09/01/2026
I walk Teddy daily on a path at a park that surrounds several different sports fields along the way.
Years ago, one of the really little kids kicked a soccer ball that came flying across the path and hit Teddy. He's only a 12-pound bichon, so that soccer ball was pretty big compared to him, and I'm sure it hurt.
That happened years ago.
Yet every time when we are close to that particular field and there are little kids playing, or he hears that noise of a ball being kicked, Teddy’s behavior changes.
He starts scanning the field. Looking all around. I believe he’s assessing if he's safe. Sometimes he keeps walking. Sometimes he looks up at me. Sometimes he pulls way out into the grass to avoid even the possibility of getting hit again.
His body remembers.
As I watched this happen with him, I realized how often the same thing happens with us.
🔸A leader gets criticized in front of others.
🔸An employee speaks up and gets shut down.
🔸Someone takes a risk that doesn't go well.
The event may be long over, but the body remembers.
Then we wonder why people hesitate to speak up, avoid difficult conversations, or seem resistant to change.
We see the behavior. We don't always see the story behind it.
Watching Teddy also reminded me what leadership looks like.
🔸I don't drag him past the soccer field.
🔸I don't tell him he's overreacting.
🔸I stay beside him.
🔸I reassure him.
If he walks right by the field, I celebrate it.
If he needs to walk wide through the grass that day, I support him there too.
Either way, we keep moving forward.
And somewhere along that walk, it hit me.
👣This is the way in.
So often we try to push people toward better performance, better communication, or greater confidence.
But maybe the way in is something different.
Sometimes the way in is curiosity instead of assumptions.
Sometimes it's a conversation instead of silence.
Sometimes it's creating connection so people know they aren't facing it alone.
Sometimes it's simply showing care until they believe it's safe enough to try again.
Because people rarely grow when they're forced.
They grow when they feel safe enough to take the next step.