06/23/2026
Dobbie’s productivity report for today:
✅ Arrived on time
✅ Maintained eye contact with management
✅ Conducted extensive snack quality inspections
✅ Provided emotional support from a seated position
❌ Assisted with cleaning
❌ Lifted a paw to help
❌ Contributed anything other than cuteness
Final evaluation: 11/10 Good Boy, 0/10 Employee. 🐾
Peachy Keen’s Employee of the Month criteria may need some adjustments. 😂