The EMDR Coach

The EMDR Coach Dana Carretta-Stein, Certified EMDR Therapist & EMDRIA Approved Consultant

09/01/2026

I laugh, I get stressed, I breathe intentionally.
And that's exactly why I can help you do the same.

Being human isn't a liability in therapy.
It's the whole point.

I know what nervousness feels like in my own body.
I know what it takes to regulate.

That's not detached expertise, that's lived understanding.

Your therapist isn't healed from everything.
She's just regulated enough to help you regulate.

That's real.

08/31/2026

As therapists, it’s SO important to practice what we preach!

If you’re in therapy to learn how to overcome people pleasing and set better boundaries, then one of the ways your therapist can help you is by leading by example.
Some ways that therapists model healthy boundaries with their clients are:

1️⃣ Holding steady on their rates 💰
Yes, this IS a boundary and a form of self-care for therapists, too. Therapists aren’t expensive because we just picked a random high number to charge you.
💰 Rates for therapists are typically determined based on a therapists own expenses and expertise. If a therapist can’t afford to pay for their own basic needs, then how can they possibly help you if they’re stuck in their own survival mode?
And contrary to popular belief, insurance companies do not reimburse therapists nearly enough for a therapist to break even. But I’ll save this rant for another post because I can go on all day by how broken that system is…
By holding steady on their rates, a therapist is making sure that they can continue helping you in the long run.

2️⃣ Time during session and outside of session
🕰️ Time management is a struggle for many individuals with anxiety, ADHD, etc., so staying true to our schedules is a great way for therapists to model effective time management skills. Obviously exceptions are made during emergencies and moments of crisis

3️⃣ Holding you accountable to do the work
📝 Your therapists WANTS to help you! If you struggle with things like people pleasing, for example, you therapist challenging you and holding you accountable is a healthy way to model healthy communication.

08/31/2026

Your nervous system doesn't know the difference between "then" and "now."

That gap between understanding something logically and feeling safe in your body?

That's not a character flaw.
That's neurobiology.

And it's exactly why healing isn't about thinking your way out of trauma.

It's about helping your body complete what your mind already knows is over.

Listen to more Truth bombs and full episodes of Truth About Healing.
Comment PODCAST and I'll send you the link.

08/30/2026

The myth: truth wins in family court.

Reality: genuineness wins.

You could have every fact on your side. But if you're dysregulated when you present it, defensive, reactive, triggered, you lose. Your kids lose.
What the court responds to is how you show up.

A genuine person is someone trying to get through this process with their dignity and self-worth intact. Not perfect. Regulated. Present.
A genuine person knows they can't win everything. They know divorce is hard for everyone, themselves, their ex, the kids.

Your nervous system state is your actual argument in court.

For therapists: Family court outcomes aren't determined by narrative truth. They're determined by how regulated and genuine your client appears. Coach nervous system regulation during depositions, mediation, and court appearances. Regulated clients make better real-time decisions and judges respond to that presence.

Thanks to Gus Dimopoulos for this truth on Truth About Healing.
Listen to the full episode—Episode 13: Divorce, Trauma & Truth with Gus Dimopoulos.
➡️https://cstu.io/9854d0

When you understand how it works, especially for complex trauma, you can be much more intentional about when and how you...
08/30/2026

When you understand how it works, especially for complex trauma, you can be much more intentional about when and how you use it.

The key with complex trauma is understanding that you’re not just treating one memory.
You’re treating a system of interconnected memories, beliefs, and protective patterns.
Which means treatment planning isn’t optional—it’s essential.

Swipe through to understand the mechanism, then comment PLANNER if you want the worksheets that make treatment planning actually doable.

The biggest myth about EMDR?That you have to relive your trauma to heal it.Not how it works.Your brain is actually doing...
08/29/2026

The biggest myth about EMDR?
That you have to relive your trauma to heal it.
Not how it works.

Your brain is actually doing the healing during treatment, the eye movements help your nervous system reprocess what got stuck.
You only focus on what matters.
No need to crawl through every detail.

There are a lot of misconceptions floating around about what EMDR is and isn't. The eye movements aren't magic. EMDR isn't just for big "T" traumas. You don't need to believe in it for your brain to respond.

What actually happens is your nervous system gets to finish processing something it couldn't move through before.
That's the work.

If you're curious about how EMDR actually works, check it here:
➡️https://cstu.io/83d6f7

08/28/2026

When you're in custody litigation, everything feels permanent.

Your nervous system is in threat-detection mode. It narrows your focus on the immediate crisis. That's its design.

Here's what helps: know the timeline.
Custody battles last 14 months. Maybe 16. Not forever.
Your kids will be 18. They'll be your kids forever.
This season is temporary. Your relationship with them isn't.

All you're asking during this time is that you show up a certain way.

---------
For therapists: Your clients in custody conflict are stuck in crisis time. Help them hold both truths: this is hard and it's temporary. The relationship with their kids is the permanent story. The litigation is one painful chapter.

Thanks to Gus Dimopoulos for this truth on Truth About Healing.

Listen to Episode 13: Divorce, Trauma & Truth with Gus Dimopoulos.
➡️ https://cstu.io/39ecf0

08/28/2026

When someone notices you've changed, your nervous system interprets that as a threat.

It reads their observation as judgment.

So it pushes you to defend. Explain. Prove you're still "acceptable."

But changing isn't something that needs defending.

Your nervous system just learned early that being different = being wrong.

That's not actually true.

So when someone says "you've changed," they're often just noticing.

Not criticizing.

The urge to explain everything? That's your system trying to keep you safe.

You can thank them, keep going, and let your growth speak for itself.

Comment SELFCHECK and I'll send you a tool to understand the patterns your nervous system learned in relationships.

When your nervous system is stuck processing old trauma, it doesn’t just affect your mood.It affects everything.Your bod...
08/27/2026

When your nervous system is stuck processing old trauma, it doesn’t just affect your mood.
It affects everything.
Your body. Your brain. Your relationships. Your gut.

Because trauma doesn’t live in one compartment.
It lives in your nervous system.
And your nervous system runs your whole body.

If you’re experiencing these symptoms, here’s what I want you to know:
You’re not broken.
Your body is just still trying to protect you.
And healing is possible.

Comment FREE and I’ll send you my free resources—including “10 Signs You’re Healing from CPTSD.”
Because sometimes you’re healing and you don’t even realize it.

08/26/2026

Your impulse to interrupt means something.

But I had to get honest about whose information it actually was.

If they're ruminating in a trauma loop and stuck, nterrupt. That's clinical.

If they're processing something painful but moving through it, wait. That's their work.

If something they're avoiding is right there in the room, name it. Interrupt.

But if I want to jump in because I'm uncomfortable with silence or their emotion? That's my nervous system, not theirs. Stay still.

The framework isn't about rules. It's about getting radically honest about where the impulse is coming from.

Your discomfort is information. But it's not your client's problem to solve.

Comment PLANNER and I'll send you the treatment planning worksheets.

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Scarsdale, NY
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