05/25/2026
Regretfully, I hate to admit that until a few years ago, I was a part of the "Thank you soldiers for the 3 day weekend," camp (which is a slight understatement, but you get the picture). I was generally aware that soldiers gave their lives to fight for our country, but I always got Veterans Day and Memorial Day confused. As I've come to find out, it hits different when you 𝘬𝑛𝘰𝑤 someone.
When I was growing up, I had heard talk that my grandmother and her 4 sisters had a brother, but I had always heard of the sisters being referred to as the Fab Five, and that was pretty much it. I was in my late teens/early twenties when I remember hearing a building was named after him on MSU's campus. I thought "how cool that a part of my family was honored that way," but I didn't really understand the significance until later.
My dad called me several years ago telling me the story of his Uncle Thane who died in WWII, and how out of the blue, someone in the Netherlands contacted him about "Their soldier." The community this delightful woman and her family are a part of actually have an entire cemetery dedicated to the fallen American soldiers that died giving their lives, not just for our freedom, but for theirs, and this community honors them every year. They have a massive celebration on the eve of our Memorial Day, but even more incredible to me, they have families that adopt graves to care for throughout the year - not just on Memorial Day. They even have a book about the fallen soldiers in their cemetery and the stories they've heard about them (second picture). The reverence these people have for our fallen soldiers is like nothing I have witnessed.
Since then, Memorial Day has taken on a new significance for me. I feel convicted thinking about celebrating a 3 day weekend without honoring our fallen soldiers like the people of the Netherlands do. It causes me to wonder what other communities around the world are celebrating in such a fashion that we're unaware of that our celebrations pale to in comparison.
Lansing State Journal published an article this past Sunday (third picture) written about an interview done with my Aunt Rita, Thane's youngest, and only living sister, and Rob O'Brien, who is in production of The Adopted Documentary highlighting the relationship between our family and our found family in the Netherlands bringing honor to our fallen soldiers. I couldn't read it through out loud to my kids without choking up and holding back tears, with my second asking me "Mom, why are you crying, is it happy tears?" Gratitude, reverence, awe, and other emotions I have yet to find words for, are the swirl inside that continues to come up every time I think about the deGraaf family, my great uncle, and the connecting we now have.
It hits different when you 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘.
