Hollingsworth Consulting

06/16/2026

Last week, I had the incredible opportunity to provide a keynote at WebMD Health Services’ Empower 2026! This annual gathering (held this year in the gorgeous Utah mountains) brings together HR, benefits, and wellbeing leaders from the nation’s largest organizations for two days of inspiration, connection, and strategy-building.

Everything about this event shimmered with excellence and vitality. WebMD Health Services and their clients share a palpable dedication to putting wellbeing at the very heart of organizational purpose and leadership effectiveness. They are transforming human lives across our nation's workforce, and it's a beautiful thing to behold.

In my keynote, “Radical Self-Compassion: Your Leadership Superpower in Uncertain Times,” I challenged attendees to rethink how they respond to the stress and suffering that comes with living (and leading) in an uncertain and often volatile world. The core message was this: Your ability to show up strong for yourself, and your ability to show up strong for others, are intrinsically interlinked. Through stories, science, and interactive experiences, attendees gained practical tools for navigating challenges and setbacks with greater resilience, perspective, and confidence.

I want to thank CEO John Harrison for his warmth, authenticity, and strong-yet-strategic leadership presence. To Amanda Lasko, thank you for entrusting me with such an important piece of this event you planned and executed so masterfully. And to Michael Gottesman and Gotham Artists, it's ever a delight to partner with you!

Finally, to Tony Benjamin- MBA, PHR and Steven J. Smith, SHRM-CP, PHR – it was so wonderful to connect with two of my very favorite people in HR over some delicious pizza, with lots of laughter. Thankful for our friendship, and looking forward to seeing you at Work Elevated this fall!

06/12/2026

A few weeks ago, the New York Times* did a write-up about a scene in Season 2 of The Pitt. Joy Kwon, a third-year medical student, clocks out at the end of her 12-hour shift. After some pressure from a colleague to stay, she waltzes out the door and says, “Maybe all you lunatics need to learn how to set some boundaries.”

Apparently, this scene set off a flurry of online controversy amongst health care professionals—with some hailing Kwon a hero for modeling common-sense boundaries, and others viewing her decision as rash and selfish.

I found this whole debate fascinating because I’ve been thinking about the connection between boundaries (or lack thereof) and burnout for a long time. And the deeper I study it, the more convinced I am that hammering this monochrome message, “You need better boundaries!!” might be part of the problem.

In systems that teach people to internalize the belief that they must constantly push past personal limits, say yes beyond capacity, and provide dedication through exhaustion, something else is needed beyond lectures about clocking off on time and taking more bubble baths.

Read my newsletter to find out what it is. 👇
https://hollingsworthconsulting.com/stop-saying-you-need-better-boundaries-ask-this-instead/

* NYT piece referenced: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/05/11/style/the-pitt-joy-kwon-irene-choi-work-life-balance.html

06/08/2026

When I was working on my PhD in Chicago, neuroscientist Jean Decety and his team at U of C published some fascinating research showing that ED physicians have decreased activation in the brain centers that process empathy, as compared to non-doctors. Why?

Here’s the hypothesis: The doctors have learned to downregulate (dampen) their pain empathy response, in order to, as the researchers put it, “free up cognitive resources necessary for being of assistance.”*

It’s not that the doctors don’t care - they never would've gone into emergency medicine if they didn't. It’s that they know caring too much is going to get in the way of being helpful.
Care, don't carry.

There's a profound lesson here for today's leaders. Amidst stress, uncertainty, and change: YES, create a safe container for your team, everyone you lead - to process the hard stuff. But NO, do NOT, yourself, be the container – don’t take that on. No one will be helped if your compassion results in you drowning in someone else’s emotional mire.

Now, perhaps you're an empathic leader (the best tend to be). And maybe you're thinking, "sounds great, I should care, not carry. HOW IN THE HECK DO I DO THAT? I'M A BORN EMPATH - I SHOULDER OTHER'S BURDENS BETTER THAN A DARN CAMEL!

