05/26/2026
Masters of Mentality
Notes From the Field
Almost June 2026
It seems life is a circle. The same situations repeat with new chances to close the circle a little tighter each time. Struggling not to drink started in 10 minute intervals, building to 48 hours without a 40. Then anxiety and insomnia inspired a failure, 48 hours grew to a day at a time since 2012. The battle against he**in has a longer arc weeks could pass before the memory of that Westside brown threw me off my square. I thought the challenge was cleanly vaulted with a move to Fort Lauderdale. 8 months free from both in 2013 I decided to pick up a few Blows off Kimball and Chicago ave. Touching down in Broward the addiction kicked off hard, weekly drive to Miami Gardens for sh*tty fent heavy dope, daily runs out to 441 for increasingly expensive Blues and Dilaudids, not to mention a brand new Crack preference easily supplied at every quik stop from Sistrunk to 84. The circular struggle of 2014 was minute by minute again.
Beginning of July 2014 had me in Fort Lauderdale Hospital on Las Olas. The struggle ended early AM in the Med line. That lil Ativan and Suboxone they were offering would only keep the circle spinning, if I wanted it finished I had to start today. I declined those meds, and leaving the detox life was the same. Peace and relief now found in good works I got much more out of the human struggle on earth than my personal struggle to avoid needles and bottles.
The first read through of Think and Grow Rich during those first days was a very inspiring time. Waves of old prejudices collapsed and new desire filled it's place. The biggest initial revelation was switching from consumer to producer. I had benefitted from crashing on many people's couches, it was time for me to build something others could benefit from. That meant getting documents in order. Until then had never signed a contract, opened a business, filed any documents ever. The struggle now is overcoming old habits and learning entire systems on the fly. Last week brought much progress on many new fronts in all aspects. This week brought flat tires, busted phone, and bank card that has yet to successfully complete a transaction. Survival mode is the bottom of the circle, and this month is expected to remain there till it rises up again with easier posting, more consistency and a closer move to the targets and goals.