Modern Love Club

Modern Love Club Matchmaking + Love Coaching
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Professional matchmaking, and love coaching service by day. East Village Art gallery run by Love at night.

08/29/2026

🧳 This is an old video made with Jezebel back when my closet was apparently interesting enough to warrant its own investigation.

Looking back at it now, I realize how much of my relationship with clothes is really a relationship with memory.

I grew up with very little, so clothing was never something I learned to treat as precious.
My grandmother’s wedding dress.
My little brother’s space camp suit.
Things I’d worn until they were practically falling apart.

I loved clothes that had a story.
And I think I still do.
It’s infiltrated everything I do.

I spend my days listening to the stories underneath people’s presentations — the strange histories, the contradictions, the things they’ve survived, the things they’re still becoming. A person is almost always more interesting than the version of themselves they know how to present.

Anyway, enjoy this little time capsule from the archives.

Thank you to Jezebel for capturing this particular chapter of my life. 🧡

I was grateful to be included in this conversation with New York Magazine about what has become a very real question in ...
08/23/2026

I was grateful to be included in this conversation with New York Magazine about what has become a very real question in modern dating: where are the men who are genuinely ready for partnership?

The stories in this piece are real.
I hear versions of them from women all the time.

Women who have built extraordinary careers and lives, but find themselves repeatedly encountering men who are unavailable, intimidated by their success, uninterested in commitment, or not equipped for the kind of relationship they want.

And yes, I have said before that the “good-man crisis” has gotten worse.

But there is another story I want to tell, too.
Because I spend my days talking to men.
Really talking to them.

And I am continually struck by how many exceptional men are out there who are thoughtful, emotionally intelligent, deeply loyal, curious, successful, and genuinely interested in building a life with someone.

Men who want to be good partners.
Men who want a woman they admire.
Men who are tired of the transactional nature of modern dating.

Men who want to fall in love and don’t necessarily know where to find someone who wants the same thing.

So I don’t think the answer is to conclude that “there are no good men.” I think the dating ecosystem has become extraordinarily inefficient at helping good people find one another.

The people who are most visible aren’t necessarily the people who are most available for love. And the people who would make extraordinary partners aren’t always the people who are best at marketing themselves on an app.

This is one of the reasons I haven’t retired from matchmaking. Because every week, I meet evidence that the story is more hopeful than the cultural conversation would have us believe.

There are wonderful men.
There are wonderful women.
There are people who are ready.
There are people who are becoming ready.
And there are still extraordinary relationships being built.

We just have to get better at creating the conditions where these people can actually find one another. ⚡️ Read the full piece in The Cut, and then tell me: do you think we’re actually running out of good partners, or have we become very bad at finding each other?

If marriage has disappointed you from a distance, the invitation isn’t necessarily to reject it. It’s to imagine it agai...
08/21/2026

If marriage has disappointed you from a distance, the invitation isn’t necessarily to reject it. It’s to imagine it again.

Reclaim the parts that became performance!

Question the parts that were inherited without examination!

Because there is a version of marriage that can look terribly small from the outside: a legal contract, a performance of perfection, a pressure to become “settled,” as though you should arrive at the altar having already figured out what the rest of your life is supposed to look like.

If that’s the version you’ve been handed, we understand why you might not want it.

But what if marriage could be something much more interesting?

Those of you in modern love club are becoming increasingly interested in marriage as an intentional initiation and a living practice. That feels very different from just having a wedding. It’s a conscious decision to begin building something that neither person could create alone.

Which raises better questions:

What are we promising to practice?

What are we agreeing to build?

Whose worlds are we joining?

What traditions will we carry forward, and which ones will we consciously leave behind?

What kind of home will we create?

Who will we become because we chose to do life together?

And perhaps this is the reframe: marriage doesn’t have to be something we inherit whole. We can examine it, refine it, and consciously decide what we want it to mean.

We can make it an initiation into the kind of life we actually want to live together.

💌 If the world has given you a cynical idea of marriage, but some part of you still wonders whether there could be a deeper version of it, that’s exactly the conversation we’re interested in having at Modern Love Club.

Enter the Rolodex.

What would you want your marriage to create that has nothing to do with the wedding itself?

08/15/2026

You don’t have to manufacture chemistry where there isn’t any. You don’t have to override your intuition or talk yourself into someone. But sometimes the most generous thing you can do on a date is leave a little room for a person to become more interesting than your first impression of them.

Because people are dimensional.

And attraction, compatibility, and trust aren’t always visible on the first date.

This was one of my favorite moments from my time matchmaking on Netflix’s Bling Empire because it captures something so wonderfully ordinary about dating: we’re all walking into the room with our expectations, preferences, histories, and little internal narrators, and then another human being walks in and complicates the story.

