Llumos

05/21/2026

Sunday was the test: How much do I practice what I talk about? Can you really choose for the long-term when it hurts, physically or emotionally?

I started with a very solid swim at The IRONMAN Group 70.3 in Chattanooga. Then I hopped on my trusty bike, Orange Crush, and went to shift my gears. Nothing. No shifting. Only one gear. I ran over to a bike tech who tried to help me, and we could get nowhere. I suddenly felt completely helpless, watching my hopes of a potential podium finish slide quickly away.

Several thoughts flooded my brain: What did I do wrong? Why is my bike doing this? Why today? Should I just drop out and take a DNF (did not finish)?

I spent several minutes justifying that last thought, thinking that I was rationally deciding that my best effort would be spending the day cheering on my teammates (and perhaps drowning my sorrows after). Meanwhile, the irrational part of my brain was saying: You can't do it anyway. You won't make the time cutoff. You'll be miserable out there, 56 miles in one gear in 90 degrees. Every one of the other 2,500 athletes out here will pass you. It will be humiliating.

Ah, the delicious momentary indulgence of self pity and it's behavioral cousin, quitting. No one would know I might fail if I just gave up and CHOSE not to finish.

Well...almost no one. Just...me.

This perhaps is at the heart of the of .

Endurance doesn't mean only investing in the tough thing when you know the outcome. It means choosing it even when the future is uncertain and there may be no external reward.

I'd love to tell you that that highbrow, pinnacle-of-the-Maslovian-hierarchy thinking was at the top of my brain. But it wasn't.

The thought that changed my trajectory was: I can't look my husband David Bowers-Evangelista or my coach Hillary Schmitt in the face if I give up. Dave is out here suffering somewhere, his first race in 11 years. How could I hug him at the finish line, knowing I could have been there too? How will I be proud for him if I can't be proud for myself?

Maybe that's what it takes sometimes to have long-term leadership courage. Finding the one small thing that propels you to do what you really don't want to do in a difficult moment - for the greater good.

isn't about grand, noble gestures or Herculean sacrifice. It's about making that small, sometime quiet choice for what truly reflects your values and your mission. Even when nobody else notices.

I hopped back on Orange Crush and pedaled at a ridiculously high cadence for close to four hours. Then I ran 13.1 miles on tired legs. I finished fourth in my age group on the swim and the run - and 5th from last on the bike. 😆

No one particularly noticed when I finished. But that was one of the proudest darn moments of my endurance athlete career.

and are not always easy or dignified. But they are always worth it.

PS Dave finished, too - an .

01/15/2025

Excited to join Regina Barr & Women at the Top tomorrow for this discussion about the importance of endurance in long-term leadership! Please join us!

01/06/2025

04/12/2024

Great conversation with Henry DeVries on Agency Rainmaker TV! In this segment, I talk with Henry about how my new book, The Endurance Leader, helps new executives and established senior leaders learn leadership longevity in a world of quick wins. Grab a cup of coffee and watch our 5-minute chat: https://lnkd.in/e9BmRays



https://www.linkedin.com/posts/drannieb-e_theenduranceleader-activity-7184583743167201280-Wj1m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop

01/31/2024

I was at the airport trying to register for CLEAR (clearme.com) this morning. I was told I must return with my passport because apparently, my husband is "primary" on our checking account and therefore I cannot be verified with an ID.

This brought on flashbacks to my first weeks of being a living overseas. I was shocked at my experience of clearly existent : I couldn't register a vehicle without my spouse's signature, and I couldn't even work in the country in which we were stationed. As an almost 50-year-old woman at the time, with my own longstanding successful business (making more than my spouse, BTW), I was confused/enraged that my independent identity could be completely subjugated in service of the military mandate.

