10/03/2022
Some great advice here about how we can use declarative language to help those with social communication challenges to thrive!
𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄. 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬.
As you use declarative language, I am sure you have noticed that it does not always work as you hoped. For example, maybe you say, “Oh look! Grandma is here!” and your child doesn’t respond. Or, you say – “Huh! I see some dirty clothes on the floor” and your child looks toward them but doesn’t put them in the hamper as you wished they would.
I want you to know this is okay – and expected.
Although declarative language gives kids opportunities to infer, make decisions, and problem solve, it should never be about “getting” kids to do something. Kids gradually assuming more responsibility and engaging authentically with others are often the natural results of declarative language, but these things should not be our focus. Especially when getting started.
Instead, our first goal is to g͟i͟v͟e͟. That’s it.
We want to use Declarative Language to:
-Help kids become aware of information that they may not notice otherwise.
-Positively guide them on what to do when they are unsure.
-Support them to join something in a way that feels comfortable to them.
-Gain an awareness and appreciation for who they are as learners and communicators.
So, when you make a declarative statement and it seems to fall flat, what can you do next?
It’s easy once you get in the habit: 𝐺𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒!
Make another declarative statement that further guides, provides information, share memories or future plans, or that helps the individual feel comfortable. And, enlist 𝑐𝑜-𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 to create partnerships.
Again -- when you are stuck, always give more. 𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 don’t default to asking questions such as “What should you be doing right now?”. These types of statements try to “get”, rather than give.
Here are some examples of how to scaffold a declarative statement, where you continue to give and guide, using more DL statements and/or co-regulation:
“Oh look! Grandma is here!” ….. (wait 10 seconds for processing time) …. 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑎𝑦 ℎ𝑖, 𝑤𝑎𝑣𝑒, 𝑜𝑟 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑎 ℎ𝑢𝑔. 𝑊𝑒 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑤𝑎𝑙𝑘 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑑 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒.
“I see some dirty clothes on the floor” … (wait a few seconds for processing time) … 𝑖𝑓 𝑤𝑒 𝑝𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑚𝑝𝑒𝑟, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦’𝑙𝑙 𝑏𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑜𝑛 𝑙𝑎𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑟𝑦 𝑑𝑎𝑦. 𝐿𝑒𝑡’𝑠 𝑑𝑜 𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝑎 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑚. 𝐼’𝑙𝑙 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑠 𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ 𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑚 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑡𝑜𝑠𝑠 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑛!
“I’m wondering if you have math homework tonight” … (wait to allow for processing time) … 𝐼 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟. 𝐿𝑒𝑡’𝑠 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟.
These are just some examples to get you started thinking in this way. The important thing to remember, is to use a combination of declarative statements and co-regulation to find that just right balance of giving, guiding, and partnership.
This idea is SO important to all of what we are creating, that I’ll focus on it next Sunday too. Come back then for visuals capturing this concept and examples!
Have a great week!
