28/09/2026
I'm not a competitive person, but I definitely have a competitive part. It comes out when I play tennis, backgammon, 30 Seconds, Tac, and Codenames.
My competitive side stretches me. It pushes me to challenge myself to be better than I was yesterday, and I love that. I have also learned to make friends with and love my competitive part so it's there when the context is appropriate and quiet when it isn't.
I used to need to 'win' to be right about ideas and facts. Often, I realised being right was more about being heard. I didn't always need everyone to agree with my perspective; I needed them to acknowledge that I had a perspective. I guess I changed from needing to be right to needing to be acknowledged.
I love Virginia Satir's growth model, and it's the lens I use for the world. I used to see some ideas as competing with the model I knew, loved and was teaching. I thought I just needed to teach them the 'right' way of seeing it. That didn't get me anywhere. What I realised was that, so much of the time, the ideas were related: each offered another doorway into the same thing. Parts theory was another way to talk about Virginia's mandala and parts party. Permissions added a nuance to her freedoms and family rules: asking for what you want might first mean giving yourself permission. When I paused and really listened, I found something for myself too.
Sometimes there isn't one way in. What have you found?
