this weekend is your phone when you’re trying to text your ex.
2. Driving
Speed limits exist for a reason. That reason is not “suggestions for people who think they’re in a Fast & Furious sequel.”
Seatbelts. Every. Single. Time. I don’t care if you’re only going to the gas station. The laws of physics do not care about your rank or your “I was only going 5 over” story.
Motorcycles: if you own one, wear the gear. Looking cool in a hospital bed is harder than you think.
3. Weapons
If you take a personal weapon home, treat it like it’s loaded, because it is until you personally verify otherwise.
No cleaning it while drinking. No “showing it off” at the party. No clearing it by the window “just to check.”
Your rifle does not need a weekend pass. Leave it locked up or leave it in the arms room where it belongs.
4. PT & Physical Shenanigans
Trying to PR your deadlift after six beers is how you discover new and exciting ways to rupture things that should stay inside your body.
Pickup basketball, flag football, or “just wrestling for fun” at 0200 after the bar closes is a great way to show up Monday with a profile and a very unimpressed provider.
5. Relationships & Decision-Making
If you wouldn’t do it in front of the First Sergeant, don’t do it.
That includes texting, Snapchatting, or “accidentally” ending up somewhere you shouldn’t.
Consent is mandatory. Sobriety helps with that. Your phone camera is not your friend when you’re impaired.
6. General “Don’t Be That Guy” Guidance
Barracks parties: keep it contained. The CQ is not your personal bouncer, and the MPs do not have a sense of humor after 0200.
Social media: if you post it, assume the entire chain of command, your mom, and that one guy from basic will see it.
Animals: do not adopt a dog/cat/lizard/python because you were drunk and lonely. The barracks is not a zoo.
Fireworks, open flames, and “I saw this on TikTok”: NO!
Bottom line:
Come back Monday in one piece, with the same rank you left with, and without any new tattoos in places that require a mirror and flexibility to see.
Have a good weekend. Stay safe. Don’t do anything that requires me to write a sworn statement.
Any questions?
…Didn’t think so.
Dismissed.
Now get out of my formation before I invent more rules.
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