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Bald White Guy Reviews, 149 N. Main st, Washington Court House, OH (2026)

05/21/2026

🚨 BALDWHITEGUYREVIEWS : 🚨�
🔥 D.B. Yummers, LLC BBQ SAUCE 🔥�
📍 Washington Court House, Ohio�
🌐 www.dbyummers.com
📘 D.B. Yummers, LLC

Listen… this BaldGuy did NOT grow up on a farm, but several years of working with Dr. Gary Junk at Fayette Veterinary Hospital, I learned my around a farm and growing up around Fayette County, there were certain names you just knew… and Bill Diley was one of them.

The man was basically local folklore. National FFA Organization. BBQ prophet. Probably could’ve negotiated world peace with a rack of ribs and a paper plate. Heck, he was so locally famous they named a BURGER after him at the The Rusty Keg Tavern. It's pretty good - ask for it by name - The Diley Burger. Around here, that’s one step below getting your face carved into Mount Rushmore. 🍔😂

And now… the legendary sauce recipe that started it all lives on through D.B. Yummers BBQ Sauce.

Folks… this stuff isn’t “pretty good.”

�This is “accidentally eating chicken nuggets at midnight standing in front of the refrigerator in your underwear” good.

🥇 MY FAVORITE: SWEET HEAT� S
weet up front… then a gentle little kick in the mouth that sneaks in like a disgruntled ex with a folding chair. Not enough to hurt you… just enough to remind you you’re alive. Perfect on burgers, chicken, tenders, wings, fries, probably drywall if times get tough. Absolute addiction in a bottle. 🔥

🔥 ORIGINAL SWEET & SMOKEY�
Classic backyard BBQ energy. Sweet, rich, smoky flavor that tastes like summer cookouts, lawn chairs, and somebody’s uncle explaining why he “almost went pro.” This is your dependable MVP sauce.

🌶 MIDLEY SPICEY BBQ�
For the people who enjoy a little spice but still want to keep their eyebrows attached. Nice smoky flavor with a medium heat that builds without turning dinner into a medical event.

💛 SWEET & TANGY GOLD BBQ�
Mustard-based magic. Sweet, tangy, smooth, and dangerously good. Carolina BBQ fans are gonna want to drink this straight from the bottle like it’s Gatorade after mowing the yard.

🏝 ISLAND BBQ SAUCE�
Sweet tropical vibes with smoky BBQ flavor. Like a backyard cookout took a vacation somewhere with palm trees and steel drums. Amazing on pork and grilled chicken.

And here’s the coolest part… D.B. Yummers supports the Future Farmers of America through fundraising opportunities.

Supporting local businesses that support local kids?
That’s the kind of full-circle small-town magic we need more of. 🚜❤️

This sauce is made right here in Ohio and now sold across Ohio, Indiana, and Kentucky. Not bad for a hometown recipe that probably started around a grill and a folding table.

So now I gotta ask:�

👇 HAVE YOU TRIED IT?�

What’s your favorite flavor?�

What are you putting it on?�
Burgers?
Chicken?
Ribs?
Burnt ends?

👉 Buy a bottle.�
👉 Buy a case.�
👉 Support local.�
👉 Like & Share this post so more people discover this hidden BBQ treasure before some food influencer with white sunglasses and a podcast claims they “discovered” it. 😂

👨‍🦲👨‍🦲👨‍🦲👨‍🦲 👨‍🦲
5 of 5 Bald Head

✅ Great Taste
✅ Plenty of flavors
✅ Locally Produced
✅ Supports our Kids

05/20/2026

BALDWHITEGUYREVIEWS
Carmichael's Honey LLC PBEE BUZZ

So I’m at Kroger looking for hamburger buns because apparently I’ve reached the age where getting excited about “good buns” is just part of life now.

Anyway… I wander past the Ohio liquor section and sitting there on an end cap like a drunk little beacon from heaven was this bright yellow jar called Carmichael’s PBee Buzz Honey Powered Peanut Spread.

First off… why was it by the liquor? 😂
�
Whoever designed that layout absolutely knew what they were doing. I guess.

Because nothing pairs better with bourbon than standing in your kitchen at 11:47 PM eating peanut butter directly from the jar while questioning your cholesterol medication.

Now listen… I LOVE peanut butter.
�Not in a cute “occasionally on toast” way either.

