02/01/2024
Go straight through it… The hardest loss to embrace is yourself… at least a version of yourself you were for so long.
Something we don’t often talk about is integration that happens over time… if you’re training and racing… true adaptations to your muscles during recovery in the days and random moments after the activities…
Similarly with the personal transformation journey… which for me, happens to coincide with my trailrunning and racing… so on any given race, I’m not listening to headphones, choosing what to accept about myself and choosing what to release and let go… all while in a multi-hour runners high…
And, then, just like our muscles adapt and contract over time… so does our mind, body, soul and emotions…
I woke up during the night around 3-4 am after my race and walked outside along a rushing river under the stars … and balled my eyes out… continuing to say bye to parts of myself holding back my new beginning.
And the floodgates opened again during my 3 hour drive home Sunday… And that’s completely normal.
Physical adaptions require muscle contractions, ice therapy, rollers, etc… emotional and spiritual adaptations require tears, self-love and acceptance, journaling, rest … and surprisingly also extra water.
Anyway, just want to normalize that growth is messy and isn’t a straight path. It’s hard when so much of starting anything new is THROUGH letting go past versions of ourself and past mindsets.
Therefore, its not by just trying harder as the world often preaches, but by also creating moments to feel, heal and say goodbye to what isn’t serving us, so we can fully step into the new.
Much of my time has been spent cutting cords to the past and you’ll be seeing much more of the new soon…
Just want to say that facing and accepting and then releasing the past parts of you that were trying to protect you (based on past trauma) is just important or more… than charging into the new.
The path to the new is cleared only by learning the lessons of releasing our past… through the art of ultra… in the shadows and the dark.