GMO Ducks That Sh*t Fluoride

05/01/2015

It's THEM. Just look at what THEY are up to. Why would Portland listen to THEM when we already have the patient, perfectly-calibrated quacks of Monsaton's GMO ducks that s**t fluoride to lull is into a non-false sense of satisfaction. THEY work for BIG FARMER and are only interested in THEMself. Trust a brand that's truly eternal: don't take THEIR word for it.

The last effort to fluoridate Portland's water supply, two years ago, went down in flames. But on Monday, the federal government cut by almost half the maximum amount of fluoride it recommends be added to drinking supplies. Is this a good moment for Portland to revisit the issue?

02/21/2015

Monsaton engineers painstakingly modify the genetics of ducks to produce a public health benefit: ducks that are already s**tting into open reservoirs, programmed to give us the benefits of fluoride in our drinking water. Once successfully created, the ducks breed, and scientists high five while drinking.

08/25/2013

Our launch of GMO Ducks that Spray and S**t Fluoride was a huge success. Thanks to everyone who came out to see the ducks take off!

08/24/2013

Thank you to the Willamette Week for finally giving some attention to this vital public health measure. There is a pressing need to keep our reservoirs open so that Monsaton ducks can s**t fluoride directly into our drinking water. Thank you to the online activists brave enough to SHARE this post.

The fluoride fight may be over (fluoride lost, FYI), but the parody pages keep on coming.During the bitter fight over ballot measure 26-151, which would have fluoridated Portland water supply, both si

07/31/2013

Be sure to join our upcoming event in support of the launch of 400 genetically-modified birds that will spray fluoride into our upper atmosphere, giving the vital benefit of fluoride to our teeth and nervous systems:
https://www.facebook.com/events/211841205606780/

07/21/2013

Monsaton is paying activists who are "camping" on Mt Tabor, in support of GMO Ducks being able to s**t their beneficial, pharmaceutical-grade fluoride into our water system. SHARE this image as a way of saying "Thanks!"

07/11/2013

Please stand with the activists working in support of open reservoirs at Mt Tabor. If Portland reservoirs are covered, Monsaton ducks will be unable to s**t fluoride into the drinking water supply. Like and share this post to show love for open reservoirs where ducks can s**t freely.

07/09/2013

We're coming up on the big day where we officially launch our fluoride-s**tting ducks into the open reservoirs of Portland. We're having a contest to name the first duck we release, pictured here. What should we name this GMO duck that s**ts fluoride?

06/20/2013

Monsaton is sponsoring a contest to find the next big thing for ducks to s**t into open reservoirs. What do you think the next generation of GMO ducks should s**t into the open reservoirs of Portland?

06/07/2013

Happy Friday, S**tters! Here's a music video to get you through to the weekend!

Inspired by a real duck.

06/06/2013

Good Morning, **tters! Why do you support GMO Ducks That S**t Fluoride?

06/06/2013

Our community of people who love GMO ducks that s**t fluoride in our reservoirs is growing rapidly. SHARE this post to help propel the movement forward to fill our reservoirs with GMO duck toothpaste s**t.