09/04/2026
🌟 September Employee of the Month: Michael Wallace! 🌟
This month, we’re celebrating Michael Wallace, our resident Squirrel Herder (yes, that’s his official answer). Michael has a knack for problem-solving and, perhaps even more importantly, calming stressed customers when things aren’t going quite as planned. With patience, experience, and a steady approach, he helps turn stressful situations into manageable ones.
What makes Michael, Michael?
💼 Work superpower: Calming down stressed customers. When tensions rise, Michael brings the temperature back down.
📚 After-hours reset: Reading, yard work, and walking the dog.
✈️ Dream getaway: Exploring ancient places in Turkey, Iran, Egypt, and beyond. The older the history, the better.
🧀 Comfort craving: Doritos. Not just a favorite—a self-described addiction. His everyday drink is Berkey-filtered water, but date night with his wife calls for an Old Fashioned.
🎶 Life’s theme track: After more than half a century, choosing just one is impossible. For a modern pick, it’s Little Gothic by Seraphim Shock. From his youth, Lucretia My Reflection by The Sisters of Mercy gets the nod.
❤️ Favorite activity: Spending time with his family doing pretty much anything.
🎄 Favorite holiday: Christmas because of his kids—and a growing appreciation for traditional Christmas music.
🌊 Water-side wish: Sitting beside a river, preferably alone, with a good book. Sounds pretty peaceful to us.
🐾 Favorite animals: Crows and bunnies in the wild. At home, hens win because, as Michael points out, they produce eggs. Practicality counts.
🎲 Favorite games: Old-school tabletop role-playing games from the ’70s and ’80s, including original D&D, Star Frontiers, and Gamma World.
🏔️ Beach or mountains? Mountains! Michael goes to the beach once a year mainly so he can say he went.
💡 Best part of the job: Problem-solving—which explains why he’s so good at handling those stressed customers.
🎯 This year’s goals: “Stay alive, keep the family functioning, that sort of thing.” We’re calling that a solid and refreshingly realistic plan.
✨ Random delight: In the early 1990s, Michael had dinner with the Prime Minister of Barbados. At the same dinner, he met the owner of Mount Gay Rum. We’re going to need the full story on this one, Michael.
Help us congratulate Michael on being our September Employee of the Month! Whether he’s solving problems, calming customers, herding squirrels, or simply keeping the family functioning, we’re glad to have him on our team. Congratulations, Michael! 🌟👏