I’m talking unhealthy emotional-support peanut butter.
�
The kind where you open the cabinet for one spoonful and suddenly you’re sitting in silence like a feral woodland creature wondering where half the jar went. 🥜

And honey? Same problem.

So when I saw this magical bee nectar nut paste hybrid sitting there, my fat little heart started beating like a hummingbird on pre-workout.

I grabbed a jar.

And folks… this stuff SLAPS. 🤤 (as the cool kids say)

It’s thick.
�Not “natural peanut butter sliding around like warm gravy” thick.

I mean THICK thick.

�Like trying to spread cold concrete with a butter knife.
�You gotta commit to the sandwich. There’s upper body involvement.

But the taste? Lord have mercy.

It tastes like peanut butter and honey hooked up behind a Waffle House and produced a beautiful carbohydrate baby.

Sweet, salty, creamy… absolutely dangerous.

�I made one sandwich and immediately went back for another like a divorced dad at Golden Corral.

Then came the real test…

The Spoon Incident™.

You know exactly what I’m talking about. That moment where you say: “I’ll just try one little bite.”

Next thing you know you’re barefoot in the kitchen at midnight eating it over the sink like a wanted criminal because you don’t want your family hearing the spoon hit the jar again. 🍯🥜

Now let’s address the price.
💰 $7.99 for 14 oz.

At first I said:�“Eight dollars?!

These bees better be clocking in with dental insurance.”

But after tasting it? Fine. Whatever. Take my money.

Rob me gently, Carmichael’s.

For the label readers:�
🥜 Peanuts�
🍯 Honey�
🧂 Salt�
🌴 Palm fruit oil

Nutrition-wise:� About 160 calories per serving, 5g protein, and enough happiness to briefly make you forget property taxes exist. ?

And seriously… HOW have I never heard of this stuff before?!

Carmichael’s, your marketing team needs to wake up.�

You’ve got a product out here stronger than half the relationships on Facebook and nobody’s talking about it. 🇺🇸🐝

👨‍🦲👨‍🦲👨‍🦲👨‍🦲👨‍🦲�
5 out of 5 Bald Heads.

Would buy again.�
Would hide from family members.�
Would absolutely fight a toddler (even a big one) for the last spoonful.

🥜🍯🐝

05/12/2026

BaldWhiteGuyReviews
Elrodeo Mexican Restaurant
Stelzer Road

So there I was — flying into John Glenn Columbus International Airport like a man on a mission (a very important airport package mission, not a taco pilgrimage… technically), Mother’s Day chaos in the air, the bald clan’s delicate palates to please, and Yelp pointing us toward El Rodeo on Stelzer Road because algorithms love to pretend they know my stomach. Time to kill - hungry stomachs.

We rolled in, sat down immediately (shocking), and prepared to be mildly impressed.

What the pictures tell you without lying

Tacos on a foil throne — two soft flour tacos, ground meat, shredded lettuce, and grated cheese, looking like they dressed for a casual Friday and forgot to bring personality.

Rice cameo — Mexican-style rice peeking in like it’s trying to be relevant.

Salsa spread — three little bowls of hope: red salsa with chunks, a darker saucy friend, and a creamy queso that’s trying.

Receipt evidence — yes, Edin G served us (and then ghosted), check #124, Mother’s Day 6:28 PM — receipts don’t lie, people do.

The food in brutally honest terms

Chips and Salsa — Salsa: 10/10 for actually tasting like salsa and not regret. Chips: 6/10 because chips are chips. Nothing to brag about.

Cheese Dip — small bowl, big price. Melty, comforting, and the kind of thing you eat while pretending you’re sophisticated. $4.99 felt like a dare.

ChoriPollo — grilled chicken breast so thin it could double as a tortilla topping.

Chorizo? Chef’s kiss.

Pineapple? Sweet little plot twist.

Rice? A beige disappointment.

$16.99 for a flattened chicken that could use a hug.

Soft Tacos — exactly what you expect from a strip-mall taco: competent, forgettable, and priced like they were hand-rolled by a mariachi. $7.99 for two tacos that whisper “mediocre.”

Mexican Rice — the culinary equivalent of elevator music. $3.99 too much for boredom. ZZZzzzz

Service report
Edin G took our order like a pro and then performed the classic restaurant vanishing act. Ghosted. P**f.

