EQ Smarts

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11/01/2024

Second leg of our trip was spent at Iowa Dept. Of Corrections with these amazing humans teaching them about Emotional Intelligence, Profitable Dialogue,and DISC.

It's such an honor - and humbling - to connect and collaborate with such dedicated, heart-driven professionals. Definitely left a piece of my heart in Iowa. ❤️❤️

11/21/2022

Happy Monday! I have this quote on a decorative block sitting on my kitchen window sill.

It speaks to me every day, reminding me that I can make the day as good as I want.

Hope it inspires you today as you get ready for the holidays!

11/14/2022

The Power of Positive Thinking is more than just a nice adage.

Focusing on the positive has an actual physiological effect on our bodies that reverses the stress response and creates all kinds of benefits.

Focusing on:
✔strengths and aspirations
✔our ideal self
✔future goals
✔gratitude
✔offering empathy to others
✔seeking to understand...
..will activate all our feel-good hormones, resulting in a cascade of effects that empower and energize us.

I've been working at replacing negative thoughts with those that trigger the Renewal Response - and it works! Every time.

It takes practice and a bit more effort to switch your thinking but once you do, your brain takes over and the positive cascade begins.

Would love to hear how it's working for you!

11/01/2022

Ever wonder why you or people you know can be so reactive? It's all about the brain trying to keep you safe! Check out the video for insights into the workings of your emotional brain!

10/18/2022

What do you need to unlearn?
I've been working on unlearning my propensity to ruminate.

With my super high Impulse Control, I definitely don't make rash decisions, but the opposite can be true.

Sometimes I end up taking too long to make decisions because I'm hanging out in my head, thinking of all the pros/cons, ramifications, and alternative choices.

Recognizing that it doesn't always serve me well allows me to watch myself for this habit. And then work on countering it, helping me to unlearn.

Anyone else in this boat? What are you working on unlearning these days?

09/18/2022

Park City Balloon Festival on this stellar fall morning. Just a short walk from home. I love the sense of community here in this lovely mountain town.

08/02/2022

Check out my amazing lunch today! Courtesy of my talented chef hubby. That's a stuffed Portobello in the corner. Summer healthy tastiness!

05/18/2022

Happy Spring from Arizona! ☀️🌱

This unusual specimen is my all-time favorite desert plant - the Ocotillo. It only occasionally blooms, mainly in the spring. I love its asymmetry and graceful lines.

The rest of the year it looks like it's dead - no leaves, just brown, spikey branches. Just waiting for the right amount of water to bring it to life.

Kind of like people. All we need sometimes is a little nurturing to realize our hidden potential.

Taking even a moment to offer nurturing support to each other can go a long way to lifting our collective well-being.

Who can you nurture today?

05/14/2022

When we/re really upset or angry what do we typically do? Play the blame game, right? It can come in various forms - lashing out, stewing, brooding, mulling, plotting...

Regardless of the flavor blame takes, it tends to be all about spinning in that negative space.

In reality, the best way to get past the negative emotions and blame is to, instead, focus on what we value or need that's being threatened.

Because all negative emotion is really just an indirect expression of something we value or need that's not happening for us.

If I strongly value respect and my partner speaks to me in a disrespectful way, I will probably feel angry or hurt.

While this person is the trigger of my feelings, they are never the cause. Sound radical?

Maslow's hierarchy is a simplified look at different levels of needs. How strongly we value a need will correlate with how strongly we react.

Tuning into our need is a form of self-empathy. And anytime you offer someone empathy, including yourself, negative feelings dissipate. It's like a magic trick.

So, next time you're triggered, step away from the blame and ask yourself, "What do I value that's being threatened right now?"

The beauty of this is, do it enough and you will start to become less triggered!

You'll also build your self-awareness big time in the process.

Would love to hear of your experiences with turning blame into empathy.

DM me with any questions!

05/05/2022

This is a hard one.

There are many reasons we want to slough off our feelings: denial, fear, discomfort, confusion, etc.

Often when we're feeling really intense negative emotions, we tend to rationalize them through blame. Blame of someone else, a situation or circumstance, the "other" political party and more.

We justify our reactions - and subsequent (sometimes poor) behavior through believing that someone or something else is the cause of our emotional state. It's their fault because they "made" you angry.

In reality, all these external sources are triggers, not causes. And our responses don't come from the trigger. They are born in us.

No matter how justified we may feel, they are in us.

Taking responsibility for our reactions is the first step in owning our feelings - and then being able to choose our response.

It's not about denying how we feel, but stepping back to objectively acknowledge that we are triggered and then work to understand why rather than lash out at the trigger.

And the "why" has to do with what's important to us in that moment. Figuring this out will literally enable you to be less triggered over time - and create HUGE self-awareness.

Stay tuned for my upcoming post to learn how to do just that!

04/26/2022

Most of us go though life with a basic set of words to describe our feelings: happy, sad, frustrated, anxious, mad, etc.

Using such limited descriptors can't reveal the complexity and nuance of emotions, so we fail to fully understand and communicate our real emotional experiences and how they affect us and others.

I might say I'm angry, but in reality I may be very embarrassed. If I'm feeling sad, maybe I'm really disheartened over something or feeling disappointed.

Pinpointing more precisely how we feel greatly increases our self-awareness and then provides a more specific resolution.

It's like tuning into a radio to get a clear signal. Without the static, we can zero in on what we really feel and need. Having a larger emotional vocabulary allows you to understand the nuances of your feelings.

Next time you find yourself experiencing emotions, step back and ask yourself, "Is there a better word to describe this feeling?

Once you find it, you will instantly know. And the more you practice, the more self-aware you'll become!

04/09/2022

I love this picture because it represents me conquering one of my fears - riding river rapids.

We spent 6 hours kayaking on the Green River in Utah - just the two of us, and despite one harrowing moment, I loved every minute of it.

When we venture out, pushing past the fear, magical things can happen, right?! Then we enjoy amazing memories we wouldn't have had if we just stayed focused on the fear.

So many things in life we can apply this to!

What fears have you stared down lately?

Address

Mitchellville, IA
50169

Website

https://www.hptworks.com/

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