09/07/2026
Your child covers their face when someone notices them, talks to them or gives them attention. They don’t like the fussing over, having all eyes on them. For some kids it’s awkward. It diminishes their confidence and can feel embarrassing all at the same time. They don’t like the clapping, the fawning over, the big reactions we often give.
This is a child that likes a more subtle response as compared to the big robust fussing over.
For some young children, being noticed can have strong feelings. It can bring up feeling:
•Embarrassed
•Overwhelmed by attention
•Unsure how to respond
•In need of emotional safety
As parents our tendency is to teach politeness. To teach good manners. “Put your hand down when someone talks to you.” Look at Grandma when she’s talking to you.”
Teaching a new skill is not wrong once we’ve connected and help our child feel safe so they can then connect with others.
“You don’t want to be looked at. That’s okay. Take your time and take a breath.” Our job is to not remove the obstacles but to help them move through the discomfort without forcing them through it. We understand our child’s temperament and give them support. Some kids are inherently cautious and reserved. Connection gives children safety to feel more confident once they’ve been understood.
Confidence isn’t built by telling kids not to be embarrassed or shy. It’s built by helping them discover “I can feel uncomfortable and I can handle it.”
This teaches that their feelings count and they don’t have to perform for others.
“Grandma, Molly likes to give hello kisses in a few minutes. Maybe you two can read a book together first and then Molly can give you a hello kiss.”
Emotional safety +Confidence + Independence = Perseverance
And when they are ready, they can look up, wave, say hello, sing in a group and join because they weren’t pushed and pressured but were understood and taught.
Connection first. Confidence follows.
https://www.growingchangecoaching.com
