12/22/2020
If Christmas lights, and music make your heart break into 1000 pieces, you could be grieving. Whether your heart was broken by a death, COVID-19, the end of a relationship, a painful childhood, it doesn't matter-in the sense that your hurt or anger is valid, normal and natural.
The good news is that grieving doesn't have to affect the year-end holiday season for the rest of your life.
But it’s possible you may feel hopeless about feeling some holiday happiness. You might even wonder ′′ What makes Christmas so happy anyway?"
Most of us already know, this year is going to be different and possibly difficult, here are some ways to prepare you:
1. Make a plan. It's okay if you don't want to celebrate, but try not to isolate. It's normal to feel like you're alone but having somewhere to go (a zoom party) or a friend to call, maybe FaceTime someone.. it can be a lot of help. Isolating yourself may only make you feel worse. So let’s non isolate while isolating... ( tricky... but I’m here to help you with this)
2. Be honest about your feelings. It's crucial that you share your feelings, so they don't get bottled up inside you. Just recognizing them can do the trick. Trying saying something like, ′′ I feel sad right now that my dad won't be with us for Christmas." Even if you’re just saying it to yourself! By acknowledging our emotions, accepting them/ letting ourselves feel them - they are able to come and go. It is when we stuff our feelings deep down that they become a state of being.
3. Decide which traditions you want to follow and which ones you want to change. Maybe prepare a special symbol in honor of the person who died or talk about your favorite holiday memories with family and friends. This is an individual thing- it took me months before I could put Sunny’s pictures back up.
4. Try to avoid eating or drinking too much. ( please remind me of this too) Remember when you were sad as a kid and adults would say, ′′ Don't feel bad, have a cookie." or like when a well-intentioned friend offered you ice cream or drinks after a breakup? Sugar & alcohol didn't make you feel better. They made you feel DIFFERENTLY. And the true reason for your sadness was never actually addressed! I know it's hard, but try to feel your feelings, instead of masking them.
5. Consider learning more about the Grief Recovery Method! I’m so happy that I did! Message me for more information and a free 45 minute consultation.