12/08/2021
Why I’m Not Big on Planning This Year
As many of you know, I haven’t been an advocate of traditional planning for decades. You know, the “pick your goals, then break down the action into quarterly, monthly, weekly action steps.”
For years I’ve known that life doesn’t work like that. We don’t work like that.
When we start, we may not know what we need to do to get what we want. What we think we need to do might not be the best way to get what we want. And most of us don’t get up every day and do the same things, the same way, week after week, with the same energy and focus.
While discipline, structure, and useful habits are wonderful tools to help get what we want, and are tools we should use to get what we want, there also has to be room in our plans for making new discoveries, experimenting with alternative approaches, and reprioritizing what gets our attention. None of which go very well with long-term planning.
I tell my clients (and my young adult son) that we have to remember that as humans, we are TERRIBLE at predicting the future. We are TERRIBLE at estimating how long things actually take. We are TERRIBLE at anticipating the obstacles and challenges that might get in our way. We are TERRIBLE at estimating our bandwidth.
And if we think we are supposed to be good at those and we don’t stick with our time line, and things don’t go how we expect, we beat ourselves up.
We like to think our mighty minds can figure things out. Can chart the course, solve the problem, map the territory. But often we can’t.
And rather than take that as a sign of failure, or weakness, maybe we just laugh at how desperately we want to manage and control our futures. We have compassion for our attempt to stuff our deepest desires into neat and manageable boxes.
And then we show up each day with a fresh mind, ready to do what we discern what matters most.
To be honest, 2021 kicked my ass. Ground me into the dirt. 2021 made a mockery of my plans and intentions. 2021 held me down until I surrendered. 2021 broke my heart and my spirit.
Until I accepted that while I can wake up and manage myself each day as best I can, life might have other plans. Other assignments that took precedence over what I thought I was here to do. That the further I tried to get out into the future, the more likely what I planned and what happened would diverge.
Have desires. Absolutely. Big ones. Have intentions. Yes, yes. Hold them dear. Figure out your next step or steps and take them. Sure thing. Day after day.
But plan . . . map out over a longer period of time what you think will happen when, what you think you will do when. I just don’t think it’s a good use of time or mental energy. It risks putting you at odds with yourself. When things start to shift a few degrees, so much of what you mapped is no longer relevant.
Stay closer in. Stay close to your heart, your heat, your passion. Commit to what you care about.
But stay here, stay now. Focus on today, tomorrow, this week. Hold next month, next year lightly.
Stay nimble. Be prepared to change directions, change course, change strategies. Change your expectations about what you do today or tomorrow.
And stay loving yourself and your beautiful heart and all the things you want to feel and experience in this lifetime. And let that guide you.