http://www.therestimeenough.com/

Time Enough, Tucson, AZ (2026)

07/25/2023

In my work, I am most often asked about advance directives. What are they? How can I complete them? How do I know if they’re legally valid? The confusion is fair- the documents and terminology vary state to state and even within a state, people in the field don’t use the same language when talking about these things. I’ve done a post like this before, but on this topic repetition can never hurt.

‘Advance directive’ is an umbrella term. The documents that fall under that umbrella will vary from state to state. In Arizona (where I’m based), there are 4 documents under this umbrella:
1. Living will: these are your instructions for what you want or don’t want related to your healthcare. You can make this as general or specific as you want and need. Even if you name a power of attorney it’s a good idea to complete a living will to provide specific guidance (in addition to conversations you’ve had with them).
2. Healthcare power of attorney: this is who will speak for you/make decisions about your physical health. You can name a primary and a secondary (or backup). This is a good idea in case your primary refuses or is unreachable, but you aren’t required to list a secondary. *The power of attorney may also be called the proxy, agent, or surrogate. They mean the same thing.
3. Mental healthcare power of attorney: this is who will speak for you/make decisions about your mental and behavioral health (which includes cognitive diseases like dementia). You can name a primary and a secondary (or backup). This is a good idea in case your primary refuses or is unreachable, but you aren’t required to list a secondary. *The power of attorney may also be called the proxy, agent, or surrogate. They mean the same thing.
4. Pre-hospital medical care directive (aka do not resuscitate or orange form): this is the form you complete if you DO NOT want to be resuscitated in the event that your heart or lungs stop. This is the only document that requires the signature of a healthcare provider. This will instruct emergency medical system personnel and emergency department personnel to withhold all resuscitation measures.

07/18/2023

Hi friends, its been a while. I didn’t mean to take so much time off from posting on here, but life’s been life and it happened. I’m still at a point with my dissertation and full-time work where doula things have to take a backseat, but I’d like to try to get back into posting educational stuff here with some regularity. If there’s anything around end of life planning of grief that you’ve been dying to know about, let me know so I can work on a post about it. Otherwise, hopefully I’ll be around here more often ❤️

01/06/2023

I wanted to provide a life update because I’ve been more absent on here than usual (and who knew that was possible).

As most of you probably know, Time Enough has never been my full time job (even though I wish it was). So, since becoming a doula in 2019 I have also worked full time and in 2020 I started a doctoral program. I have continued to work full time and I just finished my coursework and am now fully into my dissertation phase for my doctoral program. This transition has been more stressful than I anticipated, which is why I pulled back on here (the only place I really can). I’m still figuring out what my new normal looks like in this new phase of my life, but I plan to be here in some capacity. Even though Time Enough isn’t my full time job, I love this work and I know this education is needed. I just have to figure out how this fits in with work, school, and filling my cup.

Although social media may be slow while I navigate a new normal, please feel free to contact me (probably via email would be best) if you have questions or need something ❤️

(Also, this is a picture of my mourning section/alter which includes the beautiful urns my mom bought me for Obie and Dozer along with artwork from loved ones that I cherish. Creating a space for remembrance and ritual is so powerful and I really do recommend investing in it)

12/29/2022

One of the main things I get asked is “what even is a death doula?” And honestly, there isn’t a really one set answer. Death doulas provide non-medical support, but within that definition the support and services that each doula offers may vary widely. Many doulas have areas that they specialize in, such as advance care planning, compassionate closings, memory care, etc. but there are doulas who do the jack of all trade thing. My advice would be to get clear on what support and services you and your loved ones need before starting to look for a doula. Just like with healthcare providers, not every doula will be the right fit for you so you might have to do some consults, but this is a growing field with many amazing and competent providers so hopefully you can find the one that meets your needs!

11/23/2022

Last week I was lucky enough to see some of my favorite musicians. While at the concert I had some thoughts about death positivity and how that impacts my enjoyment of these things and I fully intended on diving into that in this post.

Instead of talking about that, I want to hold space for grief. Because on Saturday, people went to Club Q in Colorado Springs to have a fun night out, just like I did last week. But 5 people were killed and 18 were injured and a community is dealing with the impacts of that violence. Last night, 6 people were killed and 4 were injured as they tried to shop at a Walmart in Chesapeake, Virginia.

