06/05/2026
# # # THE DREAM OUT SAGA: BILL PATTON, DIPLOMAT OF FAILURE π―
The Silver Fox himself, Bill Patton, returns. π Sporting his blue and silver Vanguard jersey, perfect hair, and enough confidence to make the cards nervous. Bill steps up to the Dream Out.
First number: 122
First dart: TREBLE 1. π Not Treble 20. Not Treble 18. Treble 1.
The Black Dog card immediately says, "That's a bold strategy, Cotton."
Second dart: 7.
And just like that, 122 became a math problem nobody wanted to solve.
Second number: 125
First dart: 3.
Second dart: 6.
The Drinks card starts laughing and says, "Did this man accidentally grab the practice darts?" π
At this point, the cards are feeling pretty good about themselves.
Then, after the Dream Out, Bill decides to play Tam in a friendly series to improve international relations.
Apparently, Bill misunderstood the assignment.
Because he proceeded to beat Tam 2-0 as if he were collecting war reparations. π The same guy who couldn't negotiate a checkout suddenly became a world superpower.
The Black Dog card says,
"Wait... THAT guy just beat Tam?"
The Drinks card responds,
"Maybe we should have let Tam throw the Dream Out numbers for him." π
Bill couldn't solve 122.
Couldn't solve 125.
But somehow solved Tam. International relations were not improved. They were conquered. π
So much for diplomacy.
The United Nations has officially condemned the match.
Tam was reportedly seen filing paperwork for economic sanctions immediately afterward. π
All jokes aside, Bill continues to support the DDA Youth Program and is always a great sport when the roasting starts.
But Bill...
The next time you throw the Dream Out, try using whatever magic you used against Tam. ππ―
* $10 per attempt
* 100% goes to youth darts π―