If that's you, here's what I want to say to you. First - I feel you. I'm an empath, too. Second, the key to "caring without carrying" is to radically accept what's within, and outside your power, as a caring leader. Here's what I mean...

Within Your Power:
* Inward boundaries. Remind yourself, "I'm a supporter, not a savior."
* Relaying facts with candor. "Not everything is clear yet, let me spell out what is."
* Creating a case for change: "What are benefits of this change? What are the consequences if we do not lean into this new operating model?"
* Supportive queries and compassionate listening: "What's the hardest part of this change? What do you need from me, as your leader?"

Outside Your Power:
* Big feelings: There will be overwhelm, grief, frustration, and anxiety.
* Conflicts: There will be conflicting priorities, perspectives, and values.
* Ongoing discomfort: There will be ambiguity, loss, and disruption to everyday workflows.
* Personal impact: There may be changes to your own life and career.

To care, but not carry, we need to release our mental and emotional grip on things outside our control (including the inevitability of negative emotions). And we need to own and dig deeply into, the things we can do.

* Jean Decety, Chia-Yan Yang, and Yawei Cheng, “Physicians Down-Regulate Their Pain Empathy Response: An Event-Related Brain Potential Study,” NeuroImage 50, no. 4 (2010): 1676-1682; Omar Sultan Haque and Adam Waytz, “Why Doctor’s Should be More Empathic – But Not Too Much More,” Scientific American (April 26, 2011).

06/02/2026

How hard are you on yourself—really?

From the outside, high-achieving people often look like they’re holding it all together. But internally? So many are running on pressure, perfectionism, self-doubt, and an inner voice that never quite lets them rest. The exhaustion becomes normal. The constant need to prove yourself becomes normal. Even the fear that if you slow down, everything might fall apart starts to feel normal.

I know that place well. For a long time, what looked like ambition was actually fueled by fear, relentless self-criticism, and maladaptive perfectionism. Eventually, it caught up with me. Burnout didn’t just leave me tired; it impacted my health, my relationships, my leadership, and the way I saw myself. Looking back, I sometimes wonder what would have changed if someone had helped me recognize the pattern earlier. If someone had asked me what I was so afraid of. If I had understood sooner that the answer wasn’t pushing harder, it was learning how to relate to myself differently.

That’s why I created this free, 5-minute assessment:
How Hard Are You On Yourself—Really?

Most people don’t realize how much the way they speak to themselves in difficult moments shapes their confidence, resilience, relationships, and overall well-being. The assessment is designed to help you get honest clarity on whether perfectionism is supporting you… or working against you.

You do not have to wait until burnout takes something from you before you pay attention. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is pause long enough to tell yourself the truth.

So, what would change if you stopped seeing “pushing through” as strength and started recognizing self-compassion as one of the bravest things you can practice?

https://hollingsworthconsulting.typeform.com/how-hard?typeform-source=hollingsworthconsulting.com

05/30/2026

05/30/2026

PSA: In addition to being a global compassion expert, I am also a “crazy cat lady.” 🐱 As evidenced by my new… wait for it…

CAT STROLLER 😂

On last night’s maiden voyage, Missy’s and Daffy’s everloving feline minds were sufficiently blown 🤯, and I laughed my way through the neighborhood at how shamelessly and gleefully I seem to have embraced, well, cat-doting. (There’s really no other word for it.)

After all. One can’t spend ALL one’s time thinking about workplace suffering and how leaders can help alleviate it. Sometimes one just needs to forget about all that and push furballs through the neighborhood in a retrofitted baby buggy. Apparently. 😳🤣

05/27/2026

There is something deeply human about making a mess, and children seem to understand this instinctively, a sense many adults eventually forget. In Danish forest kindergartens, children spend their days outdoors building forts, climbing trees, digging in mud kitchens, and returning home covered in dirt and rain. The goal is not to keep everything clean, efficient, or perfectly controlled. Educators in these programs understand that creativity, resilience, confidence, and connection often emerge from unstructured, imperfect interactions with the world around us. The mess is not evidence that something has gone wrong; it is often evidence that growth is taking place.

