07/26/2026
At first glance, this graphic seems to carry a positive message: recognize abuse early, know your worth, and don’t tolerate violence. The intention may even be empowering.
But there’s a statement here that deserves a closer look:
“My mom and my aunts taught me better than that.”
That statement can unintentionally cross into victim blaming.
Why? Because it suggests that avoiding or leaving an abusive relationship is a matter of being “taught better.” And if someone stays, returns, or struggles to leave, the implication becomes: Maybe she didn’t know better. Maybe she wasn’t raised better. Maybe she should have made better choices.
That shifts attention away from the person choosing to abuse and places responsibility on the person experiencing the abuse.
Domestic violence is far more complex than simply knowing that abuse is wrong. A victim can be educated, confident, successful, financially independent, supported by family—and still become trapped in an abusive relationship.
Victim blaming doesn’t always sound cruel.
Sometimes it sounds like:
“I would never let somebody do that to me.”
“Why didn’t she just leave?”
“She went back, so what does she expect?”
“She should have seen the signs.”
“I was raised better than that.”
These statements may be intended as expressions of strength, but they can create shame and reinforce the idea that a victim’s choices—or upbringing—are responsible for another person’s abusive behavior.
Fact is: No one deserves abuse, and no one is responsible for another person’s decision to use violence, intimidation, or control.
