10/16/2026
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.” — Luke 15:20
Notice what the father did not do. He did not follow his son into the far country with more money. He did not pay off the pig farmer or explain the whole thing away to the neighbors.
He let him go. And he never stopped watching the road.
If someone you love is drinking or using, you may be carrying a quiet guilt about saying no. It can feel unchristian. It isn’t. A boundary is a decision about what you will do: “I won’t give you cash anymore. I will buy groceries, and I will pay for treatment directly if you want it.” “You can’t be here when you’ve been using. You can call me any time.”
That is not abandonment. Abandonment walks away. A boundary steps out of the way of the harm, and stays close enough to run when they turn toward home.
Two things a boundary never does: it never takes naloxone out of the house, and it never asks you to stay somewhere you are not safe.
You need support too. Learn to Cope, Al-Anon, and Nar-Anon all meet families where they are. So does your pastor.
Our new article walks through the difference between helping and enabling, what a good boundary sounds like, and what to do when it gets tested.
If you or someone you love needs help now: call 911 in an emergency, call or text 988, or call the Massachusetts Substance Use Helpline at 800-327-5050.
https://marktwelverecovery.org/articles/boundaries-are-not-abandonment
Educational content only; not medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Learn to set healthy boundaries to support loved ones with addiction without enabling their behavior. Discover the difference between helping and enabling.