03/22/2024
Good evening Friends, I really just want to say thank you again for your perseverance in praying for me. My numbers haven’t changed yet. They’ve been the same for the last four days so I’m hoping that’ll start changing any day now otherwise I’m not getting out of here anytime soon.
I just wanted to speak into something that Terry and I were talking about this morning because I’m want to keep things real. We talked about how much harder it is going through cancer when you’re not in the city where you live. It takes it to a whole new level, and I’m not saying this because we want anyone to feel sorry for me or us but I just want to bring some understanding and clarity around this.
When I found out that I was having a relapse, several people were surprised that I couldn’t be treated in Kelowna because we have cancer centre there. What they didn’t know is that leukaemia is only treated in Vancouver no matter where you are from in the province, and there’s a reason for that. The medical team here is outstanding, and they hover over you like a mother hen with her baby chicks. There are 17 doctors devoted to leukaemia alone in at VGH and the staff care deeply for their patients, and they love what they do. Two whole floors of the hospital are dedicated to treating leukaemia/lymphoma alone. You couldn’t receive better care anywhere and I can’t tell you what peace that brings me/us.
The biggest downside of having to be here means that I’m not at home, in my own city, surrounded by family, friends and things that are familiar to me. I don’t get to go to the Cancer clinic and then get to go home after my appointments where I can prepare a meal or have one prepared for me in my own kitchen, sit in my favourite chair, enjoy being in the comfort and safety of our home, or see spring blossoming in our yard which is like a sanctuary that feeds our souls. I’m not even allowed to leave the leukaemia floors at all until I am released from here. It’s been 24 days since I have breathed in fresh air or felt the warmth of the air on my skin. I don’t get to use my own bathroom or sleep in my own bed curled up next to my husband each night. I don’t get to see the beautiful faces of family or friends drop by for a visit and share face to face time together. Even if I had to stay in the cancer lodge in Kelowna for a time, I would still be in my city which is home to me and have most of this available to me. Terry and I feel this is the hardest part of the journey truly, being in a city that brings no joy and only associated by trauma. It’s brutal. Terry feels awful when he needs to be at home without me because life doesn’t stop just because one gets sick, and things still need his attention at home. He loathes coming to Vancouver because of what it represents for us. We’ve both said the greatest part of coming to Vancouver is seeing it in our rear view mirror. And if we ever have to come back again, it’s too soon.
So, if you ever have to go through cancer and you get to stay in the place you call home consider yourself doubly blessed. Be ever so grateful because truly there is no place like home.
I thank you for letting me air some of the grief we are currently experiencing once again. This is not our first rodeo, we did this four years ago and were away from home the better part of nine months. It’s no picnic.
So the next time we get to go home you might just catch us doing cartwheels on the lawn, or dancing up a storm in our living room because truly, that’s our happy place. ❤️🙏🏼😁