Somewhere along the way, many of us begin believing the opposite. We slowly absorb the idea that growth should look polished, optimized, productive, and emotionally tidy. Therefore, we start seeing struggle, uncertainty, mistakes, and imperfection as problems to eliminate rather than experiences that shape us. As someone who struggles with perfectionism, this has been a difficult lesson for me to learn. I often want things to look organized, sound polished, and come together quickly. But more and more, I am realizing that the messy parts of life are often where the deepest learning happens.

I have been learning this in a new light while supporting my son, Bennett, as he learns electric guitar. Our basement has transformed into his practice space, and honestly, it is not how I would naturally want it to look. Guitar equipment seems to be everywhere. Most days, it does not just look messy; it sounds messy too. There are missed notes, repetition, loud noises, and long stretches that sound nothing like music. It has taken a surprising amount of self-restraint and intentionality for me to step back and allow him the freedom to grow in his own way and in his own space.

But then, occasionally, I will be upstairs cooking dinner, and suddenly I recognize the song drifting up from the basement. In the middle of all the noise and imperfection, something beautiful is taking shape. He is learning. He is growing. And it reminds me how often transformation looks messy before it becomes recognizable.

This reflection became the starting point for my newest newsletter, Embrace the Mess: Humanity in the Age of AI, where I explore what it means to remain deeply human in a culture increasingly obsessed with efficiency, optimization, and perfection. As AI continues to reshape the world around us, I believe one of the most important questions we can ask is not simply what technology can do, but what parts of our humanity we want to protect.

If this resonates with you, you can read the full newsletter and subscribe HERE: https://hollingsworthconsulting.com/ #:~:text=through%20cultures%20of%20accountability%20and%20care.

05/26/2026

Compassionate listening is the profound practice of hearing others with your full presence, aiming to understand their experience and relieve their suffering rather than to judge, defend, fix, save, opine, or retort.

Human bodies and brains have evolved to emotionally co-regulate. This means nothing – no emerging technology, no EAP, no raise or promotion, no public recognition – can replace the simple, humble, and eminently human task of leaders sitting down to really *listen* to people, with curiosity and compassion.

This is especially true when teams are anxious, overwhelmed, frustrated, or confused.

"Love's first task is to listen."
- Paul Tillich

05/18/2026

Ever have a moment where something you learn doesn’t just add to your life, but reshapes the way you understand yourself?

For most of my life, I thought I had myself figured out. I was ambitious, driven, motivated my challenge. And from a young age, nothing felt out of reach. By age 16, I was competing and winning in high-level equestrian competitions, drawn to the intensity and connection that comes from working with a powerful animal, where even the smallest mistake could have big consequences. It demanded focus, discipline, and a willingness to push limits. I thrived in that space.

That energy carried me forward, eventually leading to a tenure track position at Boston University at 34. From the outside, everything looked fine and like it was working. But there was something I hadn’t yet recognized.

Ambition came to me naturally, but compassion (especially self-compassion) did not. I had accepted that it just wasn’t part of who I was. It felt fixed.

Then I learned something that re-routed me: compassion isn’t a fixed personality trait, it’s a skill. Because of neuroplasticity, it can be learned and strengthened with practice, and that realization shifted something in me.

If compassion can be developed, maybe we aren’t as fixed as we think. Maybe the parts of us we’ve written off as ‘just the way I am!’ simply haven’t been given the conditions to change.

I began to understand compassion as not just a feeling, but an action: the willingness to respond to suffering, including my own. And through that practice, my ambition didn’t disappear, but felt softened and more grounded. Less about proving, more about purpose.

It’s freeing to realize we’re not fixed. Not in our patterns, reactions, or even the way we speak to ourselves. Change is possible, especially when compassion is part of the process.
So, if there’s a part of you that feels unchangeable, it might be worth asking whether it’s truly fixed, or whether it simply hasn’t been met with compassion yet.