Thankfully the rest of the staff filled in like a sitcom ensemble cast and kept plates moving.

So: competent team, questionable commitment to finishing conversations.

Financial Damage

Cheese Dip $4.99
ChoriPollo $16.99
2 Soft Tacos $7.99
Mexican Rice $3.99
Total $36.67

Yes, you paid $36.67 to be mildly satisfied and mildly annoyed. T

Pros and Cons
Pros
✅ Quick — in and out; perfect for airport-adjacent hunger emergencies.
✅ Salsa — actually good. Bring a spoon.

Cons
🛑 Nothing outstanding — it’s the culinary equivalent of beige carpeting. Safe, predictable, forgettable.
🛑Price — feels inflated for the level of excitement delivered.
Thin chicken — if I wanted a flattened protein, I’d buy a tortilla and call it a day.

Final Rating
👨‍🦲👨‍🦲👨‍🦲 — 3 of 5 Bald Heads

It’s not bad. It’s not great. It’s the kind of place you go when you’re tired, traveling, and don’t want to gamble with your stomach. If you live nearby and need a quick, safe Mexican meal before a flight, El Rodeo will do the job.

Engagement Challenge

You decide:
📣 Comment if you think $16.99 should buy a chicken that can stand up on its own.

👍 React if you’ve had better airport-adjacent Mexican.

🙏 Share if you want me to test the Stelzer Road margarita next time (I’ll need moral support and maybe a stronger palate).

Hot take: Support local, but don’t let “local” be an excuse for mediocrity.

05/12/2026

BaldWhiteGuyReviews 🍕👨‍🦲

Lievita
📍85 N. Paint Street, Chillicothe, Ohio�
🌐 www.eatlievita.com
Reservations available - but not required!

First things first.
It’s pronounced “Lee-VEE-tuh.”
Not “La-VEET-ah.”�
Not “Levitahhh.”
�Not “Leviosa” like you’re casting garlic bread spells at Hogwarts. 🪄🍞

I finally gave in to the nonstop internet temptation and headed to Chilli Bowl to try this locally famous pizza wizard shack after they were named the 3rd Best Pizza in the Midwest and the 25th Best Pizza in the WORLD at the International Pizza Expo.

World famous pizza… in Chillicothe, Ohio.

That sentence alone feels illegal somehow. 😂

I had the afternoon off and needed Sam's Club supplies anyway because apparently my household consumes toilet paper like we’re preparing for an apocalypse sponsored by Charmin.

Bill Gates has already started stirring the Hantavirus hysteria , and I’m going to be prepared.

Loaded up Red, punched Lievita into Waze, and immediately got sent on a scenic residential tour of Chillicothe that felt less like GPS navigation and more like a historical reenactment. At one point I expected a guy named Ezekiel to pass me in a horse-drawn buggy carrying candle wax and concerns about the railroad.

Downtown Chillicothe though? Love it.

Old buildings, busy sidewalks, little shops everywhere.

The whole place has this vintage energy where you half expect a barber quartet to jump out and start harmonizing near Thunderbird Tattoo Company

Parking was easy. Paying for parking? 💸

Walking into Lievita was slightly confusing because the first thing you see is basically a sign saying “No no… use the OTHER door.” 😂

Plenty of (occupied) outdoor seating!

Inside though? Fantastic atmosphere.

Big bar on the left, booths on the right, old building charm.

At first I thought, “Dang this place is tiny and packed for Monday lunch.”

Then I discovered there’s another dining room tucked away like a secret pasta annex. Plenty of seating.

Our waitress Lizzie T. appeared to be handling it all by herself while moving at speeds normally only seen in hummingbirds and people avoiding Child Support Court.

Drinks stayed full the entire time though. Elite performance. 🏆

Now… appetizers.

We ordered the Cheesy Garlic Bread.

Friends… this wasn’t garlic bread. This was an edible love letter written by Italians with cholesterol and confidence.

Homemade sourdough loaded with butter and cheese, baked perfectly crispy on the outside and chewy inside. Then came the marinara.

Good LORD that marinara. Thick. Chunky. Rich. The kind of sauce that makes you consider drinking it directly from the container.

Now logically, a normal person visits a world-famous pizza place and orders pizza.

I did not.

