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Just days after Tesla unveiled its highly anticipated Roadster, Texas has fired back with an innovation nobody asked for...
10/17/2026

Just days after Tesla unveiled its highly anticipated Roadster, Texas has fired back with an innovation nobody asked for: the Tesla Rooster.

Built entirely from stainless steel, the battery-powered bird boasts an impressive 300 miles per cluck, accelerates from 0 to 60 in just 3.2 clucks, and features revolutionary Full Self-Roosting technology.

Its biggest innovation? CyberEggs. Perfectly square stainless-steel eggs that are indestructible, completely inedible, and have already destroyed several frying pans.

The rooster can produce six CyberEggs per charge and features a 120-decibel digital crow, automatic sunrise detection, and Ludicrous Mode for chasing delivery drivers.

Prices start at $69,420, with the charging cable and nesting box sold separately.

One local farmer summed it up perfectly: “That’s a $70,000 chicken that can’t lay an omelet.”

Production is expected to begin sometime between next Tuesday and 2047.

10/17/2026

Heading to Harker Heights Food, W**e & Brew Festival!

Come say hi!

For over 500 years, the Mona Lisa has remained one of history’s greatest mysteries. But what if the painting hanging in ...
10/17/2026

For over 500 years, the Mona Lisa has remained one of history’s greatest mysteries. But what if the painting hanging in the Louvre isn’t the original?

According to a recently discovered, completely made-up Renaissance manuscript, Leonardo da Vinci’s original masterpiece featured a mysterious beaver wearing a red hat.

Some believe the woman we see today was painted over the original to conceal a secret centuries ahead of its time.

The Vatican denies everything. The Louvre refuses to comment. And somewhere in Texas, a beaver knows the truth.

The Da Buc-ee Code.

Good Morning, Texas! It’s Saturday, October 17th, and the entire state has somehow been granted one officially licensed ...
10/17/2026

Good Morning, Texas! It’s Saturday, October 17th, and the entire state has somehow been granted one officially licensed day of fall. The Panhandle starts in the mid 30s and only reaches the low 60s, which means Amarillo has skipped light-jacket weather and gone directly to scraping around the closet for gloves. West Texas wakes up in the 40s and warms into the upper 60s beneath mostly cloudy skies. North Texas begins near 50 and reaches around 70 with plenty of sunshine. East Texas climbs from the upper 40s into the low 70s, with dry conditions lingering after a windy night, so leave the burn pile alone. Central Texas and the Hill Country will be sunny and comfortably parked near 70. Houston and the Gulf Coast reach the low 70s, while San Antonio tops out around 72. Even South Texas joins the program, with the Rio Grande Valley only reaching the mid 70s. That sound you hear is every Texan opening the windows at once. Tonight brings clear skies and temperatures ranging from the 40s up north to the 60s near the coast. Enjoy this responsibly. Texas fall comes with the same return policy as clearance furniture.

10/17/2026

Tesla Roadster: Texas Edition, in collaboration with Texas Inspiration!

Same horsepower. Significantly more horse.

Tesla

With strong winds sweeping across Texas today, wildlife officials have confirmed the first major trampoline migration of...
10/16/2026

With strong winds sweeping across Texas today, wildlife officials have confirmed the first major trampoline migration of the fall season.

Residents across North Texas have reported seeing entire flocks of backyard trampolines taking flight, some traveling in the traditional V formation commonly associated with geese.

According to experts, the North American Backyard Trampoline (Bouncus Maximus) is a seasonal migratory species that typically remains dormant throughout the summer before becoming airborne during the first significant wind event of autumn.

“It’s really quite beautiful,” said one local wildlife observer. “You can always tell when fall has arrived in Texas. The leaves start changing, the temperatures drop a little, and somebody’s $400 trampoline flies over your house.”

Scientists believe the trampolines are heading south toward warmer climates, although their migration patterns remain unpredictable. Some have reportedly traveled several miles, while others have ended their journey in swimming pools, power lines, and neighboring rooftops.

Wildlife officials are reminding Texans not to interfere with the migration.

“If you encounter a trampoline in your yard, remain calm. It’s likely just resting before continuing its journey. Whatever you do, don’t attempt to ride it.”

