26/07/2023
This poem by sets me thinking about the creative darkness in relationships.
When we meet, we show each other the light side. The happy, outgoing, fun and so well-adjusted side. Then later, probably just after we have shacked up or gotten married, the masks begin to slip. No, no - you must put that mask back on! I see that thing down there with a tail. What else lives there?
What lives down here is my fears, my deep longings, my ruined ambitions. What lives here is the suspicion that I am way more sexually interesting than I can let on to you or to myself.
Will you shut me down (though I see your darkness too) or shall we look at this together? Shall we make a safe place to let the danger out?
If your man displays weakness, do not open his guts with the knife of your disdain. If your woman expresses desire for another, do not shame her. Sit together, face to face, in the trembling of this exposure. This is the dance.
Once the demons have spoken, they might not need to enact themselves in the world. Maybe what she was really longing for was to be touched intimately by your presence, to be understood deeper than she understands herself. She wanted that in you which was born with this courage. And now you know.
Not all demons are worthy of the dance. See those ones called Narcissism and Addiction and Abuse and Hungry Ghost (the one who looks alive but whose heart is turned to stone). See these ones and others of their tribe? There is nothing you can give them. They don't want a space of sharing, they want all your space. They don't want your love, they want your soul. They don't want to dance with you, they want you dead.
Know when to draw a line and walk away.