07/17/2020
this was me yesterday, after a sweaty 6 mile run, with so much genuine joy in that smile. this is not me today. my mri results came back this morning and my fracture has returned with a vengeance. no running, no walking, no standing on my leg for 6 weeks. honestly, i feel pretty devastated. recovery is so. dang. hard. ... and it’s taking everything in me to not fall apart (both literally and emotionally). i want to get better. i want to show people that they can still run after life with an eating disorder. and i fully believe they can. i say that recovery isn’t linear all the time, but when your body becomes a testament to that, it’s really tough to believe that it’s okay. but it is okay. this is just a part of my journey, and it sucks, but i know it will ultimately make me stronger. i will run again. taking a break from social media for a bit so i can heal in more ways than one.
reminding myself of this a lot right now:
“my comfort in my suffering is this:
your promise preserves my life.”
psalm 119:50