đź’Ś Follow for more from the matchmaking trenches, and tell me: have you ever had a first impression of someone that completely changed once you got to know them?

There’s a romantic idea that somewhere out there is your “other half.”But the right person might see something you don’t...
08/14/2026

There’s a romantic idea that somewhere out there is your “other half.”But the right person might see something you don’t see. Challenge a belief you didn’t realize you’d outgrown. Bring you into rooms you wouldn’t have entered alone. Make you more playful, more grounded, more courageous, more yourself.

Difference can create dimension.

And sometimes the most interesting thing about a match isn’t what either person brings independently. It’s what emerges between them. The third intelligence and shared language that create a world that didn’t exist before these two people entered it together.

That’s one of the things we look for when we’re matchmaking: what might these two become in relationship with each other?

Discover what becomes possible when two whole people meet. 💌 If you’re looking for a partnership that adds dimensions, enter the Modern Love Club rolodex.

08/08/2026

After difficult relationships, it can be tempting to build the next search around avoiding the past. We become very specific about what we don’t want, what someone should look like, how they should live, what boxes they should check.

And some discernment is essential.

But a relationship isn’t a checklist.

Compatibility is something you discover in relationship with an actual human being.

Sometimes the details you thought would matter most don’t.

Sometimes the person who looks perfect on paper leaves you cold.

And sometimes a seemingly insignificant detail (ex: how someone handles a mess, whether they can laugh at themselves, how they make you feel after three hours together) tells you far more than a dating profile ever could.

That’s part of why I love matchmaking. The work isn’t simply to find someone who fits the description. It’s to listen closely enough to understand the person behind the description, and then create the possibility for something real to unfold.

This was part two of my matchmaking journey on Netflix’s Bling Empire. 💌 Follow for Part 3! And if you’re ready to move beyond the algorithm and get intentional about who you’re meeting, enter the Modern Love Club rolodex.

We’ve become remarkably sophisticated about optimizing the conditions for professional success. We think carefully about...
08/07/2026

We’ve become remarkably sophisticated about optimizing the conditions for professional success. We think carefully about capital, talent, networks, sleep, nutrition, productivity, environment. And yet, when it comes to love, many extraordinarily ambitious people still treat partnership as an optional variable... something to pursue once the important work is done.

I’m not convinced that’s an intellectually rigorous way to think about a human life.

The question isn’t whether you need a partner to succeed. Of course you don’t! It’s whether the right relationship can change the conditions under which you think, create, take risks, recover, and become. A person who knows you deeply can offer something no productivity system can: perspective without performance. Accountability without hierarchy. A place where your value isn’t being measured by what you produced that day.

And perhaps most importantly, partnership asks us to become excellent at something that has nothing to do with achievement:

being fully alive in the presence of another person.

I think the most interesting people aren’t trying to build smaller lives in the name of success.

They’re building lives with enough depth to hold both ambition and intimacy.

💌 If you’re building an extraordinary life and want a partnership capable of meeting you there, enter the Modern Love Club rolodex.

07/28/2026

This conversation, filmed during my appearance on Netflix’s Bling Empire, begins with dating. Very quickly, it becomes something much deeper. After years of being criticized, controlled, abandoned, or taught that love must be earned, our nervous systems often mistake familiarity for compatibility.

One of the greatest privileges of this work is witnessing the moment someone realizes they don’t need to repeat the same relationship with a different face. That there is another way to love. One built on respect instead of anxiety. Curiosity instead of control. Mutual devotion instead of survival.

Those moments are why I’ve spent the last two decades interviewing thousands of singles and helping people rewrite the stories they thought they had to keep living.

This is only the beginning of her journey.

✨ Follow along for Part 2.

💌 And if you’re ready to explore your own patterns, and meet extraordinary people with intention, we’d love to meet you. Enter the Modern Love Club rolodex.

07/24/2026

“When do you know you’ve done enough work?” I don’t think we ever arrive in the way we imagine. ⚡️ At first, I found the idea of pattern rewiring exhausting. Almost discouraging. Now I find it strangely liberating.

Because it means the goal was never to become someone without patterns. It was to notice them a little sooner. To soften a little faster. To repair with a little more grace. To become increasingly intimate with the ways your mind and nervous system move through the world... so they no longer unconsciously write your future.

I think this is true in love, too. Every relationship asks us the same question in a slightly different language:

Will you protect who you’ve always been, or will you allow yourself to become someone capable of loving more consciously?

Maybe that’s why I never tire of matchmaking. At its best, it’s about creating the conditions where two human beings can continue becoming.

A heartfelt thank you to The Feels for such a thoughtful conversation and for creating space for questions that matter. Conversations like these remind me why I love this work. 🧡

💌 If you’re interested in finding not just a partner, but a relationship that invites your next season of growth, we’d love to meet you. Enter the Modern Love Club rolodex.

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