05/27/2026
Dear Crucial Skills,
My introverted daughter tends to avoid social interactions by giving people the silent treatment. Recently she’s been doing this with our housemate. How can I help her develop healthier ways of managing social relations?
Signed,
Worried
Dear Worried,
First, let me touch on the label you used to describe your daughter: introverted. I would caution you against pigeon-holing her into such a label. When we give someone a label, we often also assign corollary traits to them as well (e.g. awkward, unfriendly) many of which can be incorrect. In addition, if your daughter is told she’s introverted, she may begin to believe those traits are true, too.
Besides, introversion is not the issue here. Needing to be alone sometimes, preferring smaller social circles, or processing emotions internally is often perfectly healthy.
The concern here is not that your daughter is reserved—it’s that she withdraws from communication when it feels uncomfortable. In Crucial Conversations, we teach that when conversations stop feeling safe, dialogue breaks down and relationships suffer. Now, if your daughter has a history of trauma from interacting with one or more persons, other remedies such as therapy will often be needed. But for those children who just need a little more help feeling comfortable talking to others, here are a few suggestions:
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My introverted daughter tends to avoid social interactions by giving people the silent treatment. Recently she’s been doing this with our housemate. How can I help her develop healthier ways of managing social relations?
