06/07/2026
Some years ago, a pussywillow basket came to me in a dream. In a scene still vivid in my mind's eye, I carried this basket to my mother's bedside as she lay awaiting her death.
My mother, approaching her 88th birthday this month, is still physically robust. Her personality, sense of humor, and fundamental equanimity remain intact, even as her mind knows only the present moment.
The present moment is one of the few places in the disaster of dementia that makes sense. As a worrier and planner and fixer, it's not an easy place for me to be. And so I try to pay attention when the present moment is clearly tapping me on the shoulder.
One such moment came when a series of unbidden circumstances found me on a walk at White Eagle Memorial Preserve with Mo Hohmann, a basket weaver. I told her of my dream. She said, "Well, we need to make that basket."
Six months later I traveled to Woven Thresholds, Mo's studio above a goat barn. She would supply the larger willow weavers but suggested I should be the one to gather the fluffy catkins. In my seasonal travels I searched for the right place, the right moment, the right way of coming to this harvest.
None appeared – until the very first morning of my return from the road when Amber and I set out for a walk. "What's that?" she said, noticing a young willow festooned with silky gray tufts at the end of our block. It had never been there before.
Grief. Joy. Wonder. These have become the touchstones of this phase of my life. The rubble of the old structures still surrounds me (sometimes I'm pinned beneath it, to be honest).
But every day, I get to witness and partner with others seeking to befriend their mortality and love what we can't fix – this is the basket of beauty I hope to carry with me until the ending of my days.
Registration is now open for my fall offerings. A new, in-person Intensive Befriending Mortality format – an evening followed by a full day in the warm nest of The Lantern. And the popular virtual option – six sessions over three months – which always includes a nice mix of folks from across the country. Think about enrolling in either format with a friend! Links in comments.
