Destination Self-Coaching

07/29/2025

To re-embody means teaching the conscious brain to open its heart to the chariot it rides. Somewhere along the way, the brain and body were severed. We began to treat the body—and all the emotions she carries—as if she were just a machine, a car with replaceable parts. We built institutions to facilitate our dreams, and somehow, we simply became prisoners to the institutions.

When people struggle to fit into our programs, we pathologize them and identify “symptoms.” In other words, the rules no longer serve the people—the people serve the rules. All of us are suffering on some level because of this; some are simply more aware of the pain than others.

The dichotomy created by ignoring the nearly 80% of unconscious communication flowing between body and brain is enough to drive a person mad. And the truth is—this split is not random or personal. It is an identifiable, collective trauma. We all live in that space of disconnect, whether we’re aware of it or not.

Nervous system education and awareness is key to our individual and collective re-embodiment and homeostasis. Through this learning, we begin to reunite paradigms that were never meant to be two. We can become—and feel like—human beings again.

May it be fully realized, speedily, in our very days.

07/27/2025

This is an almost impossible time for the nervous system. We need to soften toward ourselves. I believe the main cause of external strife is internal strife. If we can make peace internally, there is almost nothing more to speak of — all else follows.

It appears to me that we don’t need to speak so much about how we treat each other; rather, we need to learn how to treat ourselves. Everything we promote and champion will naturally flow from that peace-making within each individual.

08/18/2024

The culture we were raised in, and how our parents and caretakers handled that culture, all contributed to the unconscious set of beliefs we hold. I just noticed that the word culture itself implies a cult. A practice of nonjudgmental reflection and lots of compassion can slowly help us release the overwhelming burdens we’ve accumulated over our lives. These burdens however, are not our essence, they are the paint job we got from the outside and how we reacted and coped inside. When we live in survival mode we can’t be our true Selves. Most of us live in survival mode and believe it’s just normal. We cannot just choose to leave that programming without inner resistance. That resistance needs to be explored and spoken with, like a child who is scared and confused and needs to know it’s safe to let go.

We are more accustomed to a mentality of making a war of destruction on those “bad” or unhealthy parts of us. We are in a time where the calling is reintegration rather than destruction or abandonment of the darker parts. Now we have the methods and tools to be able to transform the world from within. Each of us contains the entire universe and therefore this work heals the entire cosmos.

07/21/2024

In a culture that rewards emotional disconnection and suppression we have a distorted view of our most primal needs. We are shouldering the burdens of many previous generations and if you’re sensitive enough to it you can feel it palpably . So many dictates we live by have been superimposed on our systems from the outside. The outside that we received from went through that superimposition as well. We’ve all done the very best we could under basically impossible circumstances and somehow we’ve survived. Now there is a calling in our souls to move from surviving into thriving but we must first unburden all that has been suppressed, repressed, and ignored for so long. The first step is awareness, deep awareness and compassion for the journey of the human family. Empathetically becoming aware of our own survival mechanisms will help us understand and witness how we developed such strategies. We will be able to witness the innocence it was born from and how that caused the system to react so strongly to its percived loss. May we have the bravery and compassion to hold space for ourselves and each other through this transformation!

06/19/2024

Any sense of self-worth that is based on comparison to others or accomplishment is based on a faulty foundation. Self-worth must come from a supranational place, a place completely beyond understanding or cause and effect. It’s a place inside that transcends ourselves and our world and yet accompanies us on our journey to it. From that view, Self-worth is intrinsic and beyond dependence on anything else. Healthy Self regard therefore need never be proven or argued for, just embraced!

05/07/2024

By: Gedaliah Aronson

02/18/2024

https://gedaliah.substack.com/p/integrating-internal-family-systems

By: Gedaliah Aronson

01/25/2024

Can we focus on the internal war with parts of ourselves we locked up a long time ago? We are at war with ourselves every day, usually unconsciously. Every war we fight externally mirrors in some manner a war of internal polarization. We don’t like and fear things about ourselves, it is inevitable. These very things we would rather deny, hide, lock away, and ideally destroy within, reflect every war happening in the external world. Not only can we never be rid of these parts of ourselves, but they are the very parts in need of reintegration and redemption. Fighting a war no longer must mean death, destruction, or annihilation, and that begins specifically within. If those of us blessed to not be in a literal war zone right now can be brave enough to go inside with curiosity, compassion, and courage, we can retrieve and redeem our own rejected, protected, protective, and impulsive parts. We may just wake up to a new world without war, and eventually where weapons are completely superfluous.

01/16/2024

Destination Self-Coaching http://www.destination-self.net

01/08/2024

https://fb.watch/prJLal1h7h/?

01/05/2024

https://open.substack.com/pub/gedaliah/p/integrating-internal-family-systems?r=2qesbw&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post

By: Gedaliah Aronson

01/03/2024

Integrating Internal Family Systems with Exposure Response Prevention

By: Gedaliah Aronson

The resistance of fear, and the fear-of-fear, creates a deeper suffering and load on the already frightened place inside of us. The fear, the doubt, and the constant "what ifs" are there and so “solving,” “correcting,” “convincing rationally,” “labeling the fear as bad,” “labeling thoughts as just intrusive,” “preventing thoughts” etc …. these are all actions in service of protection against and “fighting” the fear.

These behaviors are active resistance to fear and other exiled emotions that come with it. Another way of saying this is that these are compulsive behaviors or rituals, the intentions of which are very good: however, they unwittingly put so much more stress on the system. They continue to see the exile’s vulnerable feelings as a threat to be suppressed. As we engage in rituals something extremely counterintuitive happens. The actions we are doing either physically or cognitively provide the opposite of protection for the child. It is the child, the Exile, who bears the burden and pain of being on that hamster wheel and becomes a further nuisance for being afraid.

With Exposure-Response-Prevention done from the compassionate place of Self, we open space for the child to simply be afraid while the protectors learn that it seems they don’t have to rescue. Thinkers, scanners, thought "policers" and other compulsive protectors learn that Self is present to be there for the child in his/her burden. They can start to learn how the strategies they've devised and implemented to protect the system have become hurtful to the child they are trying to protect. The child as well can begin to experience a sense of being, able to handle and contain the fear as opposed to feeling helicoptered, and can begin to feel embraced.