I begrudgingly accepted this system under some auspice that this MUST be the way we keep our country secure (!). But the impact of this system led to demoralization, helplessness, and some hopelessness. For those playing at home, those are all hallmarks of depression. And I was not alone: I heard many spouses describe themselves as "just a spouse," as if their identity had disappeared behind the shadow of their partner's service. I watched incredibly capable spouses (and let's be clear, most of them women) with advanced degrees and years of management and leadership experience accept low-wage, dead-end jobs or volunteer positions just to feel like they had some way to be productive. While it may not always be indentured servitude, it certainly is capitalizing on the misfortune of military dependents. And while male dependents are equally affected, the vast majority of military spouses are female. Would this happen if it were not the case?

Let me be clear: I am fiercely proud of my spouse's service and our service as a family. But I do not think the military is perfect - just as CLEAR (clearme.com) is not. Many policies should be seriously questioned due to the financial, social, and economic harm they cause spouses and families. While "obey" may be in some partner commitments, it certainly was not in ours, and no one would cringe at that notion more than my husband.

It took me years to recover my confidence, self-worth, and business success after those years overseas. And it took about 13 seconds at Reagan National this morning for it all to be questioned once again. As a White woman of high economic means, I am more fortunate than almost all others facing this situation. I'm grateful and humble, but I'm angry that this still exists.

Isn't it time that our military, and our private companies, create parity for all couples? Our families, our businesses, our military, and our economy all deserve it.

https://www.stripes.com/theaters/europe/2023-08-07/overseas-and-under-the-poverty-line:-the-system-that-keeps-so-many-military-spouses-abroad-unemployed%C2%A0-10941745.html

12/07/2023

Cultural and religious humility is an important element of personal leadership. Check out my LinkedIn article to read one small way we try to exercise it.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/honoring-departed-religious-humility-exercise-personal-leadership-svgaf

08/24/2023

CALLING ALL WORKING MOMS! My amazing friend and colleague Carolyn Maue of Gourmet Leadership is offering a group coaching course for specifically for you! Click the link below to learn more!

Check out this Presentation designed by sonder.says.

03/01/2023

Do you know a leader who uses or as a leadership strategy? Over 23 years as an and , I've seen more than a few leaders who maintain that highlighting the shortcomings or failures of a team member in public is the right way to hold people accountable and put pressure on the team to perform. Or worse, they justify it as "brutal honesty," which they uphold as a value that builds trust and transparency. (FYI the literature on provides a very different view!)

Two truths such leaders should think about:

No matter how close you think you are to your team members, they are much closer to one another. When you single out any one of them, they will close ranks and protect one another - even if they do so silently. This is because every one of them can see themselves being in that hot seat, and they feel for the person who is in it. Your attempts to influence team members to see your intended target poorly will likely boomerang. In other words:

There is usually only one person that the group is thinking is a jerk - and it's you.

When we show negative emotion with our team, their limbic systems immediately kick in, evoking fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses. Their energy is focused on protecting themselves and returning to a safe environment, NOT on your message. Put differently,

In the face of your anger or criticism, people will focus on managing your emotion, not your content. You are forcing your team to lead/manage you, rather than the other way around.

To help team members maximize critical feedback, deliver your messages in private and when emotions are neutral. Take a FAIR approach: Focus on a specific situation, Articulate the problematic behavior, Identify the impact, and Reflect with them on the information shared. Give them an opportunity to respond and ensure they take ownership. Then agree to a plan of action to remediate.

Critical feedback can be a powerful motivational tool, provided it's done with the right objective, in the right context, and with the right frame of mind. Anger and criticism will also motivate people - to walk right out the door.

Follow me at https://www.llumos.com

06/28/2022

What an engaging and energizing conversation on with Simon Vetter on his TeaminUp podcast! Take a listen and let me know what you think!

How can Endurance Leadership help you thrive in the face of today's endless challenges? Listen to my podcast interview with Simon Vetter, behavioral change expert, executive coach extraordinaire, and personal friend. How do YOU apply endurance leadership in your work? Let me know what you think!

06/28/2022