While staring at the menu wondering (out loud) why they didn’t have spaghetti listed, my wife, who remains significantly smarter and better looking than me, pointed out the “Build Your Own Pasta” section where you can literally… build spaghetti.

I have the observational skills of a potato.

While spiraling through this spaghetti crisis, I noticed the “NEW” Dish - Philly Mac.

Classic mac and cheese topped with shaved ribeye, peppers, onions, and mushrooms.

As a certified Philly Cheesesteak enthusiast and part-time cheese-based decision maker, I had to try it despite the $24 price tag.

Here’s the best way to describe it:
Imagine if a Philly Cheesesteak got drunk at a dive bar and woke up spooning a bowl of creamy mac and cheese. 🧀🥩

Rich. Gooey. Savory. Comfort food with absolutely no regard for my blood pressure.

The ribeye was flavorful, the cheese sauce was solid, and the whole thing tasted amazing.

Only downside? Smaller portion than expected for the price.

Delicious? Yes.

Financially aggressive? Also yes.

It came with a mixed greens salad which reminded me that apparently adulthood means pretending lettuce with stems tastes exciting.

I’m an iceberg lettuce guy.�

I like my salads crunchy and emotionally unavailable.

The ranch tasted homemade and had a strong pepper kick. I liked it, but if black pepper scares you more than your electric bill, proceed carefully.

Meanwhile my wife built herself a spaghetti masterpiece with marinara and absolutely won lunch.

Huge portion. Perfectly cooked pasta. That same heavenly marinara. Plenty left over for another meal.

Her salad was also lawn like with Italian dressing (house made?)

Final thoughts:

Lievita absolutely lives up to the hype. Great atmosphere. Great service. Great food. Cool downtown location. And somehow they’ve turned Chillicothe into an internationally recognized pizza destination which sounds made up but apparently is real life now.

Also worth noting… everyone in there looked happy. Lizzie was handling it all - inside, outside and even to go orders like a champ. Everyone was patient and no complaining! That’s usually the sign of either great food or strong whiskey.

Financial Damage 💸�
• Water: Free. As God intended.�
• Cheesy Garlic Bread: $8 and worth every buttery artery clogging penny�
• Build Your Own Spaghetti: $15 and an excellent deal�
• Philly Mac: $24. Delicious but priced like it comes with a small timeshare in Naples�

• Total Damage: $47 for lunch 😳

Final Rating:�
👨‍🦲👨‍🦲👨‍🦲👨‍🦲 4 out of 5 Bald Heads

Pros:�
✅ Excellent atmosphere�
✅ Fantastic food�
✅ Incredible marinara�
✅ Great service �
✅ Cool downtown location�
✅ More than just pizza

Cons:�
❌ Philly Mac is a little overpriced�
❌ Paid parking because apparently downtown Chillicothe thinks it’s Manhattan

If you’re in Chillicothe, stop by. Even if you don’t get the famous pizza, this place absolutely delivers.

Tell them the BaldWhiteGuy sent you. They’ll probably look confused, but still.

👍 Like�📲 Follow�🔄 Share

05/10/2026

BaldWhiteGuyReviews 🍅🌭🔥

Cleveland Ketchup Co.
🛜 https://clevelandketchup.com

O….H….

This review started a few weeks ago at Broadway Plates & Pints when I tasted some ketchup that didn’t come from a giant red squeeze bottle made in a chemistry lab.

It came from Cleveland Ketchup Company and after one bite I was standing there reading the ingredient label like a detective solving a tomato-based crime.

You mean to tell me I can pronounce all these ingredients?

No high fructose corn syrup?

No mysterious glowing syrup harvested from a government silo underneath Nebraska? 🤨

Naturally I went full condiment and ordered the 5-pack combo from Cleveland Ketchup Co. for $30 with free shipping because apparently this is who I am now.

A middle-aged bald man impulse-buying artisanal ketchup on the internet. Living the dream. 🇺🇸

The box arrived and sat on my counter for days like some spicy little condiment mafia family daring me to test my intestinal courage.

So this morning while grocery shopping at Walmart Washington Court House I decided… today is the day.

Grabbed:�🌭 Nathan's Famous Bun Length Skinless Beef Franks�Because there is nothing worse than a bun hanging out there longer than your wiener. . Nature demands balance.

🌭 Pepperidge Farm Top-Sliced buns�Because only absolute savages split hotdog buns down the side.

