Blended Family Matters Academy

01/12/2026

01/12/2026

JANUARY 12, 2026
SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by MARSHA BURNS
When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Resist the temptation to back off or quit. I am with you to break through every barrier. There is no reward in giving up, but there is great reward in moving forward by the power of My Spirit, says the Lord. I am well able to help you in every situation and bring you through to victory.

2 Corinthians 4:7-10 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed--always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus may be manifested in our body.

01/07/2026

What are you called to do???????

Listen, I had to share this yall! While I know AI can be scary, like most things, it has its pros and cons….

So Hubby and I are having bible study tonight and researching biblical lineage and history of various leaders and significant persons in the bible…. so in addition to reading our word I also use one of ny free assistants (Chat!) to help with quick research that I can then verify/confirm. So I’m asking questions about Moses, and this is part of the research that comes back:

Why Moses Doesn’t Enter the Promised Land

This part is sobering and deeply human.
• Moses disobeys God in anger
• God allows him to see the land, but not enter it
• His assignment ends at the edge of promise

This doesn’t mean Moses failed.
It means his calling was deliverance and formation, not settlement.

Some people are called to break chains, not build cities.

Im like WHHAATTT??? Chat you betta gone head and preach!!!!

HIS CALLING WAS DELIVERANCE AND FORMATION, NOT SETTLEMENT.

SOME PEOPLE ARE CALLED TO BREAK CHAINS, NOT BUILD CITIES. 😳😳😳😳😳

What are you called to do?????? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Moral of the story for me: Don’t be distracted trying to be like or look like someone else…. be focused on seeking God for who He has called you to be so you can do your darnedest to walk in obedience and fulfill the calling on your life. One moment of disobedience caused Moses not to be able to cross over into the promised land after all the hard work he had done to lead God’s people out of bo***ge to it. Or did it really? Cause God knew all along that Moses was called to lead the deliverance and formation season and Joshua was called to lead the settlement season. Whew! I could be up all night talking to God trying to get answers and understanding about this stuff!

12/12/2025

Choose to focus on and find growth….. choose to focus on lemonade not lemons…. Choose to operate from the perspective of the glass being half full, not half empty… this is called adulting yall… and we can all do it IF we CHOOSE to….

12/10/2025

REMINDER:

December 10, 2025

Give yourself a break. There is not one person on the face of the earth that is perfect. So you made a mistake? Forgive yourself and move on. This will certainly not be your last mistake. All you can do is your best at any given time. There are lessons to be learned, one of which is how to forgive yourself and others and move on.

Proverbs 28:13 He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.

12/09/2025

12/08/2025

11/20/2025

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November 20, 2025:

Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns:
You are inching towards breakthrough. It will not be sudden, but will be gradual and lasting. You might not even realize that you are making headway at first. Set your heart and mind to be hopeful and positive. I am leading, guiding, directing and protecting you, says the Lord.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

11/19/2025

Step… or BONUS? Here’s Why It Matters

In our home, we use the word “bonus” instead of “step.”
Not because we’re trying to be cute… but because language carries weight.
“Stepmom” and “stepdad” have always felt heavy to me—like there’s distance, tension, or a wall built in before the relationship even begins.

But bonus?
That speaks life.
It says addition, blessing, extra love, extra support.

And honestly… that’s what being in a blended family is. Every child, every parent, every relationship—it's an addition to what God is building.

Now, let me be clear:
We know a lot of people still use the term “step” because that’s what they grew up hearing, and it’s the language most folks automatically understand.

No judgment. No shade.

But in the Pickens house, when we do need a clarifying title, “bonus” just feels right. It sets a positive tone and reminds us that we’re building connection, not division.

Most days, our kids don’t even use titles.
They just say “this is my mom” or “this is my dad,” regardless of biology.
But when we’re explaining our blended family dynamic, “bonus” reflects the love and honor we’ve worked hard to cultivate.

Blended families aren’t perfect, but the language we choose can either build walls or build bridges—and we’re choosing to build bridges. ❤️

11/16/2025

Marriage is beautiful… but it’s also real work. And when you mix in blended family dynamics—kids you didn’t birth, history you didn’t share, and emotions you didn’t create—those moments can shake the foundation of your home.

In this clip from EP18 of Pickens' Realities & Blended Family Truths™, Jayla and I talk about the day Tyrone packed a bag and said he was done. Not because he didn’t love me, and not because he didn’t love our family… but because the weight of blended family dynamics, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings had pushed him to the edge.

Here’s the truth I want someone to hear:
A healthy marriage requires grown-folk choices, not emotional reactions.

There will be moments when your feelings say “walk away,” but your covenant says, “slow down, breathe, and fight for this.”
Blended families stretch you in ways you don’t expect. You’re learning how to parent together. You’re trying to honor your spouse and still protect your child. You’re navigating perceptions, wounds, and triggers that nobody else sees. And some days… it feels like too much.

But somebody has to choose to stand 10 toes down and say,
“No—we’re not giving up. We’re going to fight for this marriage, and we’re going to get the help we need.”
That choice changed everything for us. When we put God’s Word—not emotions—at the center, that’s when we finally started seeing each other clearly. That’s when healing started. That’s when love became rooted in truth instead of assumptions and pain.

If you’re in a blended family and feel like you’re at your breaking point, hear me: You can come back from this. You can grow through this. You can choose each other again. It takes work, honesty, humility, and God… but it’s possible. We’re living proof.