I can talk about death positivity all I want, but it doesn’t change the fact that this is the world we live in and no amount of death meditation can change the fear a lot of us feel because of events like these. It doesn’t change the fact that there are people who will be missing at Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow because of violence. It doesn’t change the fact that a good death isn’t always possible because of so many things, including this kind of senseless violence.

Your grief around these events is valid. You don’t have to have been present to be impacted and it doesn’t mean what you’re feeling isn’t real. I hope you all can take time to feel and acknowledge your grief as we go into a season that is already difficult for so many ❤️

11/17/2022

Living in a death-phobic society means that death is often viewed as not only the worst possible outcome, but also frequently as a personal failure. The thing is, none of us get out of this alive. How can dying be a failure when it’s one of the only experiences we’ll all have? So if you’re feeling bad about this or people are making you feel like you haven’t “fought hard enough” (I hate talking about illness and death that way, but that’s a conversation for another day), remember that there is nothing wrong with you for getting sick or aging or dying. These are things that happen to us all at some point and are not a reflection of you ❤️

10/19/2022

When we’re grieving, it can be easy to be hard on yourself and ignore what you’re feeling. Or to tell yourself you’re grieving wrong because you should be over it by now. So this is your reminder that there is no set timeline for grief and there isn’t a right or wrong way to grieve. Give yourself some grace (the same grace I’m sure you give to friends when they’re grieving) and acknowledge and feel whatever feelings come up.

10/08/2022

Your morning coffee (or tea) can be a great time to reflect on life and death. While you’re sitting there, think about how humans breathe out carbon dioxide, which will kill us if it builds up in our bodies, which plants then use for their growth- just one way life and death are interconnected. Take time to focus on your breathing and acknowledge that there will be a point where an inhale and exhale are your last.

When we talk about doing death meditations, they don’t have to be long, drawn out things (although they can be and there are some wonderful 15+ minute death meditations out there). You can spend a few minutes during an existing part of your routine to think about and get comfortable with the inevitability of death.

09/27/2022

One of the things I hear most often from people is “I want to do my end of life planning, but I don’t know what the different terms mean and what the different documents are”. I totally get that because we don’t really have standardized language around this stuff (that’s part of the downside of not having national standards). So let’s start by trying to clarify some terms around the healthcare documents (with the disclaimer that I live in Arizona and mainly work here so these terms may or may not be accurate for where you live).

I think it’s easiest to think of “advance directives” as an umbrella term for the end of life planning documents that pertain to your healthcare. In Arizona, we have 4 documents that fall under this umbrella (I’ll do a post on each of these separately):
1. Living will (what healthcare treatments you do or don’t want)
2. Healthcare power of attorney (who makes decisions about your physical health)
3. Mental healthcare power of attorney (who makes decisions about your mental/behavioral health)
4. Pre-hospital medical directive (also called the do not resuscitate or orange form as it refuses resuscitation if your heart or lungs stop)

These documents are often found in premade template packets, like the AG’s Life Care Planning packet, and I’ll make another post that talks about some of the template options we have here in Arizona.

09/07/2022

In case you needed a reminder, grief isn’t linear and if you find yourself revisiting certain stages, feel like you’re regressing, or feel emotions that you think you should be over by now, that’s okay. Society places expectations on our grief that aren’t actually in line with the grieving process for most of us. So feel, deal, heal your way through it. You’re doing great ❤️

08/23/2022

When I bring up to people that they should complete their advance directives, regardless of age or health status, I’m often met with this answer: “If it was important my doctor would have brought it up.” But talking to patients about end of life topics, including advance care planning, actually isn’t a common part of medical training (although there are many brilliant people working to change that).

While it would be wonderful if talking about advance directives was part of a routinely yearly exam, we aren’t at that point yet for most providers. So, don’t wait for your doctor or NP or PA to bring it up. Be proactive and complete your advance directives, and when you bring them to your next appointment to have them scanned into your chart maybe you can be the patient that pushes them to realize how important these documents are and that they should incorporate these things into their practice 😉

07/27/2022

I recently read Tuesdays With Morrie at my dad’s recommendation, and I loved it. It wasn’t perfect (I’ll never be the one to tell you that a peaceful death requires forgiveness if you aren’t ready to give it), but it was reflective and poignant. So while it isn’t Tuesday, today’s post is in honor of Morrie and his reminder that death just changes our relationships, it doesn’t end them.

Time Enough

07/25/2023

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