Top-sliced buns are superior engineering.

They cradle your meat like a supportive orthopedic shoe for your Weiner.

Then I committed the culinary felony of tossing a couple dogs into the microwave. ⚡�

Thirty seconds later those dogs came out looking like they had just returned from a nuclear stress test at Area 51. Skin tight. Steaming.

Questionable life decisions everywhere.

I started safe:�
👉 Yellow Mustard�
👉 GameTime Mustard

The Yellow Mustard tasted exactly how yellow mustard SHOULD taste. Clean, tangy, classic ballpark flavor. No weird aftertaste. No chemical burn. Just dependable mustard energy.

The GameTime Mustard had a little deeper flavor with a smoky kick that made me feel like I should be yelling at a referee while wearing white New Balance shoes. Really good stuff.

But then…
Then came the Jalapeño Mustard. 🌶️🔥

Sweet merciful baby Jesus. 🙏

That stuff slapped me directly in the sinuses. One bite and my nose started running faster than a suspect hearing “Sir, step out of the vehicle.”

It has amazing jalapeño flavor without tasting fake or vinegary. Legit heat. The kind that sneaks up on you like an unpaid electric bill.

If you love spicy food, this mustard deserves your attention immediately.

Now onto the heavyweight championship round…

I air fried some Ore-Ida Crispy Crowns because those little crunchy potato hockey pucks are the greatest tater tot evolution mankind has achieved. I love them!

On the plate:�
🍅 Classic Cleveland Ketchup�
🔥 Ghost Pepper Ketchup

First thing you notice… the Ghost Pepper ketchup is darker. Like regular ketchup joined a biker gang.

I dipped one Crispy Crown.
Immediate regret.
Then immediate happiness.
Then pain.
Then more happiness.

My eyes started watering.
My nose was running.
My stomach filed a formal complaint with management.

This ketchup is HOT hot. Not fake internet hot. Real hot.
“I may need to reevaluate my life choices” hot.
But the flavor is incredible. Smoky, rich, spicy, and honestly addictive.

The Classic ketchup was equally impressive. Clean tomato flavor, balanced sweetness, and doesn’t taste sugary, the way some store brands do.

Best part?

It’s an Ohio company making a genuinely awesome product with real ingredients.

Support local businesses, folks. Even if they ARE from Cleveland. 🙃

Now if you’re a lightweight with spicy food, I would strongly caution against combining the Jalapeño Mustard AND Ghost Pepper Ketchup in the same meal.

I’m pretty sure I may have to go squat in a creek later so I don’t accidentally set the woods on fire. 🔥🌲💩

FINAL RATING:�
👨‍🦲👨‍🦲👨‍🦲👨‍🦲👨‍🦲�5 out of 5 Bald Heads
✔️ Awesome Taste�
✔️ Responsible Ingredients�
✔️ Free Shipping�
✔️ Legit Spice�
✔️ Made in O…..H…..I…..O 🇺🇸

If you’ve tried Cleveland Ketchup Co., let me know your favorite flavor below! 👇

If you haven’t head over to https://clevelandketchup.com and place your order. Tell them the BaldWhiteGuy sent you!

👍 Like�
📢 Share�
👨‍🦲 Follow BaldWhiteGuyReviews for more questionable culinary adventures from a bald man with absolutely no business reviewing food professionally.

05/09/2026

BaldWhiteGuyReviews
Domino's Pizza

Forgive me, locally owned pizza gods — I betrayed you for convenience, nostalgia, and a fleeting romance with a $5 memory. 🙏🍕

I’m a proud supporter of mom‑and‑pop pies, but temptation came in the form of an app: Domino’s, no-contact pickup, and the siren song of “it’s been a hot minute.”

I ordered a 14” (apparently “large”) Thin Crust because I wanted to try something new and also because my inner poor‑me whispered, remember the $5 days? 💸

The crust: Domino’s “thin” is a confident whisper of crunch that gives up after two bites — crisp at the edge, limp in the middle, and philosophically committed to being… adequate.

Not bad if you like your pizza to behave like a budget yoga mat. 🧘‍♂️🍕

Toppings ordered: Pepperoni; Pepperoni; Bacon; Banana Peppers; Onions; Mushrooms; Extra Sauce; Extra Cheese.

Yes, I doubled down and paid for “extra” because I faintly remember Domino’s being toppings stingy.

I was right. Even with “extra,” the toppings played hide‑and‑seek and mostly won. Sparse pepperoni, shy bacon, and cheese that barley covered the sauce. 🕵️‍♂️🧀

Garlic Bread Bites: Exactly what you expect from a chain: buttery, garlicky, and pillow‑adjacent — pleasant enough to distract you for a bite or two.

But there was no pizza sauce included, which is either a bold minimalist statement or a tragic oversight. 🥖🧄

Ordered via app, paid via app (very civilized), and the app said the pizza “ready in 10 minutes.” Ten minutes? Either Domino’s has discovered teleportation or their ovens are powered by nuclear power.

The pizza sat in a warmer on the counter like a tired contestant waiting for adoption. I drove there, grabbed it contact‑free, and picked up the pie.

Result: adequate — exactly what I wanted for a nostalgia hit and exactly what I expected when I asked for a high‑volume, low‑quality throwback.

It filled the hole in my wallet and the hole in my memory, but didn’t do much else.

Price check:
Pizza + Garlic Bites + Chicken Habanero Sub (another day’s lunch) = $33.47.

Ouch. Overpriced - Undervalue 💸😬

Will I do it again?

Maybe for the convenience or the nostalgia trip, but my heart (and my taste buds) belong to Center Pizza, Super Sport Pizza & Wings, Giovanni's Pizza of Washington Court House, OH, Amore' Pizzeria and Starlight Pizza (if they are open).

Support your local spots — they feel pain when you order elsewhere. 😭🍕❤️

Final verdict:

Domino’s scratched the nostalgia itch, but it was a polite scratch, not a full‑on backrub. If you want cheap memories, go for it. If you want actual pizza joy, call your local hero.

Final Rating:
👨‍🦲👨‍🦲 - 2 of 5 Bald Heads
Overpriced and undervalued

🍕✨

05/08/2026

My shipment of Cleveland Ketchup Company arrived. Can’t wait for cheeseburgers, hotdogs and fries to try these out!

I’m excited about the Ghost Pepper Ketchup!

05/06/2026

Alright, Fayette County — time for a little public service announcement from your favorite bald, white, brutally honest reviewer.

If you don’t vote, you don’t complain.

That’s not me being mean; that’s basic civic math.

You’ve got Facebook, opinions, and a thumb ready to type a manifesto at 2 a.m., but somehow ten minutes to mark a ballot is a bridge too far. Cute.

Quick reality check:

✅ Fayette County had 28,876 people in 2020.

✅ 16,769 registered voters (just over 50% — impressive in its mediocrity).

✅ 4,021 people actually voted in the May 5th primary — that’s 14% of the population.

🟰 Total turnout: 23.98%.

Translation: embarrassing. People in other parts of the world risk their lives for a voice; we can’t spare ten minutes and a pen.

Priorities, I guess.

🗳️ I vote because families sacrificed so I could.

🗳️ I vote because it’s inconvenient and therefore worth something.

🗳️ I vote because when the results come in, I want the right to say, “Told you so,” without sounding like a hypocrite.

If you’re not willing to show up, you forfeit the moral high ground — and the right to clog my feed with hot takes.

👍 Yes, primaries matter.

👍 Yes, local races matter.

👎 No, your “this is only a primary” excuse doesn’t make you noble — it makes you lazy.

Want better leaders? Vote 🗳️

Want better schools, roads, taxes, whatever you rant about at 3 a.m.? Vote.

Want to keep posting angry memes and never lift a finger? Fine — but don’t be surprised when your complaints get zero likes.

So here’s the controversial bit: maybe Facebook should have a “voted” badge before you get to rant.

Or better yet, a temporary mute for anyone who posts policy takes without a ballot stub.

Harsh? Maybe. Effective? Probably.

Get it together, Fayette County.

Next time the polls open, set an alarm, bribe a friend, or just show up.

Your future self (and your neighbors) will thank you — or at least stop rolling their eyes at your comments.

05/03/2026

BaldWhiteGuyReviews – Rip Rap Roadhouse

Somewhere between the National Museum of the U.S. Air Force and a full-blown teenage prom picture drama, two dudes and one aging chrome dome went looking for fuel.

Not jet fuel. Food.

We started the day like overachievers… showed up when the museum opened.