Officials expect migration activity to continue as long as the wind keeps blowing.

No trampolines were interviewed for this story.

If you’ve ever spotted a fuzzy, bright red and black insect scurrying across your yard in Texas, you may have encountere...
10/16/2026

If you’ve ever spotted a fuzzy, bright red and black insect scurrying across your yard in Texas, you may have encountered a velvet ant. And despite its cute, fuzzy appearance, this little critter has earned the nickname “cow killer.”

But here’s where things get interesting. Velvet ants aren’t actually ants at all. They’re a type of wasp!

The females are wingless, which makes them look like oversized, hairy ants. The males have wings and can fly, but they can’t sting. The females, on the other hand, pack one of the most painful stings in the insect world.

That intimidating nickname, “cow killer,” comes from the legendary pain of their sting. But don’t worry, there’s no evidence that one can actually kill a cow. Their venom isn’t considered particularly dangerous to most people, but the pain is another story!

And here’s something even stranger. Female velvet ants sneak into the nests of ground-nesting bees and wasps and lay their eggs near the developing young. When the velvet ant larvae hatch, they feed on the host’s offspring.

Despite their fearsome reputation, velvet ants aren’t aggressive. They’d much rather run away than pick a fight. Their bright colors are nature’s way of saying, “You probably shouldn’t mess with me.”

So the next time you see one of these fuzzy little creatures wandering across your Texas lawn, admire it from a distance.

It may look like a tiny stuffed animal, but it comes equipped with a Texas-sized attitude and a sting you’ll never forget!

Every morning I clock in and ask the Lord for three things: patience, a steady paycheck, and the strength not to say wha...
10/16/2026

Every morning I clock in and ask the Lord for three things: patience, a steady paycheck, and the strength not to say what I’m actually thinking.

Because these bills ain’t gonna pay themselves, and apparently telling people what you really think is frowned upon in the workplace.

Good Morning, Texas! It’s Friday, October 16th, and somebody finally found the thermostat. The Panhandle wakes up in the...
10/16/2026

Good Morning, Texas! It’s Friday, October 16th, and somebody finally found the thermostat. The Panhandle wakes up in the low 40s and only reaches the upper 50s, so Amarillo will spend the day reminding everyone that jackets exist. West Texas stays cloudy and cool, with El Paso climbing from around 50 into the upper 60s after a windy, dusty morning. North Texas may see a few early showers before sunshine returns, but temperatures only reach the upper 60s. Central Texas and the Hill Country start damp and cloudy, then settle into the low 70s. East Texas will also hover near 70, with dry, gusty conditions creating an elevated fire danger, so today is not the day to test that questionable burn pile. Houston and the Gulf Coast stay in the low to mid 70s with a few morning showers. South Texas reaches the low 70s around San Antonio, while the Rio Grande Valley climbs into the upper 80s with scattered showers because McAllen apparently did not receive the cold front’s forwarding address. Tonight, most of Texas cools into the 50s and 60s, with the Panhandle dropping back into the 40s. Enjoy it responsibly. Summer is probably just hiding behind the shed.

A suburban neighborhood has officially replaced all its residential streets with a 12-mile lazy river, allowing homeowne...
10/16/2026

A suburban neighborhood has officially replaced all its residential streets with a 12-mile lazy river, allowing homeowners to float directly to their front doors.

The $240 million project was approved after residents complained about speeding vehicles, traffic congestion, and the lack of resort-style amenities.

“We wanted to create a safer, more relaxing community,” an HOA spokesperson explained. “Now nobody can speed through the neighborhood because nobody can drive through the neighborhood.”

Residents are required to park at the community entrance and use HOA-approved inflatable tubes to reach their homes.

While many homeowners are enjoying the new lifestyle, some have raised concerns about grocery deliveries, emergency vehicles, and the 45-minute float required to retrieve their mail.

One resident described the experience as “living at a water park where you still have to pay property taxes.”

The HOA says the project has been a tremendous success and has already announced plans to replace sidewalks with waterslides.

Residents have also been reminded that inflatable flamingos must be approved by the architectural review committee.

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