07/26/2022
I just heard (from an admittedly unreliable source) that today is National Aunt and Uncles Day. Who knew? Certainly not me. And apparently not my several nieces and nephew since they HAVEN’T SENT A CARD OR GIFT on this auspicious holiday this year — or for that matter, in any previous year!
Am I bitter? Absolutely not. Am I sarcastic? Absolutely.
I’m not convinced of the need for a whole day dedicated to acknowledging aunts and uncles. Fifteen minutes? Maybe. A full day? Come on.
After all, what’s to acknowledge? With some notable exceptions (i.e., Aunt Bea on The Andy Griffith Show and Uncle Phil on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air), this aunt/uncle thing generally doesn’t require a lot of heavy lifting. Certainly not on par with the job descriptions assigned to parents and even grandparents.
(GENERATIONAL NOTE: Fellow Baby Boomers, my favorite aunt/uncle combo from the 1960s? Aunt Clara (Bewitched) and Uncle Fester (The Addams Family). Hands down! For my Gen X, Millennial and Gen Z readers — just “Google” them! You won’t be sorry.) ;-)
On a more serious note, aunts and uncles are generally not responsible for feeding and clothing; directing and disciplining; teaching and training; or a thousand other required tasks for raising healthy, happy, well-adjusted children.
So then, what are aunts/uncles good for? I’m glad you asked. Now I’ll tell you. They’re good for making an impression.
Uncle Roy was my mother’s older brother. I liked Uncle Roy, even loved him in a familial way. But I must admit, as a child, we weren’t close — he was just my uncle.
Uncle Roy’s family lived in a city several hundred miles away us. Therefore, we only saw them at family functions twice a year, or whenever they came “home” to visit my grandmother. So it was particularly odd on that December afternoon of my sixteenth year, that I would receive such a mysterious call from Uncle Roy. He asked me and my younger brother, Mark—just the two of us—to meet him at my grandmother’s house.
Upon arriving, we found my Uncle Roy and Aunt Claudine seated in my grandmother’s living room. Just the two of them. My grandmother was absent. Uncle Roy got right to the point.
“Boys,” he began, “I’ve asked you here because your aunt and I are proud of you. We want you to know that.”
He continued.
“Though we don’t see you often, we keep up with you both through your mom and dad. We know you’re both doing well in school and sports, staying out of trouble, and working hard on the farm. Those are all good things. We’re proud of you both for all that. So we’ve got something for you.”
With that, Uncle Roy handed us both crisp $50 bills. We were shocked! We weren’t accustomed to receiving gifts, especially gifts of money. And $50? For us, it might as well have been $500! We just looked at each other disbelieving.
“Boys, we don’t care what you do with that money,” Uncle Roy said. “Save it. Spend it. It’s completely up to you. You earned it. Do with it what you want. We just want you to know that we think you deserve it because you’ve been doing hard things the right way.”
That was 50 years ago. Uncle Roy and Aunt Claudine are both gone now. But their memory and the memory of that evening lives on. So does the lesson that I learned from it.
My aunt and uncle saw us doing something they approved of — that they considered being worthy of acknowledgement. But unlike too many others, they didn’t keep that knowledge to themselves. And they didn’t just share their approval with intermediaries — our parents.
They went straight to the source. My brother and I. They acknowledged our positive behavior to us in most public way, then rewarded that behavior.
Please don’t underestimate the importance of that $50. It was a significant material sign of their goodwill and appreciation of our efforts.
But don’t overestimate it either. Honestly, the money was soon gone. But the memory of their thoughtful efforts continue to be far more valuable than any monetary gift could ever be.
On this National Aunt and Uncle Day I’m reminded that we all have an opportunity to make a lasting difference in the lives of those who are important to us. Aunts and uncles to nieces and nephews. And leaders to followers.
Today, think about recognizing those around you who are exhibiting consistently positive behavior for what it is — individual effort worthy of acknowledgement.
I think Aunt Bea would approve.