Pro move. Beat the crowd.

Free, educational, and packed with enough history to make you feel both smarter and wildly unqualified to ever complain about your job again.

The boys hit the simulators like they were auditioning for Top Gun 3: Goose’s Revenge and I got to chat with a veteran who casually knew more about aircraft than I know about my own lawn mower. Solid day.

Fast forward 7,000 museum miles later… hunger hit like a freight train.

Enter: Rip Rap Roadhouse
📍 6024 Rip Rap Road, Dayton Ohio (I see what they did there)

Great name. Sounds like a place where either you get a burger… or recruited into a biker gang. Either way, I’m in.

We rolled up just before noon like we were in Road House.

I half expected Patrick Swayze to roundhouse kick someone through a table while whispering, “Be nice… until it’s time to not be nice.”

Instead, we got… a quiet Saturday, no band, no bikes, and a hostess stand playing an intense game of hide-and-seek.

We waited.�
And waited.�
And waited long enough to consider aging another decade.

Eventually we were spotted and seated.

Heather K stepped in and kept things moving… on what I’d call a “casually hydrated timeline.”

Drinks were re-filled… eventually…

🍽️ The Food Situation
Menu? Massive.
If it can be fried, grilled, or renamed “Grillbilly,” it’s here.

Drinks:
* Root beer for the boys… or as I’d call it: root beer-adjacent thoughts.
* Water for me… crisp, cold, and understood the assignment.

Appetizer:� Pickle ranch fries (name may vary, grease level does not).� Deep fried. Ranch-covered. Delicious. The kind of food that whispers, “Cardio is a tomorrow problem.”

Gone in 90 seconds. Paper left behind looked like it survived an oil spill.

🎖️ Call Signs Activated

Maverick:�
Meatloaf sandwich.�
Review: “It’s… fine.”� (that's his mom's line)
Translation: edible, but emotionally unavailable.
Basically a hamburger that went through a midlife identity crisis. Not much flavor.

Fanboy:�
Cinnamon Roll Pancakes.�Two pancakes, a cinnamon swirl, glaze, syrup… and a direct hotline to diabetes.�

He tapped out halfway but declared it a win. Took the rest home like a champion.

Viper (Bald Commander-in-Chief):�
Beef Cheesesteak.� 😱 Surprising I know.

Looked amazing. Smelled amazing.

First bite… needed a pep talk.�

Added salt and pepper and suddenly it woke up like it had bills due.

Solid sandwich after that.

Fries? Crispy, seasoned, and frankly the MVP of the plate.

💰 The Damage
$56.92 for three of us. One with leftovers.
Nobody crying (much). Fair enough.

Requested a fly buy.

🧠 A Little Background (Because I Googled Like a Professional)

Rip Rap Roadhouse leans hard into that classic roadhouse vibe, complete with live music nights, biker-friendly energy, and a menu built for people who believe calories are just suggestions.

From what’s available publicly, it appears to be a locally operated spot, not some cookie-cutter chain, which explains the personality.

This place isn’t trying to be perfect… it’s trying to be your place.

Especially when the weather warms up and the bikes come out, this looks like it turns into a full-blown hangout with bands, patio seating, and enough horsepower in the parking lot to make your insurance agent nervous.

🧾 Final Rating
👨‍🦲👨‍🦲👨‍🦲 3 out of 5 Bald Heads

✅ Pro’s
* Cool roadhouse vibe. Feels like a summer hotspot waiting to happen
* Big menu. Something for everyone, even your picky dimpled one.
* Food is filling
* Weekend brunch menu 👀
* Local feel. Not corporate. Not boring

🛑 Con’s
* Root beer tasted like it lost a bet
* Host stand invisibility cloak needs repaired
* Food needed more seasoning out of the gate
* Brunch menu limits on the weekend… let me live my full-menu life

🏁 Final Thoughts
Good stop. Not life-changing, but definitely worth another lap… especially when it’s 80 degrees, bikes are lined up outside, and a band is cranking in the background.

If you ride a Harley, this might be your church.

If you don’t, you can still show up… just don’t rev your engine like you’re announcing your life choices to the neighborhood. We get it. You smoke, may or may note be married to a relative and own leather.

Would I go back? Yep.
�Would I order root beer? Absolutely not.

Bald White Guy Reviews

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