09/02/2026
"The first one to file has the upper hand." It's one of the most common things people believe about divorce.
When you file as the petitioner, you outline what you're looking for. The other side is served, files an answer and a counterpetition, and outlines what they're looking for. You end up on the same level playing field.
So where does the real disadvantage come from? Being caught off guard.
Respondents are often blindsided by that paperwork. Even when the red flags were there, getting served is a shock and from that moment on, they're reacting instead of planning.
If you're noticing financial concerns, infidelity, a breakdown in communication, or a spouse who won't participate in counseling, that's the signal to meet with a divorce attorney. Not necessarily to file. To understand your options and stay ahead of it.
Planning ahead is the advantage. Not filing first.
Have questions about your situation? Kristen Goss can help!
