06/05/2025
We spend so much energy trying to push away discomfort—noise, obligation, tension, emotion. But resistance isn’t just a mindset issue. It’s a nervous system response.
When we override our internal signals (to be liked, to keep the peace, to stay productive), we burn out.
What if, instead of resisting, we practiced inclusion?
Key Insight:
What we resist owns us.
What we allow—we can respond to.
Try this instead:
Notice when your body says “ugh”—that’s resistance talking.
Pause. Bring Neutral awareness. Don’t judge it. Just stay with it.
Ask: How much energy is tied up in this? What if I let this belong?
This isn’t about liking discomfort. It’s about staying in relationship with what’s real. That’s how we move from automatic reactions to aligned choices.
🛑 Signs Your Nervous System Is Dysregulated—and How to Rebalance 🛑
What a W**d Eater Taught Me About Presence
I took a yoga class a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t done that in a few years, and the combination of a new space, a new teacher, and new movements felt unfamiliar. I was already a little on edge—trying to get comfortable, trying to find my place.
Just as I began to settle, I heard it: the mechanical buzz of a w**d eater outside—sharp, jarring, impossible to ignore. I felt a spike of irritation. This was supposed to be a peaceful space. And yet here was this harsh noise breaking the stillness.
I tried to dismiss it and be "zen" about it, but I was annoyed.
The yoga teacher noticed the noise, too, but she had a different response. She smiled and said calmly, “This too belongs.”
She explained a bit more about it and it stuck with me after class. I even put a sticky note on my computer.
She wasn’t pretending the noise was beautiful. She was simply choosing how to relate to what was present.
There were times I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Wasn’t that just an excuse? A way to gloss over discomfort or inconvenience? Some kind of spiritual bypass?
But the more I sat with it, the more it began to shift something in me.
Because it’s not about surrendering to injustice, or pretending that every experience is good. It’s about acknowledging reality—with presence. It’s about letting what’s here be here, without needing to resist, fix, or exile it.
What we resist, owns us. What we allow—we can respond to.
The Hidden Cost of Emotional Resistance
You might not be battling a w**d eater in your yoga class, but you’ve probably felt a similar internal tension. That moment when something interrupts your rhythm or demands something of you, and a part of you says, "Ugh, no."
Sometimes it shows up as a sudden irritation. Other times it’s a wearier resentment that’s been brewing in the background for weeks. Either way, it’s a signal from your body.
You may sense resistance:
when you feel obligated to say yes to something you don’t actually want to do.
in an invitation to another event when what you truly need is solitude.
when you see someone’s name pop up on your phone and feel yourself emotionally brace.
You might recognize the emotion first—frustration, dread, or guilt. That's your body saying No, but your mind hasn’t caught up yet.
This is what makes resistance so slippery. It doesn’t always scream. Sometimes it whispers through fatigue, tension, or a lack of desire.
When we override those signals, even for good reasons, we drain ourselves.
Over time, this builds up until we find ourselves burned out. Disconnected from our own knowing, our joy, and our ability to choose freely.
A practice like "this too belongs" matters—not because it makes everything feel good—but because it helps us feel everything. It keeps us in relationship with what’s real (and ourselves), so we can respond from a place of wholeness instead of pressure.
Understanding Resistance as a Nervous System Response
You’ve probably told yourself (or someone else) to "just let it go" or "don’t take it personally." But if your body is experiencing something as a threat, it doesn’t matter how much you know you shouldn’t be upset.
Even small things—a sharp tone, a critical email, or an overflowing schedule—can cue your system into protection mode.
"Your nervous system doesn’t speak logic. It speaks sensation. This is why resistance isn’t just a mindset problem—it’s a nervous system one.
Your body constantly scans for cues of safety or threat. When it senses threat, it shifts into protection—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
That might look like overexplaining, going quiet, apologizing reflexively, or wanting to escape. These responses aren’t flaws—they’re smart, protective strategies that helped you survive.
If you’ve spent years reading the room and managing others’ emotions, your own signals may feel faint or confusing. Not gone—just buried.
You haven’t lost your inner signals—they’ve just been drowned out.
That’s where interoception comes in: your ability to notice what’s happening inside your body. It helps you differentiate between:
A genuine yes and a polite or fear-based one
Numbing and true rest
Avoiding something vs. honoring your capacity
This isn’t about analyzing every sensation. It’s about re-learning how to listen to the language of your body.
Real-Life Tools for Meeting Resistance with Neutral
I wish I could tell you that once you recognize resistance, it disappears. It doesn’t. But what does change is how you meet it.
These days, when I feel that subtle internal aversion—the "yuck"—I try to:
Notice how strong the feeling is
Ask how much energy is tied up in it
Bring Neutral energy and just sit with it, without judgment (see the link below for an audio recording of how to find neutral)
When I do this, something shifts. My body feels more spacious. I’m not in a tug-of-war with the discomfort. I can relate to it instead of reacting from it.
That gives me more choice about whether to move forward, hold back, or shift direction entirely.
Letting the resistance have some space brings me back to myself.
How My Clients Shift from Burnout to Self-Trust
A client of mine—let’s call her Jenny—once described how she used to move through her week in "torpedo mode." She was smart, efficient, and on the edge of total burn out.
When we started working together, she thought she had a time management problem. But what she really had was a self-permission problem.
Her nervous system had learned that forward motion = safety. Slowing down felt dangerous. Saying no felt risky.
But when she learned to pause, check in, and bring Neutral, she began making clearer, calmer choices—without abandoning herself. She still excelled, but with less friction. And more freedom. She lost nothing and gained a lot.
This is what it looks like to move from automatic to aligned. Not perfect. Just present.
You Don’t Have to Fight So Hard to Feel Better
Most of us are trying to do something meaningful—raise families, run businesses, show up well. Often while quietly managing stress, fear, doubt, or fatigue.
As a recovering perfectionist and doer, here’s what I keep reminding myself:
You don’t have to fight what’s hard.
You don’t have to fix it right away.
You don’t have to pretend it’s not bothering you.
You don’t even have to fully understand it.
You just have to include it.
"This too, belongs" helps us pause, reconnect, and respond from presence instead of pressure.
By meeting resistance with Neutral instead of force, we have more choice. Instead of reacting we're able to stop abandoning ourselves.
Want support in practicing this? I’ve recorded a short audio that guides you through bringing Neutral energy to "something yucky." Try it out and let me know how it goes.
https://www.kathytaylorcoaching.com/download-cultivating-neutral
