03/25/2026
What they don't tell you about the Love Languages is that, not only are they likely to change over time, they're far from comprehensive. In fact, I was thinking about it this morning and noticed that they're all five external expressions.
If you can't recall what they are:
1. Physical Affection
2. Acts of Service
3. Quality Time
4. Words of Affirmation
5. Gifts
When I was younger, quality time and physical affection were paramount. While both are still very desirable, I find that the "need" factor is much less.
In fact, finding a partner who honors your time alone for spiritual growth and renewal is a true expression of love.
As our bodies and hormones change, honoring your capacity (or lack thereof) creates safety.
The things your partner does to expand their own world is the sexiest thing ever.
If wisdom really does come with age, you learn that your happiness is not rooted in what others do for you. It's about knowing yourself and being in relationships where those boundaries and wants are articulated and valued, not just in intimate partnerships, but in all your interactions.
It's okay if your desires don't fall under any of these categories anymore. You get to decide what they are -- and what they'll be tomorrow.
