08/24/2026
Surely There’s More to Life Than This
“I’m tired of settling. A house in a neighborhood I don’t really love. A job that bores me. A marriage that’s good. We go to church. We taxi our kids to their sports. Nothing bad in my life … but nothing great.
A pause.
“Is that just selfish? Do you need to tell me to get over myself?”
I could see his disappointment about how this life was turning out.
But it was what his wife said that really got my attention.
“Neither of us likes the neighborhood. We don’t really, even want our kids outside playing. My job brings in a lot of money, but it just doesn’t seem to have any point or meaning. We never fight, but we aren’t together enough to fight.”
Another pause.
“This just isn’t my idea of the American dream!
Am I just not grateful enough? Are we missing something?”
(From my friend in AA. We have a saying in the program “We’re all learning to live life on life’s terms”. That’s why it’s important and ok to pause and take inventory of where we are and what life maybe saying. I call it God, but whatever it is to you or me...you/me/we matter to something far greater than ourselves - that’s wants us free.”)
It might be tempting for some to tell them:
“Be grateful for what you have.”
“Lots of people would love to have your life.”
“Maybe you’re expecting too much.”
Would I say that?
NEVER!
Because desiring more does not necessarily mean we are selfish or ungrateful.
I didn’t hear selfishness in either of them.
What I DID hear was a longing and yearning for MORE. And many of us have that. I certainly have.
I remember when I was fresh out of graduate school and finally had enough clients to quit my waitressing job. I thought life would become WONDERFUL at that point.
I’d worked so hard to get there. I was doing what I had trained to do. I should have been thrilled.
And I was grateful.
But at the same time, I found myself aching deep inside. I wanted to have a greater impact.
I KNEW I was called to help people heal and live fulfilling lives—even after trauma, divorce, church hurt, betrayal, and financial devastation.
I tried to stuff that longing and simply be more grateful. But the more I stuffed it, the harder my heart seemed to beat for the people who needed help.
Eventually, that longing for MORE led me to establish inpatient and outpatient treatment centers. Some of the greatest days of my life occurred during those years.
Until …
The next longing for MORE came.
For years, the challenge for me was that I had no one to assure me that wanting more did not mean I wasn’t grateful enough.
It didn’t mean I was a work addict.
It didn’t mean I was selfish.
It didn’t mean I could never be satisfied.
Or any of the other things I heard along the way, that made me want to stuff that longing even deeper.
Eventually, I realized something: There was no sin in my longing for more.
Even more important, I began to understand that the longing itself could be an inner calling toward greater purpose, cause, and mission.
After years of fighting it, I now welcome it. And I’d like to help you welcome yours, too.
I was delighted that this couple found their way to me because I knew what I’d heard in both, was a deeper meaning fighting its way to the surface in their life.
Even though it was doing battle with what they believed was good Christian teaching: “Just be more grateful.”
Or good psychology: “Learn to be content with a simple life.”
So, I asked them: “Would it be fair if I assumed that what’s going on in both of you is a longing for MORE?”
I watched a light come on in both of their eyes.
It was as if I’d cut the chains binding them to a dark dungeon and opened the windows to the light of the sun for the first time in ages.
“Is there more?” she asked with such pleading that it was heartbreaking.
I smiled, leaned toward her and said: “Of course there’s more!”
Her husband interrupted immediately. “How do we get there?”
Interesting question.
Because without knowing it, he’d just validated a journey I’m on myself.
Have you ever heard the song made popular by The Staple Singers, I’ll Take You There?
That song was going off in my head and heart as we talked—although in my head it was BeBe and CeCe Winans singing it! “Ain’t nobody cryin’ … ain’t nobody worried … I’ll take you there!”
How do we get there?
I wanted to tell him: “I’m building the bridge.”
But I didn't.
Not yet.
The bridge is still under design.
But his question told me that I was right on track with a mission and vision that’s been burning in my soul. Because I believe there’re many people standing exactly where this couple was standing.
Perhaps you’re one of them.
You’re standing on a cliff. Below you are raging, white-water rapids.
And somehow, deep inside, you just KNOW there’s something amazing on the other side.
But getting from here to there looks treacherous.
Do you jump?
Do you throw away everything you've built?
Do you risk your marriage?
Your income?
Your security?
Do you plunge into the rapids and just hope you survive?
So instead … You stay parked.
Wondering.
Wishing.
Hoping.
Occasionally catching another glimpse of what might be waiting on the other side.
I began sharing with this couple something I want to share with you:
There IS more.
And I believe there’s a bridge. But it must be the right bridge.
One of the great mysteries of life is … when we decide, surrender, and move towards a longing